Sunday, January 31, 2010

The lost weekend

First and foremost, I want to thank everyone for your incredibly supportive and sweet comments on Thursday's post. I was overwhelmed by your kindness.

I was really worried about posting it, but I felt compelled to get it out in the open. Someone commented the truth shall set you free. So true.

I haven't binged once since I posted "My Secret". I haven't figured out why sharing that information made a difference, but it seems to have opened a door for me. A door that might lead me to freedom from the shackles of my food issues.
Now about my totally boring weekend....

I'm not sure where the last two days went, but I feel like I didn't even have a weekend.

Yesterday I woke up at 4am with the worst headache of my life. I rarely get headaches but this one felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer and hit me right between the eyes. I was wondering if I had a brain aneurysm or something equally fatal.

I couldn't bear to have the blinds open, a light on, or the TV. I couldn't read because it hurt too much. I took a handful of aspirin (three) and went back to sleep until 2pm. I can't remember the last time I slept that long (maybe never).

Even after I woke up at 2pm I felt like the headache was just on the verge of coming back (I still kind of feel that way). It was like my head was bruised inside, right behind my eyes.

I still managed to get to the gym by 6pm and get in an hour of cardio. That's about the only thing I accomplished Saturday, plus grocery shopping.

Today was another wasted day because my husband insisted I upgrade my laptop to Windows 7. What a fiasco that turned into (darn Microsoft and their stupid software!).

After being on the phone with four different Toshiba support techs (I was using the Toshiba upgrade CD they sent me), I finally found out that in the last two days they've been swamped with calls from people that are getting errors when upgrading to Windows 7. They thought Microsoft had sent out a Windows update that conflicted with their Toshiba Upgrade Assistant CD and it was throwing errors. Nice.

They talked me through the incompatibility issues, and after uninstalling some programs, I finally have Windows 7. They told me iTunes might not work anymore, but it does (thank God!).

All I can say is big whoop. It looks almost like Vista to me, with a couple cool new features (but totally not worth the hassle). My husband said they removed all the crappy code that was in Vista so it'll work better now. I guess the better stuff is stuff I can't see.

I went to the gym at 3pm today and did 30 minutes StairMaster and an hour of lower body strength training. Did I mention how much I hate lunges and squats?

The most exciting, yet disappointing, thing that happened this weekend is I found House Foods Tofu Shirataki noodles at my local Fred Meyers store, in the nutritional section. I was so excited because I've wanted to try these forever. Geez, I just re-read this paragraph...I get excited over tofu noodles?? I think I need to get a life.

Hungry Girl is always talking about how wonderful they are and they're super low calorie, low carb, and low fat. I'm one of those strange people that loves tuna casserole (my husband hates it, even made with real noodles). I made HG's Rockin' tuna noodle casserole with the Shirataki noodles. GROSS! Actually, super gross.

It's not that the noodles taste bad, it's the totally weird, rubbery texture of the noodles. It tastes like tuna casserole, but it doesn't "feel" like tuna casserole.

You get a huge serving for only 3 Points, but I don't know if I can ever get over the texture of the tofu noodles. It's just kind of icky.

Almost forgot, because of the headache I didn't make it to Weight Watchers on Saturday, but I weighed on my very accurate scales at home - 174.6. Up  1.6 pounds. It is what it is.

That's it, my totally boring weekend.


Kristina said...

Diana.....I just read your post from Thursday. Do me a favor and email me. Just say hello (that way I have your email address)...and then I can respond. You touched my heart and there are some things I want to say to you but dont want to do it here!

Rettakat said...

That sounds like a classic migraine... so sorry you went through that. They are the worst!

I'm glad you have felt some progress since your Secret post. I am so glad!

About "those" noodles. I was so excited to read all about them last year that I ordered a bunch of them online. Dumb mistake! I absolutely could NOT swallow them. My throat literally refused to allow passage! I gagged. And you are right... it's not the taste. It's something about the texture... like slimy worms or something. I had to just throw them out.
Now I'm more cautious about buying a bunch of something before a test run. Live and learn, huh!

tena said...

I bought some of those noodles once, and never got the courage to try them. I ended up throwing them out when they expired. They just didn't look right :)

Sorry you had such a bad headache. Migraine, no doubt. Tension will do that to you. Be good to yourself. We are only human. The key is to forgive ourselves and not keep beating ourselves up over our mistakes.

Deniz said...

Tena has it spot on - be good to yourself. We are only ever human so of course we'll make errors of judgement now and again. We cannot change the past, but we can accept it, forgive ourselves and move on. Sounds like that's where you are right now, just getting to the forgiveness part and ready to roll.

A great big hug for the journey from me. You are a wonderful lady, no-one could hate you!

Helen said...

One of the few times I'm glad I have a thyroid disorder is that it prevents me from eating tofu. When folks insist that I try it I just say, "Sorry, I can't it interacts with my meds!" I do love tuna noodle casserole though, as long as it doesn't have peas in it :-)

antgirl said...

I'm glad you're making progress. Yippee!

Has it been colder up there? Dry air? Try naturade nasal spray before bed and when you get up. It's all natural - only saline and aloe. I find it really helps. I found it at Whole Foods.

I agree on the texture of the tofu noodles. I just use pastas made from whole grains or quinoa these days. Higher in calories, but if I use sparingly, it's not such a huge deal. Most of my veals are vegetarian these days anyway, so calories from pasta are no big deal.

Ida said...

Oh, and the headache sounds like a migraine, which is not something to be ignored. If they continue, I'd suggest you see a doctor to get meds specifically for migraine. It will be worth it. Trust me, I know.

nixpix said...

Diane, we use foods for lots of things. When I recently read your blog, it almost felt like you were punishing yourself. I think recently the binges were one of two things or maybe both. They were your way of punishing you for "the secret" and at the same time the eating was going to protect you from "getting more attractive" and doing that again.....Just food for thought. I can only share that insight from my own experience. It makes total sense to me that you are not bingeing right now.

clickmom said...

I just found those noodles too! They are sitting in my fridge waiting for me to get creative with them. I might not notice the weird texture, since I am gluten free, and just the thought of a low carb noodle has me practically shaking in anticipation. I'll let you know how it tastes with pesto.

Katie said...

I just found your blog and laughed so hard at the noodle thing. A friend and I also tried those noodles and couldn't swallow them because of the disgusting texture. Glad we weren't the only ones!