Monday, December 28, 2009

Reflecting on 2009

Today I looked at my old blog, the one on the right, titled "My old Diana's Weight Loss Journey". I don't even remember why I started a new blog in March 2009. I vaguely remember it was something to do with this guy. :)

I was in search of my 2009 goals, which I found in my January 1, 2009 post. I also found my old blog was black type on a black background which made it unreadable. No idea how that happened.

When I read through my 2009 goals I wanted to cry. My first thought was that I'm a big, fat failure. I didn't actually make any of my 2009 goals happen, and I only had four goals. Then I decided to try and look at the glass half full instead of half empty.

Some of these goals are still going to be on my 2010 list, but here's how I did for 2009. Fortunately it was a short list.

1. Get to my goal weight of 135 (28.6 pounds to go!).

~~~ This was a fail. Any way I look at it I failed. I don't even know how I can put a positive spin on this one. I was so close and then something happened. I just stopped and went the other direction. I weighed 163.6 when I posted this goal January 1, 2009. Today I weighed 175.4, a gain of 11.8 pounds in 2009. I suppose the positive is that I didn't go all the way back up to 240 pounds.

2. Maintain my 75-pound loss.

~~~See #1. Although I've managed to maintain a 64.6 pound loss, this goal wasn't met.

3. See a therapist for that nasty little compulsive overeating problem I have.

~~~I saw a therapist for three sessions. It didn't help. I suppose I didn't give it a chance, but it seemed like a total waste of time and money. I know I have issues, but seeing a therapist didn't seem to really work for me. I'm neutral on this being a failure.

4. Work on my marriage.

~~~I did and I didn't. I guess the positive on this one is I'm still married. We have our good days and our bad ones. Sometimes it seems all bad, then a glimmer of the old us shows itself and it all seems worth working on.

Well, so much for the positive spin. The only positive is that by being such a failure in 2009 I have an opportunity in 2010 to make these things happen. More to come on that later.

My workout today
Oh my gosh! I just about killed myself at the gym. I think I'm a bit of a showoff when it comes to lifting weights and I did a really foolish thing. I did all my concentrated dumbbell curls with 20-pound dumbbells (some guy was watching me), and then my overhead press with 25-pound dumbbells. I also added some new exercises today for upper body and now I can't lift my arms over my head. Ouch!

I've added a blog page on the the right, My workouts, where I'll keep track of all my workouts. I always carry a notebook with me to the gym and write them down. Now I'll transfer the information to a blog page. If anyone has any suggestions of new exercises or web sites with exercises, please let me know. I had some bookmarked on my old laptop that crashed last summer and now I can't find them. I really want to ramp up my workout routines in 2010. This is going to be my year!


Miz said...

feel free to delete this :) but here are all the vids Ive done:

some "musings" mainly workout!

this IS gonna be your year!!!

Helen said...

I believe the whole purpose of putting our goals to paper is so that we can reflect on what we excelled at and what we still need to work on. You did not fail at anything unless you've quit trying. I don't see you as a quitter.

Ella Enchanted said...

I love your positive attitude & the addition of the workout page!

bbubblyb said...

I think 2010 will be a great year for you Diane.

Tony the Pink Panda said...

I always forget about new year's resolutions because they only occur once a year. Goals I work at all year long are the ones that seem to be more successful. Good luck to you Diana!

Anonymous said...

Diana, you have come so far! Don't let the "speed bumps" of 2009 derail you.

Also, 3 sessions with a therapist, even the BEST one and the RIGHT one for you, are not nearly enough. Therapy is a long-term investment and could probably help you with both your compulsive eating AND your marriage. And a whole host of other things. I know a GREAT therapist in Seattle, so drop me a line (seattlerunnergirl @ gmail dot com) if you want his name.

Here's to a successful 2010!

antgirl said...

I think you've done amazing this year. You've learned a lot about yourself. You took on a new job that has your stress levels much higher and were able to maintain almost your entire weight loss. You fell in love with biking and seemed to quit beating yourself up so much. Those goals weren't on your list, but I think they are worth crowing about. :)

theantijared said...

That guy you were talking about at the beginning of your post is mean, but he is so damn handsome :)

2010 will be your year! Actually, today is your day!

Ida said...

Not a failure, but a plateau, 2009 was the year of the plateau. Good luck in 2010!

Paula Rodriguez said...

From the looks of it--you're doing just great. Don't be so hard on yourself. You've reached for those goals. You've worked at them... you'll get there. It's about the journey... not the destiny.

Graciela said...

I'm just wondering if your goal weight of 135 is too low. As we age (yes, we all age, damn it) our bodies change and it is difficult for most women to keep the same weight as when they were in college. Also, did you lift a lot of weights in college? If not, you may have significantly more muscle than you did then...which as you know weighs more.

I just hate to see you beat yourself up over not reaching a potentially unreasonable or unreachable goal.

You are doing so many other positive things... focus on those!

I love you Diana...I hope 2010 is the year you find peace and happiness!

Sweety On A Diet said...

I am sure if you make a list of all you did achieve in 2009 you will feel much better. Even if you didn't meet your goals, you made great progress towards them!

Amy said...

You're going to have an awesome 2010!

Ron said...

Here's to a good year in 2010. I know what I need to do... and I will keep trying one day at a time

Sandra said...

Happy New Year Diana, wishing you the best in 2010! It is going to be a fantastic year for all of us!

Steve said...

You've still come a lllooonnnggg way from where you were at the beginning, you are going to own 2010.

Have a Happy New Year!

My Big Fat Super Super Obese Blog said...

Thanks so much for posting at my blog! First, I have to say are absolute proof that it is possible to be a Hot Mama no matter what size you are...seriously :) Two, I agree that you are being too hard on yourself. You and I both know that we probably would have gained much more weight if we hadn't stuck with trying to lose it all year. My average is about a 25 lb gain per year when I'm not focused on losing weight. I'll have to weigh myself tonight, but I don't anticipate seeing a gain at all. Will I have lost my GOAL weight for 2009? Not by a loooooooooooooooooooong shot, but hey...a small loss or even a less than average gain is a win in my book. It shows that the changes we made had an IMPACT on our lives and our bodies and in the end....wasn't that our main goal? Here's hoping that you have many more successes this year :)