Thursday, September 9, 2010

Stressed? Me? Maybe just a little.

Does this sound like stress?

I woke up several times last night, thinking about work. Thinking of things I needed to do at work and composing work emails in my head.

I had a nightmare where I was invisible to my husband. He kept calling my name and I was standing right in front of him. I kept saying, "can't you see me?! I'm right here!", as I waved my hands in front of him. He never did see me. I woke up crying.

I went to the gym this morning, worked out for an hour and 15 minutes. Got in my car, drove home, sat in my parked car and had a meltdown. Tears and all. Thinking about work.

I took my shower, but couldn't remember if I put conditioner on my hair, or even if I had shampooed it. I couldn't remember if I had shaved my underarms.

I couldn't remember if I gave my diabetic cat his insulin shot that morning. I pondered about it, but just could not remember. Was that last night or this morning?

As I was driving to work I glanced in the mirror at my hair. I had used hot rollers on it and I had "winglets" (thanks to these crazy layers I have now). I started laughing hysterically at how silly I looked. In my car, by myself.

At about 11am my stomach was rumbling. I suddenly remembered I didn't eat breakfast. I NEVER skip breakfast. It's the highlight of my day. How on earth could I forget breakfast?!

Yes, I'm kind of stressed out these days. I know things will eventually calm down. Things work out one way or another. Somehow. Someday.

I actually wrote the above during my 10-minute lunch break today as I shoveled lukewarm soup in my mouth. I didn't have time to head back to our lunch room and heat it a couple more minutes.

My day actually did get better. Things have a way of working out. I think I've calmed down a little and don't feel as freaked out as I did this morning.

Things aren't fabulous at work, but they're definitely better than the past week.


midlife_swimmer said...

We can become such disheveled mad scientist types when we are under stress can't we? I know I do.

Vee said...

Wow. I've had days like that but not recently. Can you take a day off at some point? Just to do nothing but sleep and child and self-care? I know you have the deadlines and such but YOU are the most important person in your life. Vee at

Helen said...

Damn! This post makes me want to check you right into a fabulous spa.

M Pax said...

Yup, you definitely need a spa day.

bbubblyb said...

Hope you have off this weekend maybe that will help destress you a little, do something fun for yourself. *hugs*

Sara said...

Poor Diana. Way to bounce back after a rough start. And for the record, I bet your "winglets" looked great, you're a beautiful woman and it'd be hard to mess that up!

I too had a bad dreaming night. Usually I know I'm stressed when I start dreaming in spreadsheets with rows of data streaming in excel like some nerd-accountant version of the Matrix. But last night I found myself dreaming about my ex and his new girlfriend. Just when I thought I was getting my feet back underneath me, my subconscious has to go all third-grader with her thumbs in her ears and tongue sticking out at me. *sigh*

Anonymous said...

Holy cow! If anyone needs a day off right now, it's most definitely you! Can you get a long weekend sometime in the near future? A pajama day would do you a load of good...

ohiofarmgirl said...

Not a single day of your life is worth what you are describing. Stress will set you up for a fall...your health will will gain weight... Start hunting a new job right away...!!!There is a better job out there. Dianntha

Ida said...

Stress will cause a lot more than memory loss, but that is a bad, bad sign. Not remembering if you gave your cat his shot? Not a good thing. I agree with ohiofarmgirl, no job is worth that. Since I am not working, there has been a lot of stress taken off me. Yes, there is stress due to the reduction in income, but it is nowhere near the stress I was under at work, and didn't even realize it! I know God knew I needed a break from it, and so He arranged me to have some (much needed) time off. I would have preferred another way, but He knows best.
Take care of YOU, because no one else is going to.

sean, the fat loss coach said...

stress accumulation mentally stops us from healthy living,i have learnt that the best approach to a quick weight loss diet [lan is to stick to your diet plan. i am a fan of lfat loss 4 idiots because it works for me

big_mummy said...

you need to take a mental health day and remember to slowwwww, breath!!

Winglet... so wanna see that