Sunday, February 21, 2010

I wonder why some of us figure this out, and some don't

We went for our walk this afternoon, only three miles but the weather was perfect. The blue sky was completely cloudless, and it was 58 degrees.

Our trail is a little hilly, but we only did three miles of it (it's eight miles long). I wasn't even breathing hard on the steepest parts of the trail. My husband was having trouble. I think he's finally realizing just how out of shape he is these days. He's "only" about 50 pounds overweight, but that's still a lot of extra weight to be packing around. He's been reading books on weight loss for the first time in his life. He's determine to lose weight and get in shape. I say good for "us". I'm glad he's finally going to join me on my quest for health.

After our walk, we had a wonderful salad, made with blueberries, strawberries (the best ever strawberries) and a variety of three leaf lettuces, with six ounces of shrimp on each salad. I made a balsamic vinaigrette and it was a wonderful dinner.

Then I don't know what happened. I guess I always feel kind of cheated when a salad is my meal. It never feels like a real meal to me. This led to me grazing after dinner. Which resulted in going 26 Points over my target. I had the best intentions and poof!, all gone in just a couple hours.

I've been at this for a while now. February 19 was my two-year Weight Watcher anniversary. I should have this all figured out by now. I don't.

I read other blogs and so many people are doing excellent, week after week. The first seven months of doing this, I was pretty darn close to perfect. I guess that was my honeymoon phase.

The last seventeen months have been a struggle. I kind of think it's going to be like this the rest of my life. I'm never really going to figure it out. Sometimes I wonder if this means I'm just stupid. Too stupid to figure out how to make this whole thing work without it being the most difficult thing I've every done in my life. It really makes me doubt my intelligence. Others do it, why can't I?

I keep posting Mt. Rainier pictures and it's probably boring to most of you, but it's so beautiful that I just can't resist taking pictures of it. I love Mt. Rainier. Besides, there wasn't anything interesting on the trail today, besides a lot of people, which kind of annoyed me. The mountain looks so close, even when we're standing there looking at it, it's like we could reach out and touch it. It's actually about sixty miles from our house. Can you believe that sky? Seattle. February. Amazing.

14 comments:

Pamela said...

Diana, you are most definitely NOT stupid. If only this journey was solely based on the ability to know what to do - on being smart. But it's not - there's so many other things involved: emotional, physical, etc.

Your pictures are gorgeous! I love seeing them! Hopefully, I'll get to see Mt. Ranier in person some day. I'm so jealous of your weather!

Pink Panda said...

Hey, Diana. Don't call yourself stupid because you aren't. Like what Pamela said, losing weight has very little to do with knowledge because quite frankly it's pretty easy in terms of "knowing what to do". Calories in, calories out. That's it.

It's all the mental games that make it a very long and arduous process.

Miz said...

dome make me come over there, you WISEWISEWOMAN.


xo xo,
Carla

Helen said...

Not stupid (but maybe silly for calling yourself that!). I've often said weight loss is exactly like a relationship - there's the honeymoon, the midlife years and the long term (maintenance). I've been in the mid years for longer than I care to be but I REFUSE to give up or think that I won't reach my golden anniversary one day! Don't you either.

Linda said...

You changed your blog! Very nice!
I think we all go through that honeymoon phase of weight loss where we are invincible and do everything perfect and the weight just falls off and we think we will be able to do it forever and wonder why others struggle. Then we get to a place where the weight comes off a bit slower and we start to wonder why we are working so hard cause after all, we lost a lot and look pretty good now.
I'm in that place. I still need to lose a lot of weight and have already lost a lot of weight and now it seems so hard.
I try to recommit everyday. Some days are easyer than others. I have decided it will always be like that for me. But I'm not giving up.
Don't worry about posting too many Mt Ranier pics! For those of us who never see it, they are gorgeous! I've never been to the NW. Please continue to show me how beautiful it is!

Deniz said...

Stupid? You? Not even close!

Don't ever doubt your intelligence over this. It's hard, actually really, really hard, to keep going over the same old ground and dredging up a little bit of enthusiasm from somewhere to continue the weight loss/maintenance fight. Unfortunately, I guess it doesn't ever get easier, or turn into a complete walk in the park - even if some days are less hard than others.

I'm sort of in a similar place to where you seem to be right now. I've been backsliding a bit recently, dammit! Despite this, what I try to keep in mind is why I started to lose weight in the first place - it was for my health's sake. It isn't easy to keep at it, but at least I've not given up.

Neither have you - you are doing great.

Carrieheff said...

You are NOT stupid! The majority of the blogs I read are people like us who struggle with losing weight. It's NOT easy. It will always be a struggle and you will always be adjusting what you do.

You are doing great and you will have days that aren't so great. It's just the way it is. None of us are perfect and we shouldn't expect ourselves to be.

I love the pictures!!!

Lyn said...

Some of us figure it out and some don't because we are all different. Some people got fat eating too much crap, and once they figure out 'nutrition' they change it and lose. Some have to get off the couch, and that's it. Others have more complicated issues, like emoional and mental reasons they use food. I think there are very deep underlying fears in most of us, and for me, anyway, I think THAT is what has kept the weight from dropping faster.

So, I think we WILL figure it out, both of us, but it might take us longer. Just don't give up. You're a smart chick, you'll make it.

theantijared said...

I think you do not give yourself enough credit.

Kyle Gershman said...

Some of us do figure out that our continued vigil on health and fitness is truly a lifelong daily struggle. I have no doubt that an alcoholic must think about it every day to avoid drinking.

I'm comfortable with this as my reality.

Jackie C said...

Progress is a back and forth movement; it's OK, overall, you are doing great! Don't be so hard on yourself; "getting this"is not about intelligence, it's about so much more complex stuff. It's not easy, but it is do-able, and in the long haul, you are doing it.
I can't blame you for taking all of those pictures of Mt. Ranier, they are gorgeous!

seattlerunnergirl said...

Diana, if losing weight were simply a matter of intelligence, the only fat people would be stupid and I sure as heck wouldn't be fat. Neither would you. Look at what you do for work - it requires intelligence, education, training, and attention to detail. It's just not as simple as applying all of those skills to weight loss. The key, I think, is in never giving up.

And thanks for sharing the gorgeous photos of Mount Rainier - I love seeing "her" out this time of year!

antgirl said...

No, you're not stupid. I struggled, too.

You either need to a) talk yourself into how wonderful the salad is and see it as a treat and not a deprivation or b) have some sort of side with the salad that will give you that added satisfaction that you've had a full meal. Maybe a side of roasted veggies, some hummus & a baked good?

What do you end up grazing on? You could plan ahead to allow some sort of mini meal knowing you often have that reaction to salad for dinner. Maybe add more to the salad so you feel it's heartier?

You'll get it. You recognized a pattern. Now you only need work with it to keep it acceptable.

Does that make sense? It's what I do. If I consistently repeat a behavoir, I quit fighting it and started planning for it, around it.

Katie J said...

I can't top what others have said but I do like what Tony said about you not giving yourself ENOUGH credit.

Just a little crazy

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