Worth the fight
Actually, I know the answer to that last question. I wasn't the legal guardian for my sister that had a debilitating stroke six months ago. She left behind a very complicated, messy financial situation that I'm still trying to sort through and take care of things. The dust will settle eventually, but I can't wait for that day. It's that old story, if I don't take care of myself, how can I make sure she's taken care of?
Tracking my food isn't really that terrible or difficult. I use the BodyMedia software, which I highly recommend. They've even enhanced it since I used it several months ago. You can customize the table by selecting ten nutrients to dispaly from a list of 26. I love this feature.
Below is my food for today. It's certainly far from perfect, but it's an improvement over the past weeks and months. There's too much processed food, and wine for 211 calories? What was I thinking?! When I was eating the food, I thought I was being healthy. I had no idea that some of what I was eating was a really poor choice. The total calories aren't too bad, 1541, but I really need to watch the fat and sodium (processed food).
I didn't wake up early enough for the gym this morning. I only had 45 minutes to spare before I had to get ready for work. That's not enough time to get to the gym and complete a decent workout. Instead, even though it was pouring down rain, I convinced my husband to go for a walk with me. He's not a very fast walker so it wasn't my normal heart-pumping workout, but it was kind of fun. We were both drenched by the time we got home.
As I was getting ready for work I broke out in hives and my upper lip, left side, started to swell up. This is the sixth time this has happened in the past two months (sometimes it's the left side for the lip and hives, sometimes the right side). This time it didn't last long and was mostly gone by the time I got to work. It seems like each time it's less severe than the last time. Still, it's very disturbing. I feel like my body is attacking me.
On that note, I should mention the life coach/therapist I was seeing. I quit after three sessions. As much as everyone thinks I need some sort of therapy, it's just not for me. Even though I was an acquaintance with this person and really like her, I didn't feel like it was helping me. The first session I was excited and it was fun, the second session, not so much, the third session I walked out knowing I'd never go back.
I know this is going to get easier. I've been here before. Several times I've lost and gained weight. This time just seems harder than all the other times before, and I don't know why. What I do know is that it's not optional. This weight is killing me, and I'm worth the fight.
An afterthought: I just remembered my phone has the BodyMedia app on it. I conveniently forgot. That should make tracking my food a lot easier!