Monday, March 19, 2012

I continue to struggle

A favorite blogger of mine has been writing posts recently that I could have written myself during the past few weeks. It's odd because over the past four years of blogging, Lyn and I are often on the same phase of weight loss or weight gain at the same time, weighing the same weight.

I sure don't have any solutions for our situation. I just know that losing weight is hard. Keeping the weight off is harder.

My weight last Friday was 196. I have no idea what I weigh right now because I didn't step on the scale over the weekend or today. I just can't bear to see it.

Life is a struggle for me lately, in all areas.

Work - I'm on a project with a tight deadline. I had to move out of my cubicle into an area where the team can work together, along with the project manager making sure we're staying on track. I've never worked on such an intense project. A lot of it is new for me, with a huge learning curve. It means long hours and short lunches. It's a lot of pressure.

My sister - I don't really need to say a whole lot here because I've said it all before. Being a guardian is a lot of work, and it's job that never stops. My sister had a complicated life. Now it's my complicated life.

My marriage - continues to be hard work. I often wonder, is every marriage this much work? Is it worth it? I've been married 24 years and this isn't the first time I've had this thought.

Then there's the diet and exercise plan that have literally been placed on the back burner of my life. Now I understand when people say they are too busy to count calories or go to the gym or track their food. I feel like I'm on the run all the time. It's a constant barrage of things that need to be done.

I am last on my list, but really, it can't be any other way right now.

Well, this is one depressing post, isn't it? I know lots of people have stress-filled, difficult and complicated lives. I'm just not use to it, and I'm not handling it well.

I had big plans to take a yin yoga/meditation class last week, but I didn't have time. Seems to be my theme lately, I just don't have time.

I'm really tired right now, so I probably shouldn't even post this tonight. I just re-read it and it sounds horrible. A real woe-is-me post, but if I wait until I'm in a happier, better frame of mind before I post, I may just never post again.

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