Woulda, shoulda, coulda
"For many of us, there is a clear distinction between what actually happened and what we wished would have happened in a given situation. Sometimes people realize a number of options they could have or should have taken instead of the action they actually took. This feeling of regret or second-guessing is summed up in the expression woulda coulda shoulda."
A friend of mine made a new year's resolution to stop her "woulda coulda shoulda" habit. Each time she says one of these words she has to put a quarter in a jar. She then proceeded to tell me about her vacation, and said "we should have made our reservations....". She stopped, and said "whoops! Another quarter!".
It's so easy to slip into a pattern of regret, where we wish we'd made different choices. We often criticize ourselves for making bad choices, thinking we could have, should have, done things differently. I often do this to myself, then I proceed to berate myself for the bad choices I made when I know better. Does this do me any good? Absolutely not. If anything, it perpetuates a feeling of defeat and that I'm just not good enough or smart enough to lose weight. It makes me feel weak and helpless to dwell on my failures. It serves no real purpose.
I've decided I'm done with the past. I posted recently that 2010 was a lost year. I didn't gain weight, I didn't lose weight. Now January 2011 is a lost month. I continued my no gain, no lose pattern..
It's time for me to stop looking back at my failures and time to start looking forward. I have the Big Climb in exactly seven weeks. On March 20th, I'll be climbing 1,311 stairs (69 floors). I can't cancel or just not show up for this event. I'm the team captain, and many of the team members are coworkers. As a team captain I'm required to be present. It would be not be cool of me to drop out, it's not an option.
I call 2010 my lost year, starting and ending at the same weight, 180. Now January 2011 is another lost month. Starting and ending at 180 pounds. Not exactly where I'd hope to be, but not at the 239 pounds I started at February 19, 2008.
The good news, February is notoriously my month to lose weight. I've started many successful diets in February. In fact, February 19 will mark three years of Weight Watcher meetings. I don't know why it's my month, perhaps because spring seems like it's just around the corner and spring is my season (with summer a close second). Spring means skimpier clothing, and right now, none of my size 10 summer clothing fits.
Moving forward now...