Showing posts from September, 2010

Step 1 -- Casting on for left handers or paying attention to details

After a rough start, the knitting project is going well. I came to the realization that I actually don't know how to knit. I've never knitted anything except for a few scarves and potholders, mostly when I was a kid. I tried to knit a pair of mittens a few years ago but the mitten was made for extraordinarily long hands (about two inches longer than my own hand).

My mother was very talented, she knitted sweaters, gloves, mittens, and hats. She tried to teach me but I didn't have much interest back then (about 40+ years ago...I think I was 11 or 12 at the time).

When I started my current knitting project, a simple scarf made out of this cool yarn, I had some problems.

The first step to any knitting project is casting on for the first row of stitches. For the life of me I couldn't remember how to start. I had a beginners book in my big box of yarn so I pulled it out and read this:

I still couldn't figure it out. I couldn't get that first loop to work. It seemed o…

Time to stop floating and get grounded

From Saturday's bike ride:
I wish my legs were this long and skinny!

Beautiful Mt. Rainier. Saturday was a perfect day.

I woke up in a foul mood this morning. I had the words of a two-year old I know going through my head "I don't wanna!". I really just wanted to turn off the alarm, roll over, pull the covers over my head and forget all my responsibilities in life.

Of course, I'm not two, I'm fifty-five. I learned a long time ago that some things in life just aren't optional. Like going to work. If I want a place to live and food to eat, I have to go to work.

Exercise and eating healthy are optional. As much as I'd like to claim these things are NOT optional, in reality, they are a choice. We can choose to be a couch potato and eat crap, or we can make our best effort to do what's right for our bodies.

In high school my best friend's dad would always tell us, "the hard way is the easy way and the easy way is the hard way". At the…

Returning to sanity

The last three weeks have wiped me out, mentally and physically. I almost feel like I'm in vegetative state. I feel like if I never moved from this couch for the rest of my life, I would be happy.

I'm thrilled that I'm not working this weekend, which is the first free weekend I had in four weeks. Thursday I worked almost non-stop from 9am until 4am in the morning. Thankfully these type of hours are rare, but when they happen, they're a killer.

Today I've recommitted myself to tracking my food online. I don't know why I make such a big deal about it. It's not difficult, and it only takes a few minutes. By seeing all the food I've eaten in the tracker, it makes me realize I'm not starving to death. My head may be telling me something different, but the tracker tells me something else. I realize I've had plenty to eat. It also helps keep me very aware of whether I'm following the healthy eight eating guidelines, something I've been struggli…

It's not a project, it's called life

Another incredibly long day. I think it's been about 16 hours with maybe a half hour break that I've been staring at this computer. My eyeballs feel like burned out sockets.

I managed to get in a good workout this morning and my eating has been great. Mainly because I don't really have time to think much about food. That gives you a clue as to how busy my work has been. Food is always on my mind!

I've been thinking about what I wrote yesterday, Monday. About how I couldn't handle another project right now, referring to my weight loss. The truth is that I can't look at it as a "project". That's been my problem (or part of it) my entire life. If I couldn't give it 100% of my focus I would fail. When I'm 100% on and it's my entire focal point, I'm good. When things, like life, get in my way, that's when I really have problems.

My goal this time during this work stress is to just to get through it the best I can. Get to the gym, e…

I've finally hit the wall

It's taken several weeks of long hours and little sleep, but I've finally hit the wall. I'm exhausted beyond words. I feel so tired, like I could sleep for weeks.

I got hit up today with a new requirement for what I've been working on. It's not something I can do in an hour, but will probably take a full day of heads down coding. We go to prod in a week, I wanted to yell, "You've got to be kidding!". Hopefully I live through this period of my life.

I've already decided I'm taking a week off as soon as this misery is over. I need some down time to just unwind at home. I can hardly wait. I want my life back!

Not much else to report. My eating is pretty good, but not perfect. No fast food or sugar, just too much of the good stuff. I'm not gaining weight, but holding steady at 173. That doesn't make me happy but right now I just can't deal with another project in my life.

It's a little after 8:30pm and I'm going to bed. My t…

When did I become so boring?

I wanted to post quickly to let everyone know I'm still alive and haven't given up.

Someone told me last week that they read my blog, and it's always either I'm working out or I'm having a bad day at work.

It made me reflect on how sad this little blog has become lately. No insight on life or revelations or thoughts about weight loss. Just work and gym. Gym and work.

I actually had a really fun Saturday this weekend (although I worked 12 hours Sunday...but such is life). We went to a Karala Association of Washington festival. It was their new year celebration. Karala is in India, the Southwestern portion. A coworker of my husband is from Karala and she invited us to attend. A coworker of mine is from a province near Karala so I invited him to go with us.

It was very fun. There was a lunch, made of traditional Indian food, all homemade. We ate on green waxed paper that symbolized bamboo leaves and ate with our fingers. I learned how to use my three fingers and th…

Still standing...sort of

I just logged off my work computer and yes, it's indeed 12:03 a.m. Work is the same as the last time I posted. High stress, long hours. This is just temporary and won't last much longer (and at this rate, I won't last much longer either!).

However, today I seemed to be handling it a whole lot better. I'm not sure why, although I have a theory.

Recently during this highly chaotic time I decided to start decluttering my life. Those Hoarder shows have really bothered me. Like just maybe I could become one of "those" people.

I'm not a collector of anything, at least when you first walk into my house, that's what you'd think. I hate knick knacks. I really like the whole idea of Feng Shui, or actually, just the idea of no clutter. It makes me feel better.

I think as you get older, you realize you've accumulate a whole lot of junk during your life and you don't want anymore junk. In fact, you really want to get rid of the junk you have stockpile…

Stressed? Me? Maybe just a little.

Does this sound like stress?

I woke up several times last night, thinking about work. Thinking of things I needed to do at work and composing work emails in my head.

I had a nightmare where I was invisible to my husband. He kept calling my name and I was standing right in front of him. I kept saying, "can't you see me?! I'm right here!", as I waved my hands in front of him. He never did see me. I woke up crying.

I went to the gym this morning, worked out for an hour and 15 minutes. Got in my car, drove home, sat in my parked car and had a meltdown. Tears and all. Thinking about work.

I took my shower, but couldn't remember if I put conditioner on my hair, or even if I had shampooed it. I couldn't remember if I had shaved my underarms.

I couldn't remember if I gave my diabetic cat his insulin shot that morning. I pondered about it, but just could not remember. Was that last night or this morning?

As I was driving to work I glanced in the mirror at my hair…

Diana the grouch

I'm not in a happy place today. I worked 14 hours yesterday, 7:30 a.m. - 9:30 p.m. Numerous work problems that caused hours of frustration.

We were creating software builds with code written by several developers, including our own code. The code did not play nicely during the builds. My only saving grace was another coworker was there with me for most of it. He has a great sense of humor. So we laughed a lot. Of course we cursed a lot too. Something I don't usually do.

I never made it to the gym yesterday. I barely took bathroom breaks. I don't remember drinking any water, just coffee. My lunch was some homemade soup heated in the microwave and a peach.

Dinner when I got home at 10 p.m. was a Flatout pizza with mushrooms, onions, sundried tomatoes, turkey pepperoni, and 2% cheese which melts really weird. It's like it's dry when it melts. Still really delicious and fairly low Points. I didn't bother figuring it out, but I think it's around 8 Points for t…

Monday morning...back to the salt mine

Note:  I'm working today not really because I have to, it actually is a holiday at my company. Technically I do have the day off. However, today is my code complete date for a project I've been working know, the one I've been complaining about so much lately. Alpha testing starts tomorrow with all our testers. I'm just doing some final  unit testing, hoping to get it as bug free as possible. I should have come in Saturday or Sunday instead, but I was too lazy. :)

It's 7am, and I'm in the office today. Alone. It's so quiet, peaceful. I almost wish it was like this every day. I work in a cubicle, with about sixty other people on my floor. We're the epitome of the movie Office Space.

Want to see...

That's my "I don't care what I look like" hair. I'm also wearing workout clothes so I can go the gym later. I'm going to the Bally's in Kent. I've never been there before, but it's about an 11-minute drive. It'l…

5/10ths of a pound a week

5/10ths of a pound

.5 pounds

8 ounces

1/2 pound

two cubes of butter

...per week

...for 124 weeks

...equals 62.4 pounds.

Starting weight 2/9/2010: 239.2

Current weight 9/4/2010:  175.6

If you had told me two years and seven months ago that I was going to lose .5 pounds per week, I would have run screaming from the room. I would have said NO WAY! That's too slow! I can't wait THAT long to get to goal. Why, at that rate it'll take me...doing the math quickly in my head--I want to lose 100 pounds at .5 pounds per week is 200 weeks or almost four freaking years!

Um, no thank you. I'll figure out a faster way to get to goal. Surgery? Jenny Craig...again? Nutri-System...again? Cut calories to 800 a day...again? MediFast? There has to be a FASTER way!!!

I use to read people's blogs where they would lament about being a slow loser, posting week after week a loss of 1/2 a pound or a pound. I'd feel sorry for them and be thankful it wasn't me. I could easily drop 2-3…

Today is the day I...

1. Today is the day I went back to Weight Watchers, after a three-month absence.

2. Today is the day I faced the Weight Watcher's scale and a 13-pound weight gain in three months.

3. Today is the day I acknowledged my weight is 175.8.

4. Today is the day I get serious about my health and losing weight.

5. Today is the day I start counting Points, again.

6. Today is the day I get back to tracking my food online.

7. Today is the day I follow the healthy eight eating guidelines on the Weight Watcher plan.

8. Today is the day I stop beating myself up for screwing around for the last eight months.

9. Today is the day I pat myself on the back for not gaining everything back, plus some. I acknowledge I still have a loss of 63 pounds. That's a good thing.

10. Today is the day I love myself just the way I am right now, and not wait until I weigh [fill in the blank] pounds. I forgive myself.

Here's the official weigh-in:

Usually I reward myself with a gift after I have a weight loss.…

If you see me dancing...

If you see me dancing on the cross ramp or the elliptical or the StairMaster, please do not call the paddy wagon! In spite of how it might look, I have not gone crazy. I've just figured out how to have fun while doing my cardio (that you all know I hate so much).

I finally feel like I have a handle on my workouts again. I was in a dark place for the last couple of months when it came to exercising, especially the cardio part. I know I have to do it, not just for weight loss but for my heart. Without my heart in good, working order I most likely won't live to a ripe old age. Since I'm already 55, I'd like to get at least a few more years out of this old body.

My tips....

1. BAD ATTITUDE - Lose the bad attitude. It's not going to do you one bit of good to be all grumpy faced about exercising. In fact, if you begrudging exercise day after day, hating every minute of it, one day you will probably say..."to hell with this, I'm not doing it anymore!" I kno…

Random Thoughts Wednesday

I've seen other people do this, post their random thoughts. Since my head is constantly full of random thoughts, I thought it would be fun (well, fun for me at least), to jot down some of those thoughts.

1. I can't buy a package of vanilla and strawberry Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches and eat just one. I ate six last Sunday night. 840 calories. name is Diana, and I am a food addict. By the way, have you ever seen a "skinny" cow?

2. Fitness magazine claims working out can make you hungry, which in turn can make you fat. Really? I already knew that, but exercise isn't optional. Their suggestion is to eat more whole foods, a balance of carbs and proteins, with healthy fats and fiber. Not exactly newsworthy, and I paid $3.50 for the magazine.

3. That $3.50 did buy me some other advice that I've known for years but have chosen to ignore. Until yesterday. The experts say you should eat something small before a workout. That you shouldn't workout on…