Saturday, October 31, 2009

Losing my way

I'm taking a month off from blogging. I read back through several of my recent posts (and deleted several). I was dismayed that everything was focused on work. My job has been consuming me for the last five weeks. It's all I talk or think about anymore.

I considered completely deleting my blog since no one really reads it anymore anyway, and I certainly understand why they don't. It's suppose to be a "weight loss" blog, not a "my job sucks" blog. My goal is to refocus on what's important, and take some time to think.

Someone recently commented they thought my priorities were mixed up because I had listed my job as number one, health number two, and my marriage number three. They said my marriage should be number one. Thank you Jack.

I've been thinking about this for the past two weeks and I agree my marriage should be number one in my life, or at least near the top. Without my husband I would be lost. Without my health, I'd probably be dead, and without my job...oh well, I can always find another job. :)

I found out today my sister completely lost her hearing in one ear. I love my sister to pieces and usually have two-hour phone conversations at least once a month (she lives in Alaska).

Until today I hadn't talk to her since I visited in July. She lost her hearing while I was there but we thought it was because she'd been swimming in cold water. After seeing a specialist and having an MRI she was told her hearing is completely gone in her right ear. She knew two months ago. She called once but I was on the road and never called her back.

How could I have not know this? How could I ignore my family and my husband and make my job my focus? How could have been such a idiot about life and what's really important?

This is my new priority list:

1. God, my faith
2. Marriage
3. Health
4. Friends and family
5. Job

Somehow I seem to have been lost lately. Living in a daze of airports, hotels, airplanes, and stress. I want to get my head back on straight. Live the life I want, not the one I feel forced into.

The reason for a month off from blogging is I really want to focus on what's important. I won't be reading many blogs for the next month, unless I'm in an airport or hotel with down time.

I'll be back December 1 and hopefully in a better place in my life.

169.6 <---not where I want to more ways than one.


julie said...

Diana, I have always enjoyed reading your blog, the good and the bad. I will miss you. I pray that you will have a wonderful month of putting God and your marriage as your first priorities! I look forward to hearing from you again in December. Blessings.

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

I've always read your blog, even if I haven't commented. I hope this break helps you Di, if not, we're all here for you!

Good luck!

Beth said...

I've always read your blog since I joined...though I probably haven't commented. Good luck and see you when you get back!

spunkysuzi said...

I will definitely miss you not posting! You've got to do what you've got to do. Take time to be kind to yourself. I'll be looking forward to seeing you back here again :)

Lisa said...

Good luck with everything. I care about you!

Lia said...

Well, I'm glad to hear you reassesed your priorities to increase your hapiness in life. That is what matters. Good luck with things, and I hope you are back in a better place soon :)

Deb said...

I underatand the need for a break. My job got pretty nutty there for awhile and so, in turn, did I.

I have one word for you - "boundaries". Set some. Remember your company doesn't own you. They just rent you for a limited number of hours in a day.

Take care and looking forward to seeing you back on 12/1.

Anonymous said...

Good luck with November and your new priority list! Be good to yourself!

Fatinah said...

I like your new list and I really hope you find your way. Enjoy your month away and enjoy the journey of re-connecting with the things that make life worth living! Everyone will be here when you get back!!

Best wishes

PS: really sorry 'bout your sister.

*fitcetera* said...

Take care of yourself, Diana.

Jenny S said...

Oh, I read your blog too!! Many of us do! We are going to miss you!

Your new priority list is perfect!! Mine is very similiar. God, Spouse, Children, the Home, Others/ministry in any way. By putting God and your faith first, you will build a strong foundation for all of the other things in your life to stand on. You will become strong and grounded in your faith so that when the storms come to your life and to your marriage, you will be equipped to weather them well. I will miss you while you are gone!! Truly, I will.

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

I don't remember saying that your marriage was more important than your health, but I'll stand by the more-important-than-job comment.

Take a break if you need one, Diana, but don't do it because you think nobody cares, because I don't think that's the case whatsoever.

Hope you find what it is you're searching for....

Ron said...

You have to do what you think you need to do... we will be here waiting for your return if you take a break.

Ravyn said...

Yup, we'll be here waiting to read more when you feel ready for it.

Carrieheff said...

I read your blog but just recently started to comment. There are LOTS of people pulling for you and praying for you. It's ok that you complain about "life" because it shows us that you are real. You are also a HUGE success with your weight loss and it's refreshing to read that you still struggle and that your problems don't end after you've lost some weight.
Good luck and I'm looking forward to December 1 to hear about all your progress you've made and how happy you are!