Thursday, July 29, 2010

So how's that working out for you Diana?

I was raving to my girlfriend about God Women and Food, about how wonderful it is to not be consumed by thoughts of food. I eat when I'm hungry, which is a really new concept for me. I eat what I want, and surprisingly I don't crave sweets. I eat healthy food, and I don't weigh or measure my portions.

As I'm telling my girlfriend how great this is and how free I feel, she asked the inevitable question, so how's that working out for weight loss? The honest answer to that question is that it's not working out at all for weight loss.

I've been home for four days. I'm still on vacation if you call cleaning house, doing mounds of laundry, vet visits, and a Costco run and grocery shopping a vacation.

I've been eating pretty much when and what I want, including handfuls of Thai Curry Cashews that I discovered in the bulk foods in the "nutritional" food center at Fred Meyers. My recommendation is to stay away from those things because they are addictive (and full of calories and fat).

Here's the strange thing. My weight on Monday morning after nine days of eating out, desserts and really eating what I wanted, was 173 pounds (up seven pounds). My weight this morning is still 173.

Now that would be a wonderful thing IF I was at goal. I am NOT at my goal weight.

My conclusion is probably pretty obvious to anyone reading this. Although the theory of eating when you're hungry and eating what you want sounds really good, it's not really working out for me. I want to LOSE weight, not maintain my weight and especially not at 173.

I'm not giving up on Geneen's ideas in Women Food and God because I think they're valid and most of them can work for me, I just have to be a little more restrictive in order to lose weight. I don't plan on torturing myself with a strict 100% on plan "diet" or starving myself. I do plan on going back to counting Points, starting today.

It's also back to the gym six days a week since that seems to work out best for me. I've been going every other day this week and it makes me feel lazy and like I'm cheating. When I work out really hard I want to eat better (no cashews).

I'm on Chapter ten of Women Food and God, The GPS from the Twilight Zone. This is the chapter where she talks about The Voice. I really like this chapter so far. Here's an excerpt from pages 130-131:

The Voice feels and sounds so much like you that you believe it is you. You think you are telling yourself the truth. And you are utterly convinced that without The Voice as your conscience, your wild and unruly tendencies would run amok.

Let's take an example that probably occurs with alarming frequency, possibly many times a day. You are humming along with your morning routine when you try on an old pair of pants. Uh-oh. You can't get your right leg into the designated hole.The hole that just last year was already a size bigger than the year before. The Voice says, Look at you! You are pathetic! Your thighs are the size of the Rocky Mountains. You look down at the appendages in question. Hmm, you think, my thighs really are taking over my body, the living room, the neighborhood. The Voice says, You should be ashamed of yourself! You agree. You think, I am ashamed of myself, look how I've let myself go. The Voices says, Bad bad bad. You think, Bad thighs, Bad me.

A few minutes later you notice that you feel as if you've been vaporized. In the space that you once occupied there is a ghostly dread and a vague feeling of being needy, weak and fat. Within minutes, you've ricocheted into feeling as if your life is not worth anything.


Nothing--not one thing--has changed since earlier this morning when you felt spunky, feisty, irreverent. The objective fact is that you can't fit into your pants. The reality is that you've gained weight in the last few months. But why should gaining weight have the power to devastate every last shred of your well-being? Why can't you realize you've gained weight and make some decisions about how to proceed with some degree of wisdom and self-worth?

Sound familiar? It's like a chapter taken right out of my life that I've repeated over and over for decades. Geneen continues on with how to deal with the voice. I'm only half-way through this chapter, but so far, it's one of my favorites.


Roxie said...

I've got to get that book! Yep, sounds like my Voice. I remember being on vacation this one time and I was having a fabulous time. Laughing, joking, hiking - and then a friend snapped a picture with a digital camera and I asked to see it. I actually had a complete and total meltdown right then and there and that "hangover" lasted for the remainder of the trip. I had indeed been vaporized.

Powerful stuff. And I think your mindful eating attempt was HIGHLY successful and informative. I mean, isn't part of the concern for me would be that I would just "explode".

Also, I think it's probably more of a learning and trusting process - that perhaps with more time we could let go of more things? I don't know - I always want results nowdammit!

I'm enjoying your posts about the book - thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights.

Debbie said...

I am going to order that book.. I am also enjoying your posts about the book. Look forward to the next one.

Kyle Gershman said...

I totally see where you are coming from. I can't lose weight being an intuitive or a conscious eater...I need to obsess about it...that is just me.

I can totally see the maintenance angle, though.

I think it is just fine to be obsessed btw...nothing wrong with it at all. Let's just call it deeply committed!

Splurgie said...

From reading your blog I did buy this book and I'm just in the first few chapters. I'm actually reading it ... not just skimming it. It's hitting home with me a lot ... from one of the first women who talks about having a rough childhood to the description of most of us trying to lose the same 30 pounds again and again. I see what you're saying. If you're where you want to be (weight-wise) this book can help to prevent the big gain-back. If compulsive eating, binging and other behaviors where you "punish yourself with food," are controlled, presumably you won't gain. But first you have to get there. I guess working through her ideas will make the journey more reflective and effective. I'll keep reading!

Grace said...

So....I guess they moved the seminar to the Hilton. I like that better than the original hotel.

You are doing a real service to a lot of bloggers out there, by discussing the book in your posts. I think you are inspiring a lot of folks to check it out...and if it helps just one other person, all your effort is worth it.

ShellyD said...

Chapter 10...AMAZING!! Think I will be reading it again to fully digest it. Haven't managed to get further. I really need to to make some time this weekend and get reading.

I also want to lose weight and still have quite a lot to lose. The eating when I want and what I want does not seem to working out unless I'm doing it all wrong.

So wish I could go to a seminar but living in South Africa sorts put that in the 'out of the question' department. Maybe one day Geneen will visit us here. Enjoy the seminar.


Annie Robertson said...

Thank you so much for sharing it.
A weighing scale is a measuring instrument for determining the weight or mass . A spring scale measures weight by the distance a spring deflects under its load. A balance compares the torque on the arm due to the sample weight to the torque on the arm due to a standard reference weight using a horizontal lever. Balances are different from scales

Weighing Scales

Natalia said...

I got that free chapter and loved it! Thanks for recommending it!

Kimberly said...

As a weight-loss book junkie, I think I've taken something from every one of them. I've realized that I read them more for the inspiration than the plans. This one sounds like it works on the mind, not just the body. Those are always the ones that stick with me.

Ron said...

Only way for me to lose weight is to pic a plan and strictly stick to it..... I need to do this again real soon!

big_mummy said...

ok ok, I may just try and seek this look it out... I am intrigued if nothing else

The title of this post is a joke, there's no new me. It's just the same old me, doing the same old stuff. Just for fun, I went back...