Blue Monday

I'm not in a happy place this morning. There are many reasons:

1. Still no sign of Hank (see yesterday's post below). Each time I check the live animal traps for him (three times in the last 12 hours, I feel my heart sink. I just can't believe this dog has gone through so much, was lucky enough to get adopted by a loving family in Taiwan, then loses everyone in a house fire. Then lucky enough to get shipped to the United States so he doesn't wind up on someones dinner table in Taiwan, and gets adopted immediately here in the States. Then this happens. He's lost ten minutes after being in his new home. It just breaks my heart.

2. I had an emergency call at midnight for a work problem. After fixing it I tossed and turned for what seem like forever. I was hungry (of course). I finally got up and ate strawberries with real whip cream (in a can but it's the real stuff, not light, and I ate a lot of it). I think I finally fell asleep around 2am with the alarm going off at 4:30am. I had to check Hank's traps at 5am then go to the gym. Of course the traps were empty.

3. My gym workout was lackluster to say the least. Probably because I'm so tired. I used the five-minute rule six times while I was on the Crossramp. Seriously, every five minutes I'd tell myself just five more minutes then I can leave. It was the longest 30 minutes of my life. Afterwards I did upper body weights which normally I love. I didn't seem to have any strength. It's like someone pulled the plug on my energy. After only four exercises (3 sets each), I gave up. Normally I do a minimum of six different exercises, three sets each. I just didn't have it in me this morning.

4. I have my performance review today at work It's not something I'm looking forward to. Especially because I'm so tired, and I never take constructive criticism well even under the best of circumstances. Given how I feel right now I'll probably wind up in tears.

5. It's snowing giant snowflakes right now. Thirty-five degrees with gray skies. Normally I love snow, but it makes me sad to think of poor Hank out there, alone, cold, hungry and scared.

I know all this will pass and everything will be okay. No one is going to give up on Hank. I probably won't get fired from my job. So I had a bad workout this morning, it happens.

I'm sure tomorrow will be a better day (heck, can't get much worse than how I feel right now).

Comments

Dawn said…
I'm sorry Hank hasn't turned up yet...poor Hank, I hope he finds shelter soon.
I'm with you on work performance reviews...hate them, hate criticism all the time but if I'm tired and low, even less pleasant.
Hope it goes well. try to listen and believe the good comments as readily as any 'suggestions'
Dawn
June said…
I'm praying for Hank's safety and his return. It's terrifying not knowing where they are when they run away. It's happened to me with two of my beloved cats. You are a loving, kind and caring soul to not give up on the search for him. I'm hoping and praying that he's found shelter somewhere, inside from the cold, which could be the very reason you've not been able to locate him...yet. And don't be so hard on yourself, my friend, in regards to the job...the gym...the weight loss. Be kind to yourself, okay? Lots of love to you and sweet Hank.
Grace said…
I'm so sorry about Hank! I just know with all the caring folks like you looking for him, he will be found.

Sorry you're feeling so down and tired. Take care of yourself so you don't get sick again.
You are so incredibly dedicated...

Hope tomorrow's better.
MizFit said…
echoing allll the sentiments above and hoping today is a better one for all of us

xo

Carla

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