Friday, July 31, 2009

The constant battle

I feel like I'm in the fight of my life with my weight, and I'm not winning. I'm constantly worrying about what I'm eating. Am I eating too much? Did I get enough protein? Did I get in at least some of the healthy eight? Did I drink enough water? Did I lose? Did I gain? How much do I weigh? What can I do to do better? It's making me insane.

Other people that have been doing this as long as me have it all figured out. There's Mary and Lynn and Tony and TJ and many others. They all get it. They know what to do and they do it. I know what to do, and I don't do it. What is different in their brain than my brain? Why can't I do this?

If I sound exasperated and frustrated and angry with myself, well, it's because that's how I feel today. Every day I attempt to get this right and every day I fail.

My weight this morning is 163.4. Not where I want to be. Obviously, I don't have the answers. If you do, please tell me the secret. Because I sure as hell can't seem to figure it out.

8 comments:

Krista said...

I wish I had the answer but I'm still trying to figure this out as well.

Right now I'm focusing on finding balance..a balance between my eating, exercising and socializing. The socializing is a huge part of my life and therefore I just can't avoid it..but with socializing comes parties, outings, etc...which also means TEMPTATIONS.

I guess the whole point of this comment is to let you know that you aren't alone and one of these days WE will figure it out :)

spunkysuzi said...

I've been on this journey a long time and i'm still trying to figure what i'm doing. I think i know and bang something different turns up or i start to think what i could be doing better!! Don't get mad you will sort it out the way you need to.

bbubblyb said...

Diana, I think it's about balance also and I know I struggle with it too, I think most people do. I really do think it's about fixing our heads so that our bodies will follow. For me, it was also about getting rid of the stresses that I could. I also gave up the calorie counting about 4 months ago and really nothing has gotten worse. I'm actually still losing some weight and I'm definitely less stressed about food.

It's about trying to live the life we want in all areas. We have to do what will work long term for us too and of course then those rules will change with time. Life is just always changing and we just have to try our best to adjust and move on and enjoy TODAY.

I really wonder if your body doesn't likes being at 155-165 and maybe it's time to just think about maintanence. I think you look wonderful just as you are. We have to start loving our bodies today at this weight because are 10-20 more pounds going to make you any happier than you are today? That's something to think about.

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

Nobody has all the answers, because they're different for everybody. I will tell you that I think you've got to be ready, I mean really ready, for a major life change in order to be really successful on this journey. When it clicks upstairs and you commit fully, you'll find that it feels less like you're swimming upstream.

It's a tough road, and I hate that you're feeling so out of sorts with your journey. Maybe you just need to take some time and really think about what you're doing and what you really want. It's not more than is in you to do this, Diana. It's just not...

Good luck.

JSP said...

You look to those others and ask yourself what you are doing wrong. I read your blog and ask myself the same thing. You are not where you want to be, but give yourself credit for getting this far! I wish I could get that close to my goal. You look great.

Ron said...

You and me both!!!! and I havn't stepped on the scale in a couple of weeks.. I will see what the scale says tomorrow....

Ida said...

Oh, girl. You may not have it figured out, but you are SO MUCH further down the road than I am......I guess our brains are just wired different, or something. But one thing is for sure, I do NOT want my life to be spent worrying about what I do or do not eat. There is just too much living out there to be done. I may not be where I want to be, but I'm not where I was, and that is a good thing.

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

Wish I could help ya sweetie, but I'm just as lost as you are.