Day 3 - finding balance

This is my walk during lunch yesterday. The trailhead is about 1/2 mile from my office and ends at the water, Puget Sound, in Des Moines, WA. The total walk is almost six miles. Very steep going down, very steep back up.


My excessive exercising has to stop. The last three days I've exercised over three hours a day. Yesterday I went to the gym for an hour and a half in the morning, then walked six miles at lunch (another hour and a half). The walk was brutal. I was tired and hungry when I started. On the way back if I'd been on a road, I would have called one of my coworkers to come get me, but I was out on a trail through the woods. I had no choice except to walk the almost three miles back to my office.

As a result of all of yesterday's exercise (and the six hours the previous two days), last night I was in agony. My legs and arms ached. Even my back was hurting and it never hurts. What the hell am I doing to myself?

I'm not sure why I struggle so much with finding balance in my life. Yesterday I tried balancing on a Bosu ball, like MizFit tried recently (except I had the ball upside down, which I think is difficult). I watched a guy about my age do it while I was on the elliptical. He made it look so easy. I tried it and couldn't even stand on the thing with both feet on it and holding onto the rail of a weight machine. I was incredibly wobbly and kept falling off.

That's my life...incredibly wobbly. It's probably why in the past I've always "fallen off". Too much exercise, too much food. Too much exercise, not enough food. Not enough exercise, too much food. Most people might thing I'm nuts (and they're probably right), but I seem to have developed some sort of maniacal exercise addiction. I have a very addictive personality. It's a miracle I'm not a crackhead or an alcoholic. I just chose food as my drug. Now it's exercise.

I need to find a happy medium in my life. Be normal, like my friend Mary. I really want to be just like her when I grow up. She seems to have it all figured out.

Today I'm limiting myself to one hour of exercise. It's going to be a bike ride with my husband. That's all. No gym, no hiking, just a little bike ride. I'm already feeling the withdrawal symptoms. Yes, it's official, I'm crazy.


Ron said…
If we eat healthy,I would think an hour of exercise would be plenty each day.... I just rode the 18 mile trail in an hour and when I got done, told myself I should have ridden 27.......
bbubblyb said…
You'll figure out the right balance eventually. Being aware is a big part of figuring ourselves out.
Ida said…
A one hour bike ride with your husband? Maybe you will become addicted to being his wife. Now THAT would be an addiction you could live with. ;)
Fatinah said…
I do hope you find the balance.....
I've been riding a weight loss roller coaster for probably the past six months now and all I can tell myself now that I've started exercising regularly is that I'm not doing enough, and that's why I keep losing then gaining. Two steps forward one step back. I'm becoming a bit obsessed with it myself but I can't afford the gym. I think if I could I'd never leave the place until I was pretty well dead on the floor. I completely sympathize with you.

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