Sunday, November 7, 2010

I had a dream

It wasn't really a dream, more of a nightmare.

Since I've been sleeping a lot more lately I've started dreaming again. Unfortunately, most of my dreams haven't been pleasant. The one I had Friday night has stayed with me through the weekend. I can't seem to let it go.

Usually I dismiss dreams as just that...dreams. They don't really mean anything, just silly junk our brain comes up with while we try to sleep.

This one was different. This one is was disturbingly a reflection of my life.

I was inside of a building, standing on a very narrow ledge along a wall. The ledge was so narrow that only the balls of my feet were on the ledge and I was standing on my tiptoes. I was very high up, and there was a cement floor below me. I knew if I fell I would die.

I was facing the wall with my hands and body pressed flat against the wall. I slowly inched along the narrow ledge sideways. I kept feeling like I was going to fall. When I looked down it was a long way to the floor. I was very frightened. I didn't know how I was going to get down.

Finally, I called for my husband to quickly bring me a ladder. He came with a ladder but he held if about five feet from me. I tried to reach for the ladder but I couldn't reach it. Then I lost my balance. I fell.

I didn't die (obviously), but in my dream when I fell I grabbed onto the very narrow ledge with my fingers. Then as I was hanging from the ledge with my fingers, and my legs were dangling, I realized my feet were almost touching the floor. I could let go and I wouldn't die. I was going to be okay.

This could be a reflection of so many things in my life. My job, my marriage, my weight loss efforts. The failure at any or all of these things will not kill me. It might scare me, but I won't die.

Or the dream could have been about the guy at work that was wearing moccasins last week. He told me they were like slippers. I asked him if they had arch support and he said no. I told him that would kill my feet because I have extremely high arches and had to have arch support in my shoes. He told me I needed to practice standing on a Bosu ball with one foot, barefooted. Just stand there grabbing the ball with my foot. That it would build up my arches. I told him I always fall off of those stupid Bosu balls. Yes, I bet that's what the dream was really all about. :)


Roxie said...

Your co-worker's comments reminded me of my ex-husband. He was always telling my daughter that she could do something about her flat feet as he had his. He "practiced" holding up his arches for an hour a day and he no longer had flat feet. I would just roll my eyes, but perhaps it was true!

It always amazes me how much power I give certain things in my life. It's like you said, I almost think things will kill me. I have to remind myself, often, that it is not true.

Diana, I am wishing you a peaceful and joyous week.

Anonymous said...





Grace said...

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."

I have no idea if this actually relates to your post, but I have always liked saying it. :-)

Dreams are really funny to try and figure out. Sometimes they DO relate to our current life, and sometimes they are just off the wall. But if thinking about the dream helps you come to some realizations in your real life, that's wonderful. Keep dreaming!