Thursday, June 9, 2011

There is light at the end of this dark tunnel

For the first time in weeks I woke up feeling like life is good. I'm not dreading going to work. I'm looking forward to heading off to the gym in a few minutes. Even though the sky here in the Northwest is dark, there's a promise of "sun breaks" today (a popular Northwest phrase that  means it might rain, but we might get to see the sun too). I feel...well, happy. For the first time in what feels like forever.

We had a new guy start on Tuesday. I'm mentoring him. I'll admit that I was dreading this task. This was going to be the third person I've mentored in the last five months. It's a challenge to mentor someone, and one of my mentors didn't turn out well.

This guy is great. He's easy going, funny, laughs at my jokes and he's super smart (much smarter than myself, but that's not really saying much). It's only been two days, but so far, so good. I have high hopes this one will work out.

I've eased up on myself about the weight thing. I went through a bad few days that included sugary, junk foods. Something I haven't indulged in for quite a while. Thankfully that only lasted a few days, and I've been back to healthy eating for several days now. Although the scale isn't going down, I'm hanging steady at 188.

I decided to give myself a break and stop beating myself up so much for my 30-pound weight gain. Yes, it's horrible, but it's not the end of the world. It's just something I have to deal with, and recently I just couldn't deal with it and my work situation too. 

Now that I've calmed down a bit about work, I feel able to tackle my weight problem. Number one is back to Weight Watchers and back to tracking. I haven't done either for over a month. My best friend has dropped out of Weight Watchers. She just gave up after months of not really trying. I've had months of not really trying too, but I refuse to give up.

Number two, back to reading my favorite blogs and commenting. I've been reading a lot of your blogs, but I wouldn't comment a lot of the times because I felt empty inside. It's hard to encourage someone else when I was feeling hopeless myself.

I'm finally seeing the light again.


Brooke said...

There is this constant ebb and flow we deal with. I know I'm going to have hard days - but I also know the good ones are around the corner. As always, you are one of my favorites. I'm right there with you and cheering you on!

Roxie said...

So glad to hear you are feeling better! I do remember the "sun breaks". Come to Texas, we are hoping for "breaks from the sun".

bbubblyb said...

So glad you're feeling better. I've missed your posts. Glad you like your new guy too that hopefully will make work nicer for you too.

Dawn said...

Oh do keep going, I realise 30lb isn't where you want to be but I've followed your blog since I was a size 28 and despaired of ever being a reasonable size and to see people just like you get there kept me going ( not that I've got there yet!) Doesn't matter that there are ups and downs along the way, but the fact you DO make it will be wonderful and not only for you, but for us too.

Ron said...

About two years ago I was down to around 170 pounds, three weeks ago I was back up to 200, so I am in the same boat, I did weigh in around 193 this morning so it looks like its going the right direction... hang in there, and just keep working at it... I keep thinking if I keep trying I am going to get this figured out..

jsh said...

Glad to see you're feeling better.... I've been having a rough time too but have finally turned the corner...
the main thing is to not give up... we will get there if we keep on going.... YAY for you!

Alan (Pounds Off Playoff) said...

There's not much I can add to the encouragement above, but I just wanted to check in and say I'm glad you're back and feeling better.

Deniz said...

Glad to hear things are looking better for you. Keep with that 'can do' attitude as you are and the gain will turn to loss in a flash.

Life can be a bit of a roller-coaster but I have no doubt that you'll win out in the end.