Monday, January 23, 2012

Having a very bad day

I've been on an emotional downward spiral all day today. After a 15-minute phone conversation with my craziest niece this morning about her mother (my sister) while on my way to work, I came into my office shaking, my heart pounding and very close to bursting into tears. It was a horrible conversation with a crazy person, and not a good way to start my day.

I feel like my heart has been ripped out and stomped on. Even as I write this ten hours after the conversation, I can feel the pain like a knife in my chest.

I won't rehash all the evil things she said to me, but I have retained a local attorney to help me stop her from ever contacting me again. It's a sad situation and a path I didn't want to go down, but my mental health is too important to me to keep living with this kind of insanity.

I really want my old life back. I didn't know how good I had it, when life was simple and my biggest concerns were exercising and losing weight. I'm trying to make the best of things, but the sadness is overwhelming me.


8 comments:

Roxie said...

Diana, I am so sorry that you are having to go through this with your niece. Setting a boundary to protect yourself is such a smart thing to do. And you are dealing with so much - family illness on a variety of levels. It might be worth considering talking to a professional just to help support yourself through this. It is a lot for one person to try to shoulder alone. Wishing you peace.

Lethal Astronaut said...

I'm so sorry you're going through a horrible time. I hope everything works out.

Beth said...

Diana, I feel just terrible about what you are going through. I agree with Roxie about finding a professional to talk to. It can be such a relief to unload on someone who has no stake in what's happening.

Deniz said...

Oh Diana, it sounds like you could indeed do with a helping hand or a friendly shoulder. Roxie's suggestion is a good one and might help you deal with what is a very difficult situation without the emotional cost to you escalating.
A Zen hug doesn't do much to help you (a proper one would be much better), but know that my support and the support of others is here for you.

Diandra said...

I am sorry it doesn'T seem to be getting better on that front. Cut her out of your life. Being family does not mean you have to "fix" anything for her. Both you and your sister will probably be better off without her.

Helen said...

So sorry this is happening. Do set any boundaries you need - legal and otherwise. I'm not sure why it can be so hard with families but your mental health and well being are most important of all.

Karen said...

Do you have an Employee Assistance Program through work? I utilized my EAP when my daughter was a teenager and it really helped.

I follow you anonomously - I don't have a blog. I rarely comment on anyone's blog. You have such strength and love for your sister - I admire you.

Kyle Gershman said...

Wow...I can't even imagine...please take care of yourself.

Just a little crazy

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