Tuesday, April 21, 2009
For some reason, I felt happy today. Perhaps it's the Tussionex extended release (12 hours) cough syrup I've been taking for my bronchitis. If I don't take it, I sound like I've been smoking for the past 40 years and that I'm hacking up half a lung. If I do take it I have to pop a caffeine pill so I can keep my eyes open (and then they're very open). I've noticed it puts me in a very good mood. I call it my happy syrup (I could totally become addicted to codeine).
Or it could be I heard from an old and very dear friend today. That always brightens my spirits, to know that someone I care about was thinking of me too. Or it could be the killer workout I had this morning, or the eight hours of sleep I got last night (love telecommuting days), or that I decided I'm not going to be overly concerned about my weight anymore.
I'm not saying I'm not going to work towards losing that last 20 pounds. I am saying I'm going to be more accepting of my body. Wearing size 10's and mediums is an okay place to be. It's not perfect (size 6 would be perfect), but I can live with where I am right now. If I never lost another pound, I'd be okay.
I'm still counting Points, still working out every day, still trying to lose weight. It's just that I'm not obsessed by it like I have been for the last fourteen months. There's more to life than being totally focused on what goes in my mouth and how many Points I've consumed. Frankly my dear, it's pretty damn boring stuff.
Summer is here, 76 degrees today in Seattle, and I have great plans for the coming months. Biking, kayaking, hiking, and camping. Yes, I've agreed to hike into the back country with a backpack, stay overnight in one of those fire-fighter cabins, and sleep in a sleeping bag. Go ahead, call me crazy, but it kind of sounds like fun, like when I was a kid. Remember, I grew up in Alaska and the outdoors is kind of my thing.
I'm also getting out those two brand new bikes we bought three years ago and rode once. What the heck was that about? Time to put those babies to use.
Kayaking in the Puget Sound is totally awesome. The last time we went was about 10 years ago, then I got too fat to fit into the kayak seat. I remember the last time we went kayaking and my hips being wedged into the seat. It was so painful and really humiliating to be so fat that I didn't even fit into the kayak. I can't wait to get back out there on the water.
I'll still be posting about what I'm eating, my weigh ins and my exercise, and all that other Weight Watcher stuff. It's always going to be a huge part of my life. If I start obsessing again about what the scale says, or if I'm up a few pounds and write a freaking-out post, you guys have my permission to slap me up side the head. I need to relax a little. I need to be happy in the here and now. I need to live in the present and not the future or the past. I need today to be my happy day.