Saturday, September 10, 2011

That's what I was going to say...why I may never reach goal

Do you ever have a post idea rolling around in your head, then you read almost exactly what you were thinking on one of your favorite blogs?

After three and a half years of blogging that's happened to me a few times. Sometimes I even write my post then find a similar one written by someone else. Then I wonder 'Did I read it and think it was my idea when I actually plagiarized it?'.

This time I'm pretty sure I hadn't read this before. It's a topic that people don't talk about. I was going to write the post a couple days ago, but then I read Helen's post on Doing a 180, "I don't have what it takes" on Wednesday. There were my very thoughts written in Helen's words. She was openly honest about her thoughts that she may never reach her fitness and weight goals.

My title was going to be "Why I'll never reach goal". What I was going to write was very similar to what Helen wrote. Basically, I'm not sure I have it in me to get to my goal weight of 135 pounds.

You can read Helen's post to know how I feel, with the exception of the thyroid problem, the rest of it is very similar to my own story. Except I've been on a diet since I was thirteen years old and wanted to lose five pounds to get down to 120.

The only difference between when I was 13 and then in my fifties is that the amount of weight I wanted to lose has changed. When I was 52 I needed to lose 100 pounds. That means I've either been on a diet or thinking I should be on a diet for about 43 years. Or a lifestyle change, thank you Weight Watchers for that little gem.

It doesn't mean I'm giving up or that I'll stop exercising and trying to eat right. It just means I'm rethinking trying to reach a weight I was in high school. Maybe that's not realistic. Maybe weighing 150 at 56 years old wouldn't be such a bad thing. It's something I need to seriously consider.

I still need to lose 31 pounds to get to 150, but I was 152 two years ago so I know it's possible.

I haven't seen 135 since 1997 with the help of Phen-Fen (a weight loss drug that works, but kills). I was literally starving myself to death (800 calories a day and not hungry). I was doing high impact aerobics five days a week and I was a vegetarian. I lost 107 pounds in seven months, from 237 to 124. I was almost dead and looked awful (my hair was very thin from the sudden weight loss), but I was wearing size six jeans, which are still in the back of my closet.

My point is that I'm not giving up on getting healthy, but I might be giving up on weighing 135.  Kind of what Helen said.


Dawn said...

I'm not sure I read this the way you do. i see what you are saying about not reaching that goal. It doesn't sound like a reasonable goal. It certainly doesn't sound like a healthy goal nor an appropriate goal. Do I think you will get to goal and succeed...YES I do, I believe in you. I think today you have moved your thinking to a better, achievable realistic goal. You will get to goal. x

Helen said...

Well, you know I identify. I do believe that our goals need to change as we age. I have some 'older' friends who have lost weight back down to what they weighed in their 20s or 30s and honestly they look terrible - and they look a lot older than I do. I'm not justifying plumpness but I will say that I think it's more than OK to weigh a little more as you age as long as you are living healthfully. In any case, it never hurts to evaluate and re-evaluate our goals!

Ida said...

I think you have just made a great, huge step forward. It takes a lot to realize that, at our age (don't you hate that term?, anyway, we have to realize that it isn't healthy to weigh the same as an 18 year old. Good luck on your new goal.