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Showing posts from February, 2011

Blue Monday

I'm not in a happy place this morning. There are many reasons:

1. Still no sign of Hank (see yesterday's post below). Each time I check the live animal traps for him (three times in the last 12 hours, I feel my heart sink. I just can't believe this dog has gone through so much, was lucky enough to get adopted by a loving family in Taiwan, then loses everyone in a house fire. Then lucky enough to get shipped to the United States so he doesn't wind up on someones dinner table in Taiwan, and gets adopted immediately here in the States. Then this happens. He's lost ten minutes after being in his new home. It just breaks my heart.

2. I had an emergency call at midnight for a work problem. After fixing it I tossed and turned for what seem like forever. I was hungry (of course). I finally got up and ate strawberries with real whip cream (in a can but it's the real stuff, not light, and I ate a lot of it). I think I finally fell asleep around 2am with the alarm going o…

Chasing Hank

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Meet Hank, a two-year old, 35-pound Formosan Mountain Dog:




I spent most of my weekend volunteering with a dog rescue group, Saving Great Animals, trying to track down Hank in my neighborhood.

This poor dog has the saddest story, but I'm praying for a happy ending. He's from Taiwan and has only been in the United States for five days. He is one of forty dogs rescued from Taiwan. Hank's breed, the Formosan Mountain dog, and the fact that he's solid black, put him at high risk to become dog meat in Taiwan. In 2004 the Taiwanese government made selling dog meat illegal, but of course, people still do it. The Formosan is a favorite, and an all black dog is considered a delicacy.

Hank was a beloved family pet in Taiwan until a recent tragedy. His family's house burned down, and all of his family died in the fire. Somehow Hank got out of the house, and was sent to the Saving Great Animals sister shelter in Taipei. They wanted to get him out of Taiwan since he's solid…

My head has been buried in the sand

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I've been really good lately about ignoring the the one thing I don't want to talk about. Recently, another blogger mentioned that you can tell when someone is doing poorly on their weight loss plan. It's when they talk about everything except their weight loss plan.

I know that blogger was talking about me (actually, I don't think they even know I exist...but still, that's me). I talk about my cat, about being sick with a cold, my toothache, and recently I've even been chatting about the weather. Really, the weather?

Sorry dear readers. To the few of you that still remain faithful, I haven't exactly been open and honest about my weight loss, or rather, my lack of weight loss.Or in reality, my weight gain. It's very apparent I've been avoiding the obvious. Even if I should happen to even mention trying to lose weight or talk about getting healthy, I quickly gloss over it  hoping you don't notice that I really haven't been into it lately.

A…

The gym and a snow day

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This will be a short post because I have a cat in my lap, with his head draped across my left arm. It's my cat Mickey (a.k.a. Mickey Mouse), a white and orangeTurkish Van. He's a cat that thinks he's a dog that's named after a rodent. Anyway, it's hard to type and keep my arm still so as not to disturb him. He looks annoyed here because I woke him up to take his picture.


My toothache finally subsided last night until 2:30 a.m. when the Vicodin wore off (it's only good for four hours). I woke up in agony. I took two more Vicodin and went back to sleep.

Since my toothache didn't come back, I made it to the gym by 6 a.m. and worked out for an hour and 45 minutes. My lungs burned so bad while I was on the StairMaster that I thought they were going to catch on fire. After my strength training I went home and was so nauseous that I threw up, and I hadn't eaten anything since the night before at about 9 p.m.. Maybe too much too soon.

Pictures through my offi…

Toothache from hell and pictures from my day

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I woke up this morning thinking I either have bronchitis or maybe pneumonia. Every time I cough, my lungs burn and hurt, and my throat is raw from all the coughing. I even thought about canceling my delivery aircraft flight but since it was very last minute, and it's considered a great opportunity and an honor, I took a shot of DayQuil and headed off to the office. I skipped the gym because just showering and getting dressed pretty much sapped all my strength.

The day was sort of fun. We took a bus from Sea-Tac up to Boeing Field. We were able to take pictures of our brand new aircraft, and we took off for an hour and a half sightseeing flight around Puget Sound landing back at Sea-Tac. It was cloudy but there were patches of open sky.

The best part of the day was when we got to 15,000 feet they let each of us take a turn sitting in the Captain's seat with our hands on the "steering wheel" (I think it's called a "yoke" but I'm not sure). Then the Ca…

Rising from the ashes

Where have I been?
I've been right here, even though I've been away from my blog for over a week. It wasn't a planned or intentional time away. It just sort of happened.

It started out with thoughts that maybe I was becoming a little too obsessive about my food and exercise. I was tired of constantly worrying about it, thinking about it, and condemning myself for my bad choices. I was even more tired of writing about it. Surely this couldn't be of any value to anyone who might read  this blog. Failure after failure. It was disheartening to say the least.

I decided to "relax" a little on the food front. That didn't mean I would go crazy, eating whatever and whenever I wanted. Instead I thought I could take a step back and try to figure out exactly what was wrong with me. Why do I have the compulsion to overeat?

I stuck with the exercise all last week, but Thursday and Friday were difficult days. I had to really push myself at the gym. When I was on the S…

First bike ride of 2011

Today was a gorgeous day in the Pacific Northwest. I pulled my bike out of the garage, dusted off the cobwebs, pumped up the flat back tire and went for my first bike ride of the year. It was sunny and 50 degrees. Gorgeous!

I forgot how much I love riding my bike. It's hard to describe flying down a hill at 25 mph and feeling completely in control, yet free as a bird at the same time. I totally love it. Of course, going back up those hills with my extra twenty pounds was horrible. I thought I was going to have a heart attack for sure, as I was panting like a dog. It was really hard!

I biked to the gym, worked out with weights, upper body for an hour and then biked home. It took me about 25 minutes each direction. Much slower than my old 20-minutes I was doing last summer.. In almost two hours I burned 699 calories (Polar heart rate monitor).

Right now I'm totally and completely exhausted.

Watching the Grammys. Worst show ever! Right now I'm watching Cee-Lo Green in a goofy fe…

Tuesday night update and Wednesday birthday cake

Last night didn't go well. After I wrote my post I felt like I was literally starving to death. Almond. Butter. I don't need to say anymore except that this morning I poured soap into the jar (what was left of it) and threw it in the trash.

Right now I feel very ill because I ate a big piece of birthday cake tonight, chocolate truffle cake and I don't even really like chocolate cake. It was my husband's birthday today. I feel really gross. Like throwing up gross. Plus I'm so thirsty I could die. I just can't get enough water to drink.

That's all. Not much else to write except I screwed up again. What else is new?

Oh yes, I should mention that work is out of control busy. I've been getting intense headaches lately. Probably because I feel like my head is spinning out of control All day long I keep telling myself to calm the hell down, but then someone else wants something else from me. Tomorrow is going to be different. Honestly. Totally different. I n…

I made it through Monday night without an incident

I managed to get through last night without any type of evening snack and no binging. It's a miracle!

Now I need another miracle! It's Tuesday night, and I'm in the same boat as I was last night, except tonight, I'm starving! Seriously, my hunger is off the charts.

My food today was sparse, but sufficient. I was in a rush to get to work for a meeting this morning so I skipped breakfast, which is something I very rarely do these days. I had a glass of non-fat milk because I read on someones blog yesterday that it was one of the best post-workout beverages. Protein and carbs in a glass.

Then off to work for back to back meetings until noon, lunch of chicken breast with two tablespoons of Stubbs barbecue sauce, leftover roasted butternut squash (yummy) and roasted Brussels sprouts (with about a teaspoon of oil). It was a wonderful and filling lunch.

Then a crazy busy afternoon at work, with no time for a snack except a few cherry tomatoes. I left work at 5:30pm to go to…

Monday, Part II - How a binge starts

My second post for today...avoiding a binge

It's 10:21 p.m. This is usually when it starts, the beginning of my nightly binge. It always starts innocently enough. Right now it's been about four hours since I ate dinner. I feel a little bit hungry. I'm not starving, I just feel like eating something. Lord knows I can't have a slight hunger pain and not take care of it immediately.

I've thought of all the things that I could eat that would be considered an acceptable snack. I've eaten 32 Points today, which is a large amount of food (I'm allowed a minimum of 29).

I've had three pieces of fruit today, two apples and a banana. I make note of this because fruit is suppose to have zero Points. However, I counted a Point for the banana. That's how I've customized the Weight Watcher plan for myself. Bananas have Points on "my" plan. I decided I needed some sort of ground rule for certain fruits. This is because I ate four bananas at one sitti…

New diets always start on Monday

And it's a Monday
I remember my old days of my dieting failures. I'd always start a diet on Monday, and often by Tuesday or Wednesday, or even sometimes by Monday night, the diet was history. It was too hard, I didn't care anymore, and I was too hungry to continue. I'd always have a plan to start fresh the following Monday.

It's Monday again, and even though I don't live by my old rules, it is a new week and a day where I can start over. Yesterday wasn't a perfect day by a long shot. I went to the gym for an hour and a half workout. Then I blew it. Why I continue this craziness is something I've yet to figure out.

When I came home, I found a bag of opened Original Bugles in my kitchen. I don't even like Bugles, and I can't remember the last last time I ate this snack food. Maybe 20+ years ago. In case you've never heard of them, they're a corn chip snack in the shape of a bugle. Salty and greasy, and really not very tasty. That didn't …

Getting my head in the game

My Weight Watcher meeting on Saturday was excellent. My leader is the best, and I never fail to learn something from her meetings. Even when I think I know it all.


She talked about the four stages of weight loss:


1. The honeymoon phase - we all know and love this phase. Several you reading this are probably in it right now. I was once there myself.

It's when it's all new and exciting. You follow the plan to the letter and the weight falls off. This is the phase where you are determined that nothing will lead you astray. You're tracking your food, drinking your water, taking your vitamins, and following the healthy eating guidelines. You are perfect and nothing will keep you from reaching your goal.


2. The honesty phase - this is the loser reality check. Is this worth it? Is all the hard work, the deprivation, the exercise, is it all really worth it? You either decide it is worth it and continue, or you decide it's not worth it and stop. This is the phase where a lot of peo…

Slip slidin' away

As soon as I posted last Tuesday that I was good at consistently exercising, I hit a brick wall. Suddenly, I didn't want to exercise anymore. The last five days have been a struggle, and one I didn't want to share with the world.

Not only was I struggling with food, which I've come to accept, but I felt myself slipping when it came to exercising. I woke up Wednesday and thought I really didn't feel like working out, so I didn't. I skipped the gym. Thursday was a huge struggle, but I forced myself to go. Friday I skipped the gym again. I didn't even walk at lunch or do the stairs this past week. This isn't my normal routine. It's almost as if patting myself on the back for doing a good job at something, somehow sabotaged myself.

I still managed to work out five times last week, for a minimum of an hour to an hour and a half each time. I suppose to most people that sounds like success, but because it was such an unusual struggle  for me, I tend to think…

There's one thing I'm really good at

I've been focusing a lot on the negative aspects of my weight loss journey. I often talk about the things I don't do right. It's a never-ending list. I don't always track my food, I eat too much, sometimes I eat things I shouldn't. I don't do this right and I don't do that right. Blah. Blah. Blah.

However, in spite of all the things I don't do right, there's one thing I excel at doing  when it comes to a healthy lifestyle and that's exercise.

I'm fifty-five years old and throughout my life I've had phases of exercise craziness. I would pick some exercise, such as high-impact aerobics, in my twenties when all my girlfriends were doing it. Or running because I thought that was what all the cool people did and it burned the most calories. Or or weight lifting when I worked at the police department with all the buff police officers and the department had it's own gym. Or whatever exercise struck my fancy, and I'd go full throttle wi…