Thursday, February 24, 2011

My head has been buried in the sand

I've been really good lately about ignoring the the one thing I don't want to talk about. Recently, another blogger mentioned that you can tell when someone is doing poorly on their weight loss plan. It's when they talk about everything except their weight loss plan.

I know that blogger was talking about me (actually, I don't think they even know I exist...but still, that's me). I talk about my cat, about being sick with a cold, my toothache, and recently I've even been chatting about the weather. Really, the weather?

Sorry dear readers. To the few of you that still remain faithful, I haven't exactly been open and honest about my weight loss, or rather, my lack of weight loss.Or in reality, my weight gain. It's very apparent I've been avoiding the obvious. Even if I should happen to even mention trying to lose weight or talk about getting healthy, I quickly gloss over it  hoping you don't notice that I really haven't been into it lately.

About that blogger I mentioned above, they were right in their analysis. The weight loss hasn't been going well for me. I have a lot of reasons, or rather excuses. They really aren't even worth mentioning, but here they are: I've been sick, I'm tired all the time, it's cold outside, I've lost desire, I don't care anymore, my work is stressful (some things never change), or, and you've got to love this one because it's my favorite...I just don't feel like it.

It's time
Time for what? It's time that I do something about this very unfortunate situation I've put myself in. I have to lose weight. I have to stop talking about it and do it.

I just counted the days until the Seattle Big Climb. My heart sank when I realized I only have 24 DAYS before I have to climb 69 floors. There are 20 people on my Big Climb team. I am the team captain. One of the people on my team is the president of my company. I've heard he's a very nice person. Although we've met a few times, he doesn't know me, but he knows the person we're honoring with our climb. The president went to high school with one of the guys on my team (on my work team and my Big Climb team). They're good friends.

So it's not like I can say I'm not doing this thing. That's not even within the realm of possibilities. I have to go, put on my cheerleader hat and literally, take one for the team. Or in this case, take 1,311 stair steps for the team. Really though, this isn't about me. It's about raising money for research for leukemia and other blood cancers. Reading this guy's blog reminded me once again of why I'm doing this (it's not for me or about me, it's for a greater good).

About my weight gain
I weighed two days ago at home, no clothes, in the morning before breakfast. I was HORRIFIED to see 183.4 on the scales. I practically ran screaming from the room. How on earth did I let this happen? And now, of all times, with a very difficult, physical challenge facing me on March 20. I don't know. I just know it happened. Excuses are acceptable, and none would help at this point anyway.

Setting a goal with fierce resolve
I have exactly 24 DAYS until B.C. DAY (Big Climb Day = March 20). I can either throw in the towel and say there's nothing I can accomplish in that short amount of time, or I can give it 110% of my effort. I'm choosing the last one. I'm going for it. I know I can at least make a dent in the damage I've done.

My goal is pretty aggressive, but here it is:

Ten pounds in 24 days

Fierce resolve is a desirable quality in an employee. It's referring to intense professional will. It's something that's encourage where I work. Why can't I apply this concept to weight loss? What if I have fierce resolve to lose this weight? An intense will to lose weight. Imagine what I could do with this. I had it at one time, then I quietly and conveniently let it slip away from me.

It's really easier to not have fierce resolve about weight loss. Fierce resolve is hard work, especially for someone like myself, that has struggled with my weight my entire adult entire life.

I was reading about fierce resolve on the internet, and came across an interesting article. I borrowed this paragraph from the article:

Reality can and does bend at our will. This is where the phrase fierce resolve clarifies itself. When you are firmly decided upon a goal, you cultivate the resolution to achieve. You don't do this half-hearted.

My head is out of the sand.


Dawn said...

You can do've done this, you know you can, we know you can.
You don't have to face 10lb in 24 days yet. You only have to face doing the very best you can Then repeat, tomorrow.
When the going gets tough, just do your very best with the day you have and slowly the days add up.
Take care, willing you on!

Helen said...

Assuming you have no medical issues and put your nose to the grindstone, I'm sure you can drop the 10 pounds. It will be about discipline, that's for sure.

I am going to disagree a little bit though... I don't necessarily believe that because someone isn't talking about their diet plan that they are failing in some way. At times, I find myself so consumed with weight and food, I just need a break from concentrating on it all the time. So I stop talking about it. Doesn't mean I'm not addressing it privately, or even that I'm doing poorly. It just means I'm not talking about it on the blog.

kristi said...

You can do it!!!

Tena said...

Repeating what the others have said - You Can Do It! I'm with you, cause I've dropped the ball and let time slip away and now I'm facing a trip in about 30 days that I fully intended to lose a few for.

My head is out of the sand, too! Let's get to it!

Alan (Pounds Off Playoff) said...

Hey, the team you've assembled is awesome, 20 people...including the president? Wow. I want to thank you - I wouldn't have done this if you didn't blog about it. Honestly, while it's been great for my personal growth (and toning and cardio), I really haven't lost weight during the training, either. Don't get down on yourself and thanks for being the reason that at least 21 people are doing the climb and raising money for LLS.

Carrieheff said...

Your "loyal readers" read your blog because we care about you whether you are doing good or not. We want to cheer you on when you are doing well and we want to lend an "eye" (get it reading.... eyes??) when you aren't doing so well. It's also a comfort to know that you are a "real person" who struggles just like the rest of us.

I know you can do whatever you put your mind to. You've done it before and you can do it again.

bbubblyb said...

Diana you know I love you and I read your blog because of EVERYTHING you write about. I enjoy hearing about your whole life. Really our weight is just a by product of other things going on in our life and I know you know that. So I say stop focusing on that scale and just walk those stairs and feel strong and good about what you are doing for the cause you're doing it for and for the team you are leading. You'll be a great team captain, I know you will make it a great experience for everyone involved. Just have fun and enjoy yourself these next 24 days is my advice. *hugs* my friend.

Splurgie said...

This was an important post for me to read. I also gained back some weight. I'm annoyed with myself but I don't intend to give up. I admire your honesty with the struggle. It does make me wonder why people (not just women) who are disciplined and driven in other areas of their lives, struggle to find the resolve to lose weight and keep it off. I wish I knew.

Grace said...

I'm sure you can do 10 lbs in 24 days, please just don't overdo it or make yourself sick in the process. That would be bad! :-(

I don't know if you read my last post about my hub having surgery on March 8. Even though I will be busy taking care of him the first week, I still think I will be able to get together for lunch with you and Roxie the next week (maybe on Tuesday, the 15th?).