Tuesday, March 24, 2009

My mood is almost black as the Seattle skies today

Some people will say there she goes again, the drama queen in action. Honestly, I don't want to be like this. I'd give anything to be a normal, even-keeled person, without the highs and lows that are my life. Sometimes I envy the Lexapro induced happiness of my friends. Even though I know it's an artificial state of being, I'm somewhat jealous. I'm just not sure it's worth giving up days like yesterday, when everything was great.

So what happened to my "I'm so happy to be alive" feeling I had yesterday?

  1. Yesterday afternoon I exchanged some unpleasant emails with a former friend. It left me with a very bad feeling.

  2. I had an argument with my husband almost the minute I walked in the door last night.

  3. Dinner wasn't done until 8:30pm (because of #2).

  4. I went to bed alone at 9 p.m, angry, hurt and feeling sorry for myself.

  5. I drank two glasses of wine last night and went over my Points, again.

  6. Woke up late for my workout, and was in a really foul mood.

  7. I had a lousy workout this morning, struggled to stay at it for an hour. Everything hurt.

  8. The weather sucks again today, cold, dark clouds, and windy.

  9. I have my counseling session today, and I'm dreading it. It drains me.

  10. I can't figure out how to make Microsoft Project do what I want it to do and my go to person is out for the week. Piece of crap software.

  11. I went to Trader Joe's at lunch to buy candy. Yes, I said it, CANDY! I bought fresh strawberries, Fage Greek 0% yogurt and frozen mango instead. I know this should be a good thing but the fact I even thought about buying junk bothers me. I didn't do it but scary just the same.

So that's it, nothing earth shattering happened. Just a serious of unpleasantness. I want that feeling back that I had yesterday, when life was good. I just don't know how to get there.


Fatinah said...

I would think that even just getting that all out here is a step in the right direction. You're not a drama queen. You're just a gal living life. Like the rest of us!! Hang in there!

PS: I've added your other blog to my bloglines. That is the stuff that makes weight loss a struggle, I think, so I'm going to keep reading! Plus, I have to be honest, in this day and age, whether it works out in the end for you & husband or not, it is just nice to see two people TRYING and WORKING on their relationship. So many people say f*ck it without another thought!! For that alone, you both deserve a pat on the back!

Ida said...

We all have bad days. And often things just domino on us. Here is my advice for your woes.
1. don't argue through email (or snail mail, for that matter) The major problem with the written word is that it does not easily emote your feelings.
2. ALL married couples argue. Just keep on keeping on and trying to mend your marriage. Even if it breaks, at least you tried.
3 Eating late often puts one in a bad mood. Don't let it eat on you (no pun intended)
4. A lot can be said for not going to bed angry.
5. At this point, worrying about points is pointless. Forgive yourself, and let it go. (I started to say it was moot point, but that would have been silly)
6. Waking up late will put me in a bad mood quicker than anything, I hate being rushed. I've learned to take several deep breaths and calm myself....nothing is worth the stress. Being late os tragic it's worth a heart attack
7. Maybe your body was trying to tell you that you needed to skip a day. The world would NOT end if you did.
8. you can't change the weather, so learn to find the good in even the worse weather. (ok, so that's not possible.)
9. Yes, it's hard, but is it worth it?
10. THAT is not good. Perhaps you can find another go to person? Surely there is more than one person who understands this piece of crap software...
11. SO WHAT? So you went intending to buy candy, you didn't. Don't be so hard on you! Heres a shocking piece of news for you girl, YOU ARE HUMAN, it's okay to act like one. YOU AREN'T PERFECT. Besides, perfection isn't all it's cracked up to be.
My point....CHILL, girl. Yep, lots of bad things happened, but not a single one of them killed you or put you in the hospital or maimed you for life, or killed someone else.
OK, I'll shut up now....

MizFit said...

I love the post title because I know we can all relate.

how was the rest of your day?

can you choose to have a better one today?


but today will be a better day.

It will.

antgirl said...

Been there. No matter how uncomfortable, it's worth the effort put in to improve it. Honest. Hang in there. You are working to make it better and one of these turns will prove fruitful.

bbubblyb said...

I wish I had read this yesterday it felt so like me. I get tired of the ups and downs too. But I do think it's life for most people so don't feel like you're different. I wish I could get back my weekend feelings too but I'm sure we both will eventually and hopefully not to far in the future.