Maybe it's because I'm out of tears that have been shed over other things, or maybe it's because I know this is temporary, and I can and will lose the weight, but I'm not terribly upset with myself. It's more like, oh well, shit happens. I gained ten pounds in twelve days.
So here it is, available for public viewing, my weighin this morning, at home, buck naked, before breakfast or coffee:
I knew it was going to be bad. In fact, I shut my eyes before I looked down at the scale and tried to guess my weight. You're not going to believe this but I guessed exactly correct. I guessed 188.0 and that's exactly the number I saw on the scale. Weird.
The last time I stepped on the scales was January 12, that's only twelve days ago when I weighed 178.2. Normally I weigh every day, yet I stopped for 12 days. During that twelve days I was dealing with my sister's sudden move to Seattle and my totally insane niece, fallout from other family members because I basically kidnapped my sister and moved her, and of course, the snowstorm, ice storm and the power outage. All great excuses for eating like a fool (at least that's what I told myself).
Not only have I been eating poorly and eating too much, but I also cut back on my gym workouts drastically. I didn't even go this morning, claiming I was just too tired and too beaten down. That's exactly when I should go, but I just couldn't do it this morning.
No worries though, I have plans to get back on track. I'm not beating myself up too bad because I have lots of other people that do a great job of beating me up mentally (okay, really only one person but she has many personalities).
Tomorrow I meet with an attorney to file court papers to stop my niece's crazy antics. Even though I'm dreading the whole legal maze I'll have to go through to stop my niece, I have a sense of relief that I made the decision to follow through on what I've been talking about for months.
Thank you for all your supportive comments on my sad day post yesterday. It really helped. I agree that I need to seek help from a professional. I know this, but right now I'm swamped with all the financial, medical and now legal facets of my sister's life, not to mention my real life job.
Until I get things straightened out for my sister, I have to put myself on the back burner, but just temporarily. I know someone I can see that can help me. She's a therapist I met years ago in Toastmasters and she's awesome. We've kept in touch and as soon as things calm down a bit I'm calling her for an appointment. I think she can help me sort out this craziness. Thank you again. I love you guys. You make me feel somewhat normal (and not the wicked witch of Washington).