Yes, she's a little bit crazy
The only thing I know is that I'm not giving up. If it's not working for me, I'll try something else and I'll keep trying different things until I get this figured out.
Now a word about therapy for people that have food issues. Obviously, I have issues. Anyone that gains 100 pounds and doesn't have a medical reason for the gain, most likely has some mental issues that contributed to the weight gain.
I remember the very first time someone told me I needed to go to therapy for my issues with food. It was in 1992, the person was my Jenny Craig "counselor". After going from 192 to 135 pounds, and still wanting to lose another ten pounds, I lost control one week and ate six bananas in one sitting. I don't know much about the program these days, but in 1992 you were only allowed one or two bananas a week, maximum.
I had a few more encounters with food similar to the banana incident over a period of several weeks. When I told my very thin Jenny Craig counselor about my binges, she was appalled. I think she'd lost 25 pounds on Jenny Craig before she was qualified to become a "counselor". She told me there wasn't anything she could do to help me, that I was wasting my money at Jenny Craig, and I needed to go into therapy.
She was right, but at this point in my life, I'm just not willing to spend the time and effort for therapy. Perhaps that's a bad idea, but it's where I am right now.
The food and exercise
Today was a very good food day. I forgot to take the leftover candy to work, but I put it in the trunk of my car tonight, and I feel safe. Crazy isn't it? That I feel "safe" from food. It's not like it's going to attack me.
My workout was great today, I love that old slider rowing machine. I did my thirty minutes on the crossramp and then fifteen minutes rowing. I found some videos on how to use the rowing machine (and if your back hurts, you're doing it wrong).
There are several great instructional videos available on YouTube. It turns out it's a good upper body workout, as well as good for your core. It's not really meant to get your heart rate up high (although it does if you do it too fast), it's more to strengthen your upper body. Who knew? I was doing it super fast to burn calories, but after watching the videos I'm going to slow it down a bit for more strengthening.
Now the crazy lady is going to bed. Tomorrow at 2am is out big software release to production. I'm not expecting good things. I hope I'm wrong.