Monday, November 16, 2009

Life is for the living

I took today off from work and stayed home, alone. I'm so exhausted from lack of sleep, stress and overwhelming sadness that I couldn't stand the thought of going back to work and explaining what happened during the last two weeks.

I'm actually doing much better. I went to a 10am Weight Watcher meeting and feel like I'm back in touch with life, and back to eating healthy and exercising.

I went crazy with the eating the last two weeks. The hospital cafeteria was only open three hours a day (and the food was horrible!). The other option was Subway, which was right next to the cafeteria. We usually only ate two meals a day, and I had to force my sister to eat anything. I, on the other hand, was on some sort of feeding frenzy, eating my emotions.

I ate a lot of vending machine candy, cookies, and ice cream (Dove bars). I managed to gain 7.2 pounds since my last weighin on October 10. I'm back up to 176.4.

The WW meeting was great and I feel totally back on track. I've barely exercised in the last seven weeks due to traveling for work and being in Anchorage and Fairbanks with my sister. I used her treadmill the last two days for a couple good walks. Today I'm going to the gym for a couple hours.

Now that I'm home and really thinking about Bill (my brother-in-law), it makes me want to get healthy. Seeing him connected to 23 machines to keep him alive was a real eye opener. He was 73, which is only 19 years older than me.

Athough he'd been a smoker for 40 years, the doctors said they've seen these same type of heart problems (clogged arteries, collapsed valve) in people who had never smoked. It was a guaranteed death sentence if you were a smoker. Even though he'd quit for 12 years, the damage was done. It can still happen if you have a bad diet, don't exercise and are overweight.

Since I really want to live longer than 73, I need to get back on track and get to my goal weight. I know the holidays are coming, but I feel in control again.

Even though life sometimes is full of sadness, it's also full of joy. Life is for the living and I want to live it to it's fullest. I can't do that by being overweight and out of shape.


Krista said...

So sorry for your loss. I'm sure your BIL would want you to take something good from his passing.

Good to hear you are back on track!


Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

The 70's sure aren't looking so far off anymore, I agree. We owe it to ourselves to get the most out of our body as we can.

bbubblyb said...

Glad you're moving forward I know how tough it can be dealing with lose and sadness and not wanting to just bury yourself in food. Here's to us all living well past our 70's.

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

Happy to see you're moving forward with a new motivation, even if it is such a sad one. He's always going to be with y'all in spirit!


debby said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother-in-law.

And the doctors are right. My dad had quadruple bypass surgery at about 72 years old, and he never smoked one cigarette in his life. Just didn't take care of his body as good as he could have.