I've been really good lately about ignoring the the one thing I don't want to talk about. Recently, another blogger mentioned that you can tell when someone is doing poorly on their weight loss plan. It's when they talk about everything except their weight loss plan.
I know that blogger was talking about me (actually, I don't think they even know I exist...but still, that's me). I talk about my cat, about being sick with a cold, my toothache, and recently I've even been chatting about the weather. Really, the weather?
Sorry dear readers. To the few of you that still remain faithful, I haven't exactly been open and honest about my weight loss, or rather, my lack of weight loss.Or in reality, my weight gain. It's very apparent I've been avoiding the obvious. Even if I should happen to even mention trying to lose weight or talk about getting healthy, I quickly gloss over it hoping you don't notice that I really haven't been into it lately.
About that blogger I mentioned above, they were right in their analysis. The weight loss hasn't been going well for me. I have a lot of reasons, or rather excuses. They really aren't even worth mentioning, but here they are: I've been sick, I'm tired all the time, it's cold outside, I've lost desire, I don't care anymore, my work is stressful (some things never change), or, and you've got to love this one because it's my favorite...I just don't feel like it.
Time for what? It's time that I do something about this very unfortunate situation I've put myself in. I have to lose weight. I have to stop talking about it and do it.
I just counted the days until the Seattle Big Climb. My heart sank when I realized I only have 24 DAYS before I have to climb 69 floors. There are 20 people on my Big Climb team. I am the team captain. One of the people on my team is the president of my company. I've heard he's a very nice person. Although we've met a few times, he doesn't know me, but he knows the person we're honoring with our climb. The president went to high school with one of the guys on my team (on my work team and my Big Climb team). They're good friends.
So it's not like I can say I'm not doing this thing. That's not even within the realm of possibilities. I have to go, put on my cheerleader hat and literally, take one for the team. Or in this case, take 1,311 stair steps for the team. Really though, this isn't about me. It's about raising money for research for leukemia and other blood cancers. Reading this guy's blog reminded me once again of why I'm doing this (it's not for me or about me, it's for a greater good).
About my weight gain
I weighed two days ago at home, no clothes, in the morning before breakfast. I was HORRIFIED to see 183.4 on the scales. I practically ran screaming from the room. How on earth did I let this happen? And now, of all times, with a very difficult, physical challenge facing me on March 20. I don't know. I just know it happened. Excuses are acceptable, and none would help at this point anyway.
Setting a goal with fierce resolve
I have exactly 24 DAYS until B.C. DAY (Big Climb Day = March 20). I can either throw in the towel and say there's nothing I can accomplish in that short amount of time, or I can give it 110% of my effort. I'm choosing the last one. I'm going for it. I know I can at least make a dent in the damage I've done.
My goal is pretty aggressive, but here it is:
Fierce resolve is a desirable quality in an employee. It's referring to intense professional will. It's something that's encourage where I work. Why can't I apply this concept to weight loss? What if I have fierce resolve to lose this weight? An intense will to lose weight. Imagine what I could do with this. I had it at one time, then I quietly and conveniently let it slip away from me.
It's really easier to not have fierce resolve about weight loss. Fierce resolve is hard work, especially for someone like myself, that has struggled with my weight my entire adult entire life.
I was reading about fierce resolve on the internet, and came across an interesting article. I borrowed this paragraph from the article:
Reality can and does bend at our will. This is where the phrase fierce resolve clarifies itself. When you are firmly decided upon a goal, you cultivate the resolution to achieve. You don't do this half-hearted.
My head is out of the sand.