Monday, December 20, 2010

Returning to the land of the living

The past week
It was a very bad week. My cold that started on Monday knocked me flat for almost six days. I basically became a bed person. I was living on NyQuil, and totally not paying attention to what I was eating.

Of course, I didn't see the inside of the gym or any form of exercise the entire time. Six days of no exercise. That's the longest I've gone in almost three years without getting some form of exercise.

I also had major issues with drinking water. My throat was so sore that swallowing was extremely painful. The only beverage I could drink without discomfort was hot tea.

A new week
This morning I woke up and was able to breathe, my sinus headache was gone, and my sore throat is only sore from coughing, a huge improvement. And when I cough, it doesn't feel like chunks of my lungs are being ripped out. I feel human and normal and alive. It is a wonderful feeling.

The damage from six days of not paying attention to what I was eating:  a five-pound gain. From 177 to 182. Yikes!

Today I'm back on the straight and narrow. I've eaten very healthy today, but I'm under my Points. I've had 24 Points and should have had 29 (and only two fruits). For some bizarre reason I'm just not hungry. Perhaps stuffing my face for six days has something to do with it. I don't believe in eating when you're not hungry. As someone who is always hungry, I'll take advantage of this while I can. I'm sure it won't last.

I made it to they gym this afternoon. I was really anxious to get back. It was difficult with a lot of burning in my lungs, but I managed 15 minutes on the crosstrainer for my warmup, 30 minutes on the StairMaster (which just about killed me!), and a good upper body strength workout for 40 minutes. It was hard, and it hurt, especially my lungs, but it felt great to be exercising again.

What I learned
I learned something about myself this week. For several years I've said that I could easily become one of the super obese, weighing in excess of 500 pounds and becoming a bed person. I was almost halfway there at 240 pounds.

I have major food issues, and I thought my compulsion with food could overtake me at any time. I would be one of those people that would never leave my home. I'd be in the news when I died and they had to cut down the walls of my home to get me out.

I realize these are horrible thoughts and no one in their right mind would think this could really happen to them. Whether or not I'm in my right mind is always up for debate, but I really did believe this about myself. I knew if I let my guard down, that is exactly how I'd wind up.

Today, while I was on the StairMaster and my lungs felt like they were on fire, I thought that it's probably unlikely that I will let myself get totally out of control with food for any length of time. I'm not saying that it couldn't happen, but I am saying that if it's within my power, I won't let it happen. I like feeling alive.


Ron said...

Glad you are feeling better, I too, feel that I could become very large, very fast, if I didn't watch what I eat. I guess that's why I am obsessed with this!

Heather said...

I had a very similar week. I was on nyquil... but I also was on codeine and that's a strange combination... you really lose track of time and it's hard to keep track of what you eat! I also had pleurisy so I had a ton of fluid around my lung. At one point my weight was up by 8 pounds. I freaked out. However... I went for weigh in this weekend and my leader was really supportive. It would be so easy to give up... you have to just keep moving forward when you hit these little bumps in the road. It's a marathon, not a sprint, isn't it? *hugs* Feel better!

Roxie said...

I am so glad you are feeling better. Take it easy - no one wants a relapse.

bbubblyb said...

Glad you're feeling better Diana. Sorry you had to be sick 6 days of your vacation, that stinks. Glad you made it back to the gym even if it was a tough workout. I know what you mean about prefering to feel alive. I think the weight could creep back on me a bit but I can't see ever going back to where I was, glad you relaize that too.

Vegan Chick Pea said...

Glad to hear you're feeling better. Don't forget though... tea is water, so it's good that you were getting liquids.

Even though they gain sucks, don't let it rule your mood. You gained because you were sick, weren't paying attention to food and not working out. But now you can again, and you have a good plan to lose. :)

M Pax said...

Feeling you have control is a great realization. Realizing your own power is fabulous. Glad you're feeling better.