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Showing posts from February, 2010

Weekend update

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Another headache
I can't believe I haven't posted since Thursday morning. I guess I just wasn't in the blogging mood or something. Or maybe it was the headache from hell that took me down again.

Saturday is a blur. All I remember doing is going to Weight Watchers, weighing in, sitting through the meeting with an excruciating headache, then heading home and back to bed.

Nothing can stop these headaches when they come. Aspirin, Aleve, Tylenol doesn't phase them. All I can do is curl into a fetal position in a dark, quiet room and wait it out.

Today I was fine. The headache is gone, although there's a lingering feeling of tenderness behind my eyes. Like it could come back any minute.

I don't know what's up with these headaches, but I'm getting a little concerned. That was my third one in three weeks, and sometimes during the day I have a stabbing pain on the left side of my head that lasts for just a few minutes.

I have my annual physical in two weeks, and I&#…

Tracking Thursday AND following the rules

Yesterday I ate healthy all day and tracked every bite. I wasn't paying much attention to how many points I was accumulating because my meals were what I normally eat, so I was sure it was all good.

When I got home I logged on to the online tracker to see how many Points I had left for dinner. I was shocked to see I'd already eaten 21.5 Points for my breakfast, lunch and two snacks. My max is 21 with some weeklies, depending on how hungry I am. I couldn't believe I'd eaten all my Points. I went back over every item, but it was all correct.

I evaluated what I'd eaten all day and realized I'd been adding in a few little things here and there that really added up. They seemed harmless at the time, but they're why I haven't been losing weight (and slowly gaining).

Sugar-free creamer in my coffee when I use to always drink it black. Hummus with my raw vegetables when I always ate my afternoon snack of raw vegetables plain. A few extra pieces of fruit, when I…

Tracking Wednesday

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It's almost 1pm and I've tracked my breakfast and lunch, as well as my activity in the online tracker. This is a huge improvement over every day the past week.

During the past few months there's been a direct correlation between me not tracking my food and my weight slowly going up.

Every day I make up some silly excuse of why I can't do it, the best one is that I don't have time. I'm on the computer for work a good portion of the day. It took about two minutes.

The real reason I don't want to track my food is because I know I've been going over my allotted Points every day. That makes a failure in my book.

I've made a deal with myself. Just for today, and today only, I promise I will track every bite, AND I'll eat within my Points limit. Maybe I'll make every Wednesday "Tracking Wednesday", just to see if I can do it.

A couple pictures I found on my work computer. I may have shared these last summer, I'm not sure. They'r…

Another day one or this is NOT maintenance

KCSARC
Normally I post the night before, but yesterday was kind of a horrific day for me. One of my dearest friends and I ventured out on the new light rail from the airport to downtown Seattle to attend the King County Seaxual Assault Resource Center's fundraiser breakfast.

Although it was a kick to ride the light rail and catch up with each other, the intensity of the speakers at the breakfast was difficult. It's always like this for me when I attend their functions. They have guest speakers that were raped or sexually molested as children, some are still teenagers. One of my best friend's daughters was sexually molested when she was five. We sat at their table and as I always do, I cried when I listen to the stories (as did almost everyone, even the men were wiping their eyes).

KCSARC is an amazing group of people and if  you live in the Seattle area and are looking for a great organization to donate some spare money to, this is the group. I've seen the results th…

Okay, maybe not stupid, just struggling

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Maybe I'm not totally stupid, but I swear there's something deeply wrong with me. I'm sure I could benefit from therapy or drugs or maybe both, but I'm from the old school of I can fix this myself. So far though, I'm not being very successful.

The thing that makes me kind of nuts is how hard I work out at the gym, almost every day, then I turn right around and throw away all the hard work by overeating. To make matters worse, I eat crazy stuff. Like too many strawberries or blueberries. Or a couple bowls of oatmeal with walnuts (that was last night). It's healthy stuff, but too many calories.

Maybe someday I'll figure it out, but for now I'm continuing the struggle, some days are harder than others.

Tomorrow is going to be a killer day. I have to get up at 4am, be on the road by 5am and head up to catch the light rail from the airport up to Seattle and be at the Westin Inn by 7am for a fundraiser. I get roped into this thing every year and just can&#…

I wonder why some of us figure this out, and some don't

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We went for our walk this afternoon, only three miles but the weather was perfect. The blue sky was completely cloudless, and it was 58 degrees.

Our trail is a little hilly, but we only did three miles of it (it's eight miles long). I wasn't even breathing hard on the steepest parts of the trail. My husband was having trouble. I think he's finally realizing just how out of shape he is these days. He's "only" about 50 pounds overweight, but that's still a lot of extra weight to be packing around. He's been reading books on weight loss for the first time in his life. He's determine to lose weight and get in shape. I say good for "us". I'm glad he's finally going to join me on my quest for health.

After our walk, we had a wonderful salad, made with blueberries, strawberries (the best ever strawberries) and a variety of three leaf lettuces, with six ounces of shrimp on each salad. I made a balsamic vinaigrette and it was a wonderful …

My Saturday weighin

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My weighin yesterday was 176.4. Up a couple pounds. It's okay though. I haven't been tracking and definitely eating too much healthy stuff. No junk or cake or anything that would be considered unhealthy. Just too many calories.

My exercise is back to each workout being my best workout ever. I'm crediting Women's Health "The Big Book of Exercise" for my new enthusiasm at the gym. Plus I've totally given up the treadmill. I hate it and it hates me.

Lately with the great weather we've been having in Seattle I've been walking outside every day at lunch this past week. My husband I are going for a walk in about an hour because the weather is once again totally spectacular. It's 58 and not a cloud in the sky. Did I mention it's February?!

I'm psyched up to get back to tracking and eating less. I tracked yesterday and ate 30 Points (I'm allowed 21). That's a little high but at least I tracked, and I already have 8 Activity Points in…

Great morning workout on Thursday

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I had a great workout this morning. I added four new lower body exercises from my new book. I love this new book. It not only has hundreds of great exercises, but also some really good tips. I detest lower body workout days. If I could do only upper body workouts I'd be a happy girl. Of course, it's my hips and thighs that need the most work.

I was at the gym at 5:30am and left at 7:10am. When I was driving home (about three miles), I saw something I see every day if it's daylight and not rainy or cloudy. Usually that's a rare day this time of year, but not this week (57 degrees and sunny). Every day when I see this I think I should really stop and take a picture, and every day I don't do it because I'm in a hurry. Today I took five minutes, stopped and took a couple pictures (love my new camera!).

Mt. Rainier

I've always been fascinated by contrails. Probably from growing up in Alaska in the sixties. Very few jets flew overhead and when they left a contrail …

Settling for good enough

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We all settle for things in our lives that are a little or a lot less than what we wanted or expected. If you've ever settled, it's something you've accepted as part of your life. You made the decision that it is "good enough".

That's what I've done with my weight. I've settled into this 176 range and accepted it as good enough.Yet it's a completely unacceptable weight for me. It's ridiculous that I've gained 20 pounds in the past six months. What's even more ridiculous is that I've tried to fool myself into thinking this it's okay. I use stupid logic with myself, telling myself that I'm a "little" overweight and that's okay. Most people are a little overweight.

Well, it is really isn't okay, and I'm ready to do something about it.

I complained yesterday about my exercise, that it was lackluster and boring. Last weekend I bought another strength training book. I cracked it open this morning and it…

My day and a few pictures

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My eye was back to normal by last night. I even put on some mascara and went to the gym yesterday afternoon. The magic (expensive) salve did the trick. You've got to love modern medicine is all I can say.

Not a whole lot to report today, just a hell of a day at work because I've been on call for the last six days. Being on call is the worst thing ever. I hate it. Our team of nine has over 100 applications we support. For one week every nine weeks, I have to carry the on-call phone and if there's an emergency, I get called and have thirty minutes to respond. It's a bloody nightmare when something goes down because often it affects the operation of the airline. There's always a lot of pressure to get it fixed quickly. I had three calls at home over the weekend, and by noon today I had nine new trouble tickets assigned to me. Today is my last day of being on-call for another nine weeks. It's been a tough week!

I was at the gym by 6am this morning for another lack…

A Valentine owie

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Valentine's Day from hell
Valentine's Day 2010 will go down as my worst day so far this year and probably my worst Valentine's day ever. I had some sort of allergic reaction and my right eyelid swelled up so it was almost shut. In addition, as soon as my eyelid started swelling, I started sneezing uncontrollably for about twelve hours.

I have no idea how what happened, but my eyelid felt like it had acid on it and it hurt like hell. Not to mention I looked like a one-eyed monster with a red nose. Yesterday wasn't my best day.

The only good thing that came out of this is how sweet my husband was about the whole thing. He was really concerned, and kept checking on me after I took a couple Benadryl and passed out at 3pm yesterday.

This morning when I woke, my eye was even more swollen. It wasn't just my eyelid, but the entire socket around my eye was swollen and puffy. Without me even asking him, my husband called the doctor and managed to get a 9:30am appointment fo…

Happy Valentine's Days: Kicking depression's butt

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Depression
I woke up this morning with a new attitude. I believe I'm responsible for my own happiness. I can't expect someone else to make me happy, just like someone else can't depend on me to make them happy. It comes from within, we can each control our own emotions. At least I believe that applies to most of us, but not all of us.

Some people have true depression, not just a few weeks of being in a funk, but months or years of deep sadness. They need mind-altering drugs to get through each day.

One of my nieces has been on a mixture of anti-depressants and anti-psychotics for several years. Unfortunately, her doctors have never found the magic potion to make her a happier person. Today she's a shell of the girl I knew twenty years ago. It's heart-breaking to watch, and I often wonder why she can't just "get over it", but after watching her suffer for the last sixteen years I realize she can't just shake her sadness. It has consumed her.

I, on…

Silence is not always golden

I haven't posted since Monday. That's very unusual for me. I've been posting almost daily for two years.

It wasn't because I didn't have anything to say this past week. I had a lot to say, but all of it was negative, sad, and depressing. I felt like I'd fallen into a pit of despair and self-pity. For some reason I just couldn't bring myself to share it with the world. I've never really suffered from depression for more than a day or two, then I'd always bounce back and all would be well with my world. This time it feels different.

I can't even watch the news without crying. Tonight at the gym I was on the treadmill trying to run, seeing if my knee would hold up (it did). CNN was on the TV in front of me, a special report on Haiti. Just what I didn't need to see. I was literally in tears and had to get off the treadmill and head to a different area of the gym (sans TV).

I'm short-tempered at work lately, which is totally unlike me. The …

Guess I'm not normal after all

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I had a run-in with that damn cake last night. I know I said I wasn't even interested in it yesterday, but as soon I hit "Publish Post" last night, I thought, cake...yummy. (that's not the cake, but it looked very similar)

I fought the craving until about 11:30pm then thought to hell with it, I'm having a piece of cake.

It's not the chocolate cake I'm crazy about, it's the stupid frosting. It's a vanilla butter-cream recipe I found on FoodNetwork.com (5 stars by about 57 people). It's made with 2 cups of butter, heavy whipping cream, vanilla and powdered sugar. All for just one cake. It was the best frosting I've ever eaten in my life.

The big difference between me last night and me two years ago is that I didn't eat the entire cake. Just one piece. Seriously, in the old days I would eat an entire cake in one sitting. I was kind of sick that way.

I weighed myself this morning. 176.6. Up a couple more pounds. Drat!

I may as well face it…

I know who the Saints are now

The Saints are only the greatest football team in America!

We made it home from the 5th Avenue Theater by half-time. Downtown Seattle to our house, about 24 miles, in less than 20 minutes. A record.

The last half of the game was amazing!

Speaking of football, we saw Blind Side on Saturday. I agreed to go to it because I'd messed up about the Super Bowl. Best movie ever! I'm usually not into football movies but this movie was really good.. It's a must-see. It's based on a true story which makes it even cooler. I cried a lot and laughed a lot, my requirements for a great movie. A++

My husband and I had an interesting conversation at brunch this morning (where I ordered scrambled egg whites with as little oil as possible, and sliced tomatoes). I told him I felt guilty about dinner Saturday night. I had a large piece of prime rib, a twice baked potato (with lots of cheese), Marsala mushrooms, roasted Brussels sprouts where I didn't even measure the olive oil, champag…

What is a "Weight Watcher"?

Quote from my former Weight Watcher leader:  "Just because you're in a garage doesn't mean you're a mechanic, and just because you plant your tiny hiney here doesn't make you a Weight Watcher."

I didn't make it to my meeting today. I had all kinds of good intentions, but it's my husband's birthday "weekend". Yes, we do birthday weekends. I started it a few years ago that during the weekend of your birthday, it's YOUR weekend. Whatever the birthday person wants, the birthday person gets. It's really fun on my birthday, and a hell of a lot of work on my husband's birthday!

Between preparing him breakfast fit for a king, baking his favorite cake* from scratch and taking my cat to the vet, all before 11am, I missed all the Saturday morning meetings. I even forgot to step on the scales here at home. Tomorrow, I promise tomorrow I'll weigh in here at home.

I've been really good about my eating, no junk food at all (not that…

The hard way is the easy way, the easy way is the hard way

lackadaisical

1. without interest, vigor, or determination; listless; lethargic: a lackadaisical attempt.

That pretty much describes me this week in regards to trying to lose weight. It's been a weird week. For the first time in two years I completely lost interest in tracking my food, measuring everything I ate, weighing myself every day (something I've done almost every day for two years) or even reading blogs. I certainly had no interest in posting either. I was losing interest in everything. A dangerous thing for a girl like me.

I've still worked out every day, tried to watch what I ate, even when I ate out at a pizza place and an Italian restaurant this week, but my heart just wasn't into it.

Then I watched Oprah tonight. I rarely watch Oprah but I kind of like that Dr. Oz guy. He was on tonight talking about diabetes. Scared the holy crap out of me. If you didn't see it, you need to see it. Here's a link to a clip where Dr. Oz talks for a few minutes ab…