Can it really get any worse?
Friday was a horrific day. We moved my sister to the assisted living home for hospice care. Even though I had explained to her several times that she was moving so her daughter (the insane one) would come visit her, at the last minute my sister decided she didn't want to go. It was beyond horrible. The crying and moaning tore my heart into pieces.
After she was moved by ambulance she became non-communicative.She didn't want anything to do with any of us. She fell asleep or pretended to fall asleep. My crazy niece came by for five minutes and then left.
Crazy niece didn't even visit yesterday. I was there all day and had a great visit with my sister for several hours. My other niece who is now seriously depressed only stayed a few hours. She was diagnosed as clinically depressed for the past 17 years and is on a multitude of drugs, bipolar,anti-anxiety, anti-psychotic and several anti-depressants. She's a sweet girl (well, 46 year old woman), but she's not much fun to hang out with. My brother came by a couple of times, bringing me his laptop and a giant TV for our sister's room. He's a laugh a minute so he hung out with us for a few hours.
My sister napped off and on, but was awake most of the time I was there, from 9am to 7:30pm with a break when I went out to lunch and Walmart (yuk!) for some nails to hang pictures. She told me which pictures to hang and where. Her wedding picture made her cry and cry. It was so sad I thought I was going to die. She started talking very sweetly to the picture, and touching her husband's face in the picture, and cried. I told her it was okay to cry. It was just me and crying wasn't a bad thing. I couldn't understand her words but I think she was saying how much she missed him and loved him. I told her I knew she missed her husband of 51 years, and I told her how lucky she was to have been treated like a princess for all those years. We both cried and I held her.
We had a lot of laughs yesterday too. I was trying to adjust her pillows and was having a heck of a time getting them in the position she wanted without pulling her hair. I told I was sorry I was Nurse Ratchet from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest but I was never trained in pillow fluffing. She yelled out "Ouch!", then laughed and laughed. She still has her sense of humor.
It was a really great day with her. The people that work at the home are really nice and the owner that lives there is amazing and a great help in helping me accept this situation.
Unfortunately my crazy niece called me when I got back to the hotel. She wants to get a morphine patch put on her mother so she'll be basically unconscious. My sister has sublingual morphine drops for pain, which work fine when she needs them. She doesn't need a patch with constant morphine.
My niece got hysterical when I told her that her mother was drinking a lot of water. No food, but water. My niece insisted I was pouring it down her throat or holding the glass. I'm not, my sister holds the glass and drinks it.
The conversation went really bad when I lost my temper over the morphine patch and then Linda said she couldn't visit because she "has three young boys" to take care of. I've heard this excuse thousands of times in the last four weeks. The "young" boys are 16, 14 and 9 and she has a husband that's perfectly capable of caring for them. For the very first time in four weeks I completely lost it and called her a stupid, crazy bitch, and I was sick to death of hearing about her "three f--king boys". Yes, not my finest moment but honest to God, I've had it with this woman. She may be my niece, but when this is over if I never hear her whiny voice or see her ugly, angry face again, I will be happy.
I just want my sister's final days to be peaceful and comfortable. I want her to laugh and not be afraid and worried. Water is part of comfort care. My niece wants to withhold water, but fortunately it's in my sister's living trust to provide sustenance such as water and bread for comfort, just no feeding tubes. The morphine patch is ridiculous. She doesn't need it.
I've blocked my crazy niece's phone numbers from my cell phone (there's an app that does that). If she visits her mother today (highly unlikely), I'll leave until she's gone. My hotel is two blocks from the home, so not a problem to just leave for a while. I know if she does visit it'll only be for a few minutes. Without me there for her to attack, it'll be better for everyone. Luckily for me her reputation is well known. I talked to Adult Protection Services yesterday and they knew all about the crazy niece. They work with the local hospital and had already received phone calls about my niece.
Did I mention during the four days I was in Seattle she went to the hospital business office demanding to see someone in charge? No one was available so she laid her body down on the floor, blocking the entrance into the business office. She was physically carried out by security. Just one of her many crazy stunts these last four weeks, documented by the hospital and the police.
My husband is flying up today. When I broke down a couple night's ago after a crazy niece encounter and couldn't stop crying so I could even talk to him, he said he'd fly up. I can't wait to see him.
I'm sure today is going to be a better day. I'll avoid crazy niece, and I get to see my husband. And I still get to make my sister laugh.