Going to hell in a handbasket
I had been blogging for months about how poorly I'm doing with trying to lose weight. Same shit, different day. I know it must be boring to read, and it sure is boring to write about too.
I was called this at 3:40 a.m. today with a severity one work issue. Sev 1's mean it has to be resolved within 30 minutes or a conference phone bridge is opened, and managers and directors from several areas of IT get on the bridge. It's not at all fun. In fact, it's downright stressful to the bone. Especially when you're the one in the hot seat trying to resolve the problem. In the past two weeks, I've had five Sev 1 calls, and several sev 2's (almost as bad, but not quite). That's unheard of, but it happened. The problem this morning turned out to belong to another team. Thank you Jesus. Really, I mean it.
About the diet and exercise, well, since I haven't been blogging it should be obvious that it's not going well. In fact, it's going horrible. Each day I get up with new resolve, and each day I fail. A lot of my problems are coming from work. I have added responsibilities since two people left our team (without added pay, I might add). The responsibilities aren't temporary until more people are hired, they are permanent (did I mention no additional pay). It adds a whole new layer of stress at my work, and I see it coming out in my eating and exercise habits.
I don't have time for snacks at work. I barely have time for lunch and definitely no time for a walk at lunch. I'm so exhausted that my six days of working out have fallen to three. I haven't tracked my food, although I try to eat healthy most of the time, I'm still eating too much. I have eaten candy and cookies in the last week, which is something new for me. In the past three and half years my binge foods have been chicken breasts or too much fruit or something else relatively healthy.
The only thing that might save me is I have vacation starting Thursday. I'm going to Fairbanks to see my sister (and the rest of the family, but mainly my sister). My niece (my brother's daughter) and her family are flying up from New Jersey on July 4. I haven't seen her in over twenty years. Long story about my brother's first marriage, and now his daughter wants to reconnect with the family. I've talked to her and her husband on the phone several times in the past two weeks, and I'm really looking forward to seeing her and meeting her husband and 10-year old daughter in person.
I spent a lot of time one summer in 1974 with her mother (my brother's first wife and his best one...he's on #3 now) while my brother was working up on the North Slope in Alaska (trans-Alaska pipeline days). We had a blast together that summer. Tammy, my niece, sounds exactly like her mother.
Anyway, the good thing about the trip is binge eating isn't an option at my sister's house. Plus it'll be a distraction from work, which I desperately need. I'll be gone for twelve days. Woohoo!
In the meantime, starting today, I'm going to get back on the straight and narrow. It's 4:40am and I'm going to get off the computer and get dressed for the gym, and be there when they open at 5am.
Today I'm going to drink all my water, even if that means I'll have to go to the bathroom a lot. I've even stopped drinking water because I don't have time. Wow, that sounds really crazy and insane when I write it. Too busy to drink water? This has got to stop. Now. Here. Today. I have to come first, the job has to come second.
Last thing, I haven't weighed in days. That's never a good sign. I'll get on the scales this morning, and document my weight. I'm pretty sure it's up since my size 16's felt snug yesterday. A sure sign things are amiss.
Tonight, I'll make time to read some blogs. That's another thing I stopped doing. Another sure sign things are going to hell.
New day, new attitude. I'm not going down without a fight. :)