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Showing posts from May, 2010

Weekend musings

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Who's counting Points?!
Yes! That would be ME! After two mediocre weigh-ins in a row, I decided it's seriously time to get my game on. Yesterday's weigh-in was a paltry 0.4 pound loss. I can do better than that!
Not counting my Points for two weeks resulted in a total loss of 1.2 pounds. I weigh 163.6. I've been up and down a few pounds from this for years!
Well, actually my four months of traveling last fall had me with a gain of 25 pounds, and I was up to 180.4 January 9, 2010, so in five months I've lost 17 pounds. I'm happy about that, but still, I really should be at goal. 
Exactly one year ago on May 31, 2009 I weighed in at 155.2. I honestly don't know what I've been doing the past year. Gaining, losing, gaining, losing. Semi-maintenance. Not a terrible thing, but darn it, I'm not at goal! This means I really shouldn't be in maintenance mode yet.
Big Results Require Big Changes

So this keeps popping back in my head. It's something my Weigh…

Maybe swimming isn't for me

I tried something different this morning. I did my normal cardio workout (intervals), today it was the elliptical for thirty five minutes, then a few lower body weights for about twenty minutes, then swimming again, for only twenty minutes.

The reason for only twenty minutes of swimming:  I almost drowned in five foot of water. I'm serious.

While I was in the middle of my fifth lap of doing the backstroke, I somehow flung a bunch of water up my nose as I was inhaling. I panicked, started coughing, choking, and gasping for air. I tried to stand up but couldn't touch the bottom of the pool. My mind couldn't register this because I was sure the pool was four foot, even in the deepest area. I'm 5' 6", I should have been able to stand up and touch bottom.

There were only two other people in the pool with me, swimming the lanes on each side of me. As I coughed and choked, they kept swimming. I grabbed onto the plastic rope that separates the lanes and gathered my co…

Like a fish out of water

That's how my swimming went today. You know, when a poor fish is on dry land, flopping and flipping around, gasping for air. Well, that was me, but I was in the water.

Talk about being out of my comfort zone. Now I totally remember why I quit swimming at the gym a couple years ago, it was because I'm not good at it. I tend to avoid things I'm not good at doing. I swallowed a lot of pool water the first twenty minutes as I attempted to keep my face in the water, then turn to side for air. Turns out I can't hold my breath for more than ten seconds without the fear of drowning overcoming me.

Then Mr. Olympian swimmer had to join me in the pool. I mean, it was 5:15 a.m. for heaven's sake, why wasn't he home sleeping? He was a really good swimmer and got in the lane right next to me, and he was a show off. For every lap I did, he did two. It was slightly embarrassing.

After about six laps of the pool, I finally gave in and did the backstroke. I'm pretty good a…

Ready, Set, Go Swimming!

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Tomorrow morning I'll be swimming to get in my cardio exercise. It's been at least two years since I went swimming in the pool at the gym.

In February 2008 when I started Weight Watchers and made a dedication to exercise, I would get in the pool at the gym a couple times a week, but I never felt like I was getting a good workout. After a few months I gave up swimming for the StairMaster and the elliptical for my cardio workout. I'm a nut about my heart rate, and addicted to my heart rate monitor (as well as my music).

Lately I've been feeling a little bored and tired of the elliptical, cross-ramp, StairMaster, and the hated treadmill. I'm adding in swimming to make things a little more interesting.

I have my swimsuit laid out, along with a pair of sweatpants to throw on in the morning. My swim cap, goggles, swim shoes and towel are all packed in my workout bag.

For some bizarre reason I'm a little nervous. It's totally silly, but it's been a while sinc…

A bad weighin but I deserved it

I gained 1.4 pounds this past week. My weighin was 164.0. A total loss of 75.2 in twenty-seven months. I've hit the 75-pounds lost milestone so many times, coming and going, that's it's meaningless now.

I'm still happy about the 75 pounds lost, but when am I going to lose the last 25 pounds? I should be there by now, at goal. Living my happy life.
I'm disappointed in myself. I didn't even try to stay on plan last week. The only thing I did right was exercise six days, an hour to an hour and a half each day. I didn't eat any junk or have any binges this past week, but I basically ate when I was hungry. It was healthy, nutritious food, no sugar, but I ate too much.

Unfortunately, I think it's my lot in life to be a little hungry a lot of the time. I can't eat every time I feel hungry, because I'm always a little hungry. It's just a fact of my life, and one I have to accept, hunger is and will be part of my life.

This week I'm going to try…

Lab results from the thyroid biopsy

No thyroid cancer! Woohoo!

I was pretty sure I didn't have thyroid cancer. Everything I read indicated it would be okay, 95% of these nodules are benign (but I had several), and if the thyroid is functioning properly (mine is fine) then there's even less chance of cancer.

When my doctor called today to give me the results I was a little nervous. Because I thought the technician that did my ultrasound that is deaf but sweet as can be, told me, or I thought she told me, that they would mail the results if it was good news and call me if it was bad news. So when I got the call I had a mini-panic attack and thought the call meant bad news.

It's all good and I guess I shall live a little longer. At least I don't have thyroid cancer which is definitely a good thing.

The only thing that concerns me now is seeing the endocrinologist. Since I have so many nodules on my thyroid there's some medication they want to give me to help stop them from growing and possibly shrink t…

Why I exercise

I'm just about ready to fall into bed. I've been sneezing and sniffling all night, allergies I think so I took a Benadryl. At least I'll be able to sleep. Waking up may be a different matter.

To Anonymous:  thank you so much for the book review on Insomniac by Gayle Green. I just ordered it from Amazon and can't wait to get it. Maybe it'll change my life too!

To Jenni in Seattle (Jenni's Health Journey):  I love your blog and would love to post a comment but for some reason I can't. When I click on post comments it won't let me. I hope you see this!

Why I exercise

I've been thinking about this one for a while, exactly why do I exercise almost every day? If someone asks me I give them the normal reasons, it's good for my health, it helps me lose weight and I can eat more. I feel better, my clothes fit better. All the normal reasons. I never really tell anyone the real reason I feel compelled to climb out of a warm, cozy bed every morning at 4:30am a…

Still dragging but hanging on

It's late, 10:14 p.m. as I write this post. I promised myself I'd post every day this week, like I've done for the past two years. Except for the past month, I've barely posted once a week. It's not like I'm out living a fabulous, fun-filled life, it's more like I'm just trying to stay afloat.

I continue to sleep the sleep of the damned, waking up several times during the night. I've tried all kinds of things, Ambien, Simply Sleep, meditation, quiet time before bed with Sleepytime tea, Melatonin, and sleep techniques I used when I worked a graveyard shift thirty years ago that always worked like a charm. NOTHING is working. Now it's to the point where the more I worry about it, the worse it's getting. I really don't want to go back to the doctor for a sleeping aid, but I'm not sure what else to do at this point. I just know it's kind of killing me. Everything is in shades of gray when I'm exhausted.

Even my workout this morni…

Forget low energy, I have NO energy

I'm not sure what is wrong with me today but I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep forever. I'm exhausted and that's after eight hours of sleep last night. Maybe it's the twelve and half hours of flying in the last week and a half. Seattle-Denver-Seattle, Seattle-Dallas-Seattle, almost back to back.

I just feel like my life's blood has been sucked out of  me. I managed a really good workout last night at the gym. Thirty minutes on the StairMaster and fifty minutes of heavy strength training. I'm dressed right now for the gym but just the thought of exercising is exhausting me. I'm not sure how I'm going to actually get there and do a good workout.

In addition, I'm hungry! Sometimes I just have days where all I can think about is food. Today is one of those days. It's not even lunch yet, and I'm starving.

Tired and hungry is a really bad combination for me. It makes me feel weak and really susceptible to out-of-control eating. I guess …

I'm still alive!

It was a very busy week. Last weekend we were in Denver for my niece's graduation and got home on Sunday. Driving in to work Monday morning and thinking about all the things I needed to do at work that day it hit me, I had to go to Dallas on Wednesday and return Thursday night. Somehow I had totally forgotten about this trip.

The Dallas trip turned out to be fine. I was a bit apprehensive since I was traveling with a coworker that was fairly new to my team (one year), and I barely knew him other than a few casual conversations. We got to knew each other better and he's a really great guy. I think I've found a new friend on my team. It always amazes me the experiences people have had in life and what interesting lives they've led. John was no exception and has had a very fascinating life (formerly a musician traveling with famous rock bands and now a software developer - I had no idea).

Yesterday was my fine needle aspiration on my thyroid, which is a biopsy to check …

I waited two months to see the WRONG doctor! Seriously?!

After taking a Valium, and getting myself all worked up about my thyroid biopsy, the doctor told me, "Whoops! Looks like someone made a mistake. You're not suppose to see me, you're suppose to see the doctor that does the biopsies down where they do the ultrasounds. So sorry you waited two months for me but I'm not the person you need to see."

I took the day off work, took a Valium that's still making me feel light headed and nauseous, got myself in a tizzy just by thinking about needles being stuck in my neck, and all for nothing.

My doctor screwed up. She made the appointment for me with the doctor that removes the thyroid nodules, the surgeon! They need to do a biopsy first, before anything is removed.The doctor that does the biopsies doesn't have an opening until Friday. I was very unhappy since I just wanted to get the whole thing over with. I kept my cool and only said, "no worries, mistakes happen". Inside I'm thinking, gosh you guys…

Dreading today

Today is the day I've been dreading for the last two months. A thyroid small needle aspiration biopsy will be performed on me this afternoon. Ugh!

Two months ago during my annual physical my new doctor noticed my thyroid was slightly swollen on one side. After an ultrasound, I was told my thyroid was full of "nodules". These are little growths that are very rarely cancerous (95% are benign). Just to be sure they want to stick six needles in my neck, and dig around to get samples for a biopsy.

They'll give me a local anethestic, but I'll be awake for the procedure. I'm really dreading this whole thing. I'm not really afraid of the results because I've read that thyroid cancer is very rare, but I'm afraid of the needles and the "digging around". I just have zero tolerance for pain and this sounds kind of painful to me. My breast biopsy a couple years ago hurt like heck, and this is my neck, which sounds a lot more painful to me.

I took th…

The new normal

I'm back from Denver after a very busy five days. The graduation was great, my niece gave the welcome speech, and received here Bachelors and her Masters of Business Administration. She turned 23 last week.

We spent a lot of time with my husband's family and a lot of eating out. I heard the comment several times that I look amazing (an exaggeration, but it was nice to hear), and wow, you kept off all your weight. They've watched me go up and down with my weight for the last 22 years. This is the first time they've seen me in two consecutive years where I weighed the same.

I was very picky about my food when we ate out. At the hotel breakfast buffet I'd always order a three egg white omelet with tons of vegetables and just a dash of oil.

When my sister-in-law made dinner she made sure there were plenty of things I could eat. She didn't make something extra or special, she just made sure there was salad, lots of fresh vegetables and fruit. Sometimes I could eat…

Monday night and I'm well into my week of success

A very quick post because I'm totally exhausted. Three days of tracking my food under my belt, and I feel much more in control this week.

Wednesday is a three-day trip to Denver for my niece's graduation in Boulder, Colorado. After five years of college she's graduating with her Masters in Accounting. She's only 23 and already has a job lined up. She's a very smart and pretty young woman. I remember when she was three and told me her brother was acting "dangerously". So cute and so sweet and now an adult. How time flies.

I booked us at the Doubletree in Westminster because they have a pool and a gym. I'm going to get my workouts in regardless of what's going on with the family.

Also, I had a record yesterday on the StairMaster. 142 floors in 30 minutes, a 77 steps/minute rate. Weight Watchers Activity tracker only has a 24-step and 30-step rate available for calculating your Points.

Fading fast so off to bed for me!

Another swimsuit shopping trip

Twice in one weekend I went shopping for a swimsuit. I'm truly a glutton for punishment.This time I tried on every suit that I thought might fit me, but I had a different focus today. This is not a suit that I'll wear at the beach and try to pretend I look sexy. This suit is to wear for swimming as exercise at the gym.

I only had a few requirements:

1.) cover my butt (no easy feat)
2.) cover my boobs (also difficult)
3.) straps that would stay in place while I was swimming

Speaking of boobs, I don't know what the heck happened to mine recently (and if you're a guy, sorry, probably too much information for you). When I was this weight last time (about five years ago), I wore a 38C bra. I've been wearing a 38C for the last year, but my bras didn't fit right. I was constantly fussing with them (and these were expensive bras). I finally decided it was time to get fitted for a bra, something I hadn't done in years.

A sweet, young 20-something at Victoria's …

It happened last night

After writing my post last night about how I was going to get all serious about getting to goal, I went nuts. That's the only way I can explain it.

I haven't had a binge in weeks, since I quit eating sugar about six weeks ago. It felt like a miracle, and then last night happened.

Yesterday my husband and I had an argument. It's an old battle and there are never any winners in this one. We both walk away wounded and hurt and nothing is ever resolved. It has to do with his crazy family.

Later we both said we were sorry, but as usual, the hurt words still hung between us. After these arguments it takes a while to heal and get back to normal. He went to bed early, I stayed up and watched a really bad movie, Couples Retreat. Stupid movie, don't waste your time on it. Especially don't watch it after fighting with your spouse.

That's when I lost control. I had frozen my Muscatel grapes earlier and had a cookie sheet full of them in the freezer, frozen to perfection. …

The swimsuit shopping nightmare

If you think you're looking okay in your clothes, and maybe you're not such a fat slob after all, go try on swimsuits. Holy crap! I was in tears at the end of my shopping trip today. I came home without a new swimsuit and a whole new perspective on how my body looks (and it's not good!).

I decided I want to start swimming at the gym a couple mornings a week, to kind of mix things up a bit. One of cardio rooms at my gym has windows that look down on the swimming pool. It's almost always empty at 5 a.m. I thought it would be kind of fun to try something different. Two years of StairMaster, elliptical, stationary bike, treadmill (which I loathe), and crossramp workouts are starting to bore me a little.

After trying on several suits I realized the importance of losing this last 20-30 pounds. It's time to really get off my butt and get serious about getting to goal.

My weighin today was less than stellar at 166.2. Exactly what I weighed a week ago. It's also what …