Wednesday, March 25, 2009
The clouds have parted
Sometimes I go back to a post I've written and think what the hell was wrong me to write such drivel? Yesterday's post was one of those posts. I'm not sure what that pity party was all about but I'm totally over it. Your kind and supportive comments were greatly appreciated, and you helped me realize that my life really isn't all doom and gloom. Some days are just like that I guess, where the smallest annoyances seem monumental.
Today is a much better day. I've made peace with myself for some poor choices I made during the past year (with my therapist's help yesterday). I really do think things happen for a reason, and I think my poor choices have actually made me stronger. Even my marriage, which I thought would be destroyed by what I had done, seems to be stronger and better because of it. I really don't regret anything that's happened. For me to feel this way is huge. I've been packing around a load of guilt for almost a year.
Now for the task at hand. I want to get serious about losing the rest of this weight. I don't even know how much I weigh, I've been too afraid to face the scale, even at home. My clothes still fit, but the roll around my middle feels bigger. I know I've gained a few pounds and the first step is to get back to Weight Watchers.
According to my booklet, my last official weigh in was 2/17. Five weeks ago. A lot of damage can be done in that amount of time. There's a meeting tonight at 6pm. I'll be there for my weigh in. I need to get back on top of my game. Enough screwing around, blaming my emotions and my relationships for my lackadaisical attitude towards my weight loss.
I'll report the damage tomorrow. I'm sure it'll be ugly, but that's the purpose of this blog. The good, the bad and the ugly. Such is my life.