Monday, August 24, 2009

I blew it

I blew my 3-night binge-free streak. After a wonderful dinner of Asian Beef on skewers with Gremolata (I'll post the recipe later - it was fantastic), salad with Balsamic vinegar and olive oil dressing, and steamed Brussels sprouts (yes, I love them...I'm weird) at 5pm, I went crazy at 10pm.

I opened the freezer to have 1/2 cup sugar-free ice cream with strawberries leftover from dinner (not the fiber-filled snack I was suppose to have) and staring back at me were those evil Skinny Cow mint ice cream sandwiches. I ate all three that were left in the package. Since I figured I'd blown it anyway, I ate two Weight Watcher cookies and cream bars. I was still feeling hungry and had a bowl of Dan's Good Chili (Hungry Girl recipe but I add ground turkey and shredded broccoli to it), along with two Oroweat Sandwich Thins. I didn't calculate the Points.

I woke up with regrets, as I always do after a binge. It must be similar to how an alcoholic feels after falling off the wagon. The self-hate, the "why did I do that?!" the anger at myself. All negative, bad feelings.

My gym experience sucked big time today, as it always does if I eat too much the night before. I don't know if it's a physical thing, all that food in my system makes me sluggish, or if it's mental. Probably both. I managed 21 minutes on Sadie (StairMaster). I usually do 30, but I just couldn't do it today. 16 minutes on the Crossramp. 45 minutes upper body strength.

My morning got worse when the that guy that likes me came in and saw me on the elliptical and was all excited to see me. He said he'd been wondering what happened to me and he'd missed me. Great. I'd purposely been going really early at 5 a.m. to avoid him but today I was late and didn't get to the gym until 6:15am.

We had a six-minute conversation about spirituality and God and how to have a positive outlook on life. You can see that was a lost cause on me this morning.

I guess there's not much I can do but try again tonight to stop the binging. I have dinner out with two girlfriends at a sushi place so I won't be home until late. One of them is in Weight Watchers so I'm going with her to her meeting tonight before dinner. Maybe I can get some inspiration.

Onward and forward....


Another picture of my Fairbanks trip (with my brother and his dog Goldie). I'm somewhat mortified by my hips and thighs, they look huge. If you want to see it close up and get totally grossed out, click on the picture to enlarge it. Aother reason to stop binging. I really need to lose the last 25 pounds! By the way, those jeans went to Goodwill this weekend.


spunkysuzi said...

I love brussel sprouts too :)
No it's not just you, if i've had a binge when i go to exercise the next day it feels like the first time i've exercised in a month!!
And yep, i'm a binge eater as well. But the binges are occurring less frequently.

Roxie said...

Another brussel sprout lover here. As for the binge, well, it's over and done with. Just do the next right thing and don't PUNISH yourself over it.

Treat yourself gently and move on past this. BTW, I don't see a thing wrong with you in the Alaska pic.

big_mummy said...

i think the time has come for me to end our friendship.

signed: Brussel hater.

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

Alright sweetheart I have this crazy urge to hunt you down and take you shopping. Your hips and thighs only look huge to you, and only because of the style of jean you're wearing. I promise. Let me be your style guru and I swear you'll FEEL as smokin as you LOOK!!!!

Second...I'm so jealous of your hotness.

Anonymous said...

Hi - I thought exactlly the same thing about the jeans D. I am new to your blog and spent a few hours reading last night... you are not fat by any means - you look great - it's the jeans... the skinny jeans make skinny girls look big... if you balance your pant width leg with your hips (boot cut is great) you'll see what we're talking about. good luck tonight and i'll be watching to see how you do with the new jeans. 8-) Patty

antgirl said...

Mmmmm. Brussel sprouts.

between 5 and 10 is a long time to go without fuel. Mayhaps [feel free to reject] you could try a planned snack earlier - say at 7:30-ish or 8. That way you're heading off the hungry pangs and then are still in control? Maybe. Shrug.

I think you look fab. I see nothing wrong with your hips.

I'm in a foul mood, too. I'm a grumpy assed hormone storm. LOL

Fatinah said...

mmm, I love brussels sprouts!!

sorry to read about your binge. you'll conquer this!

can you not just go to bed earlier? you're obviously an early riser - could this be just your body reacting to too little sleep?

Ida said...

Seems to be a lot of us brussels sprouts lovers reading your blog. Only I rarely get them because hubby detests them.
Don't be too hard on yourself over the binge. Shrug it off and start from here. Next time, maybe it will be 6 days.....then 10, then 30....then......

Lia said...

Good point about too little sleep and sleeping earlier. One thing I got into the habit of, was if I felt hungry I would get into bed and try going to sleep. Works for some. One slip up. In the past. Move forward. It's all one can do anyway.

MizFit said...

too little sleep makes me (and the husband oddly enough) LOOOONG FOR SUGAR.
it gets ugly up in herre.

If i lived near you Id come over, bring a roll of butcher paper, make you draw a lifesized version of YOU, and then ID TRACE YOU and show you how WRONG YOU ARE :)

Pamela said...

I like MizFit's idea! I also agree with the others that your hips/thighs look amazing! Woman, you're hot! We just need to get you to see it.

I totally could have written this: "I woke up with regrets, as I always do after a binge. It must be similar to how an alcoholic feels after falling off the wagon. The self-hate, the "why did I do that?!" the anger at myself. All negative, bad feelings."

It's pretty much how I've felt continually for the past several weeks.
PS - add me to the small list of brussels sprouts haters. :o)