Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Your Choice

I'd written a really negative post earlier today. It was titled "What happened to my happy?" I expressed my frustration with myself about my weight gain of 22 pounds.

After reading through it tonight I decided I didn't like my attitude and tone of the post. My words made me feel worse than I already do about my weight gain. I imagined someone else reading it, how they might feel. I deleted the post before it was ever published. I really want to focus on the positive, even though it's really hard at times (especially when my pants don't fit!).

Tonight is my TV night, and I'm watching The Biggest Loser. I've never actually watched an entire episode of BL. I've caught a few episodes in the past years, but it's too emotional for me. All the crying and the sad stories break my heart. No one ever says, 'gosh, I'm just thrilled I gained all this weight, my life is so much better now'.

Being overweight really does suck. It's horrible. It destroys people, mentally and physically. The good thing though, there's a cure. It's called diet and exercise. Most of us have the ability to cure our fatness. It's very hard work, probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

Continuing on a positive note, I've been wanting to post something here. It was written by someone from my work who has retired. It's applies not only to work, but also to weight loss and life in general. I especially love the last paragraph. It's so very true.

I'm not a fan of Wayne Dyer but his quotes below are pretty good. I didn't get permission to reprint this email. However, I think the author would get a kick out of it being on a weight loss blog.

Your Choice
I've noticed the Water Cooler is getting a bit philosophical these days. I think it's fine if people want to use this forum as a place to vent. The primary reason for the Water Cooler is to provide a place to anonymously ask a question. When there is a question, I will do my best to answer it.

I think all of us are vulnerable to getting 'down', perhaps some more than others. I admire the eternal optimists and I really try to be one. I vividly remember the presidential election of 1980. The year before, Jimmy Carter, who some have said was one of the smartest men to ever hold the office, gave a nationally-televised address in which he identified what he believed to be a "crisis of confidence" among the American people. This became known as his "malaise speech" and it characterized his leadership for me. His despair was contagious and it was reinforced by recent memory of the Vietnam war and by current gas lines. The year 1979 got even gloomier when Iran captured and held 52 American citizens hostage and a military action to free them ended in disaster. There was a lot of negativity in the air and of course the press seemed to be amplifying it to the maximum extent.

In 1980, President-elect Reagan, on the night of his landslide victory, met the press with a smile and his jaunty manor and when asked what he thought of the state of the nation and our future, he reply was something like "I'm confident and excited about our future". To me it was tremendously refreshing to hear leadership in a positive direction. In his inaugural address he said "facing our challenges ... does require, however, our best effort, and our willingness to believe in ourselves and to believe in our capacity to perform great deeds..." Now some have said Reagan wasn't capable of knowing how bad things really were, but I disagree. My sense was, instead of choosing despair he chose to be optimistic and to give the nation reason to feel confident. And it was contagious. There are a range of opinions about the Reagan years but even most of his harshest critics would agree that his optimism never faltered and his ability to communicate that optimism was legendary.

I don't want to sound preachy here because I sometimes need to pull myself up by my bootstraps and do an attitude check. Many years ago I heard a tape of a presentation by Wayne Dyer, the popular psychologist. One thing that stuck with me was his comment; "Our lives are a sum total of the choices we make".

Your team, this division, this company, this nation, and this world will never be perfect. You can choose to spend your time pointing that out, or you can choose to spend your time to make things better and to inspire those around you. Both choices are contagious.

Three more Dyer quotes:
Everything is perfect in the universe - even your desire to improve it.
There's nothing wrong with anger provided you use it constructively.
If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

10 comments:

Miz said...

I love the last one about changing the way we look at things.
I dont know if you skimmed the Virtual Talent Show thing we did but I stood on my head.
I do that a lot.
(for reals :))
to remind myself that when Im STUCK or MAD or FRUSTRATED merely changing how I see the world can evoke change.

sappy but true.


Miz.

Sweety On A Diet said...

I'm really good at making myself feel like a failure. BUT then I sometimes expect too much of myself and failure is inevitable. That's why I have decided to be kinder to myself this year. Start off with some basic goals and see how far I can go from there.

Helen said...

Ironic, Sean wrote about how BL is very emotional for him too. I'm going to say the same thing to you: emotions are part of the big picture. I use the pain and frustration and emotion in that show and how it makes me feel to fuel my own resolve. My silent prayer: 1. Please never let me get that big; 2. Please let me be extra nice to someone who is in that kind of pain.

I too am working on finding the positive even though lately I haven't felt like it. It's cold, I'm cranky and all I want to do is sleep. But I cannot any longer allow dark, despairing thoughts to define who I am or define who others are to me. I don't care if I have to fake it 'till I make it, this is going to be my year.

Lisa said...

That you for sharing "your choice." Please hang in there. :)

- Lisa
http://inweighovermyhead.blogspot.com/

Natalia said...

Been watching TBL since the third season. It's emotional, but always kicks butts back into gear. If you want to watch this season, you can work out in your living room for the two hours it's on.

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

Sometimes it's very very hard to find the positive. But it's always worth the work to find it when you do!

Kelly! said...

thank you for the advice! And yes i am doing it the healthy way- weight watchers and exercise! :)

big_mummy said...

Im finding it really hard to be positive myself at the moment, I need someone to show me the way! I am hoping being back online will help with that rather than turning to condensed milk/chocolate/baileys/cheese (which were all today)

clickmom said...

I like that last paragraph so much I'm going to steal it and use it.

Kelly! said...

This literally made my day. I was in the same boat earlier, i was feeling bad. though i am doing well on my exercising and eating, i did cheat a little and i was feeling bad about it. but after seeing this it made me think "yeah i slipped, but the rest of the day was amazing, i worked out, and tomorrows a new day" Thank you! and i LOVE all these quotes <3