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Showing posts from March, 2012

My body has been trying to tell me something

My body has been screaming at me for several weeks that something is wrong. I would not listen, so it did something to make me pay attention. In hindsight, this is kind of funny.

A little over three weeks ago my body attacked itself. At the time, I thought it was some strange allergic reaction. I had no idea what made this happen and had never had anything like this happen before.

I was sitting at my desk at work, 4:30pm on a Friday afternoon about three and a half weeks ago. I hadn't eaten anything since noon, and only had water to drink . Suddenly I had a tingling in my upper lip, on the inside, right in the middle of the lip. It was a sensation I'd never experienced before. My lip started to swell up, very quickly, but only on the upper left side. Then the hives started on my upper chest. Terrible welts appeared and they itched like crazy. I looked like a freak.

I went home and took Benadryl. I just thought it was an allergic reaction. I must have touched something at work…

I continue to struggle

A favorite blogger of mine has been writing posts recently that I could have written myself during the past few weeks. It's odd because over the past four years of blogging, Lyn and I are often on the same phase of weight loss or weight gain at the same time, weighing the same weight.

I sure don't have any solutions for our situation. I just know that losing weight is hard. Keeping the weight off is harder.

My weight last Friday was 196. I have no idea what I weigh right now because I didn't step on the scale over the weekend or today. I just can't bear to see it.

Life is a struggle for me lately, in all areas.

Work - I'm on a project with a tight deadline. I had to move out of my cubicle into an area where the team can work together, along with the project manager making sure we're staying on track. I've never worked on such an intense project. A lot of it is new for me, with a huge learning curve. It means long hours and short lunches. It's a lot of…

Getting back on track is harder than I remember

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My weight this morning was 192.6. It's continues to be a struggle to eat healthy, but I haven't purchased any junk food for over a week. I'm good if the food isn't in the house, and the way to keep it out of the house is don't buy it in the first place. I might overeat fruit or have a bigger piece of chicken than I know I should have (if I'm not weighing it you can bet I'm eating too much), but that's not as horrible as trying to eat an entire cake in one sitting.

Somehow, and I'm not sure how it started, I'd be at the store buying healthy food and decide I needed a "little" treat. I deserved it. Life was hard, I wanted, no...I NEEDED a treat. The treat went from one candy bar to an entire cake, then to a shopping cart full of junk food. Wow. How did that happen? I honestly don't know, I let my guard down a few times and boom! I'm back to old eating habits of four years ago.

I feel more in control. I'm eating better and I …

I am okay.

It's amazing what a good night's sleep can do for one's psyche. The weekend was difficult, with very little sleep because I was worried...about everything! I hate it when I get like that, focusing on every bad thing in my life (and that's a lot right now!).

I slept a solid eight hours last night and although nothing changed during the night, I feel like my old self this morning. Yes, I still have a lot on my shoulders, but I think I can handle it.

The affairs of my sister will calm down eventually. She had a very complicated life when she had her stroke and it's taking a long time to sort through this stuff and get it all straightened out. It's been six months, and I see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. I think by the end of this summer I should have most things wrapped up.

Enough about sister, how about me? First of all, I love you guys. I figured I'd post and not hear a word from anyone. I was gone a whole month! Instead, I got a lot of swee…

Am I okay?

Am I okay? That's a hard to question to answer. I guess you'd have to define "okay".

Life is hard. Lately, my life has been harder than it should be, or at least, harder than I'm use to experiencing.

Since my last post:

I thought my sweet 8-year old kitty, Tommy, a gorgeous black and white short hair, was battling a bad case of pneumonia for the last three months. After five vets and many office visits and tests, two weeks ago he was diagnosed with Stage V Lymphoma. The fifth vet I took him to finally figure why all the antibiotics weren't working for the pneumonia. He told me Tommy only had a few days left. Within twelve hours Tommy had a seizure at 3am as I was petting him. I had to take him to the emergency vet in the middle of night and say my final goodbyes to him. It was horrible.

Last week I was granted permanent guardianship for my sister by the state of Alaska. Sounds like a good thing, right? My sister consumes me. Trying to take care of her financi…