Monday, September 30, 2013

My first day back on Weight Watchers

I made it through my first day of Weight Watchers without feeling completely starved and only mildly deprived. I actually tracked every bite and stayed within my Points.

I don't remember the last time I tracked an entire day of food. It was interesting that even though I don't have that ridiculous 100% focus on weight loss that makes me somewhat psycho (okay, a LOT psycho), I still made really good choices.

At the movie I refused the buttered popcorn my friend offered to me, but I did indulge in his Junior Mints. I used my Weight Watcher phone app and scanned the bar code. Sixteen Junior Mints is 5 Points. I counted out 16 mints, placed them on a napkin and ate them one by one, savoring each bite. They would have been better if they were frozen but this theater doesn't freeze them. My sister, who was with us (and is with us every Sunday) thought the whole thing was hysterically funny.

My friend thought I was just plain nuts and tried to convince me to eat whatever I want on weekends and diet during the week. It works for him. He eats super healthy all week, then starting Friday night through Sunday night, he eats whatever he wants. This maintains his healthy 160 pounds on a 6' frame (and he's 55 years old). I claim he has some sort of freakishly fast metabolism although he swears that's not the case. Regardless, I know my body well enough to know I can't eat whatever I want on weekends. The Junior Mints were my big indulgence and something I would have never done in my previous life. Waste 5 Points on candy?! Never! But this is my new life where I relax the rules a little on occasion, in an effort to maintain my sanity.

Dinner was at Applebees last night, with my sister and friend. He almost always orders from the under 550 calorie selection. I looked up the nutrition for the Napa Chicken and Portobello meal he ordered and it was 11 Points. Less than the Weight Watcher selections. It was really good and very filling. I'd highly recommend it if you end up eating at Applebees.

It's almost 5 a.m. I'm going to get dressed in my gym clothes and head to the gym. It's going to be part of my new routine. I'm excited to see what they've done to it during the week long closure for renovation. I really hope they have some cool, new cardio equipment. I hate cardio so anything different would be fun.

I can't believe I've actually posted two days in a row. It's been months but I feel this blog is a necessary and fun part of trying to lose weight. I've missed it. I've missed the people that use to read it and leave kind and supportive comments. I hope you're all still out there. :)

Sunday, September 29, 2013

A Divine Intervention

Last week was one of the most difficult and emotional weeks I've had in a long time. This coming from a woman who has had the most difficult year of her life.

I had to go to court two times last week. One for being held in contempt of court by my estranged husband for ridiculous charges. This was the third time for the same imagined offense. He claimed I had returned his computers to his attorney with the hard drives wiped clean. This is simply not true. They were in working condition when I delivered them to his attorney's office in March. I have been to court three times over this charge and the first two times the judge told him to bring in evidence. I had contacted a computer forensics specialist and he told a hard drive kept a record on it of the exact date and time it was wiped clean. Each time my husband showed up in court he was suppose to present the evidence. Naturally, since it never happened he never had any evidence.

As I drove to court on Wednesday I prayed. I prayed for three things: 1.) that the judge was fair and saw through the lies; 2.) my attorney would be at the top of his game and 3.) that my mother was there in spirit (I was wearing her wedding band on my right ring finger - the first time ever).

What happened in the next two hours was amazing. First, the judge that was assigned to the hearing called in sick at the last minute. I knew her from another hearing and for some reason I never understood, she didn't like me. She always seemed to side with my husband's attorney and not mine. Instead she had been replaced with a judge that had been on the bench for forty years and he was the most fair and impartial judge I've ever had at a hearing. Keep in mind I've been in court nine times in less than a year, with different judges. I'm getting to know a lot of them.

Second, my attorney had just returned from a ten-day vacation. He had spent all day Sunday in his office studying up on his cases. He was at the top of his game. He was the best I've ever seen him.

Third, even though my mother wasn't there (she passed away in 2005), when my attorney walked up to me in the courthouse he had someone with him. Someone I've known for two years and consider a friend. I've heard all about her divorce. She's the one who recommended my divorce attorney saying he was the best (and he has been wonderful). She was bringing her husband back to court for being in arrears for $50,000 of child support. Her case was heard right before mine. So even though my mom wasn't there it was like God sent a friend to be by my side.

I won't go into the details of the hearing, but everything went really well for me, and really bad for my husband. I do feel a certain amount of pity for him, but any love I felt at one time is gone. I don't wish him a bad life, I just want him out of my life.

There was a settlement hearing for the divorce on Thursday. The idea was to settle division of property and debt so we don't have to go to a divorce trial on November 19. I was sure it wouldn't go anywhere since we're not agreeing on division of property or debt. My husband was 30 minutes late to the hearing. They kept us in separate rooms. The judge was kind and seemed fair. However, he said that my husband and his attorney hadn't submitted any documents for the settlement hearing so it was not going to happen. I had agonized for hour preparing my document, trying my best to divide everything 50/50. Oh well. More of my time wasted. Not to mention the $270 for my attorney to just show up, the three hours I took off from work, and the ridiculous $12 parking fee.

The criminal trial is scheduled for October 9. It's suppose to last four or five days. I meet with my husband's defense attorney on Friday for an interview, with the prosecutor and my advocate. I'm dreading but I just hope he sees the truth. I know what my husband has told his defense attorney. I've seen the numerous declarations my husband has filed with the court. They're pretty amazing. It's like reading a fictional novel about a crazy, lunatic female - but that female is suppose to be me and this is my real life.

On the diet and exercise note, I rejoined Weight Watchers yesterday. My weight is definitely up, 198. I'm not crazy about the new leader. In fact, she's really awful. With our old leader the room was filled with people. It was energetic and fun. There was always at least sixty people at the meetings with Janis. Now, about ten people showed. up. It was so boring I thought I was going to fall asleep. Next week my girlfriend and I are going to try a different meeting. I briefly met the leader from the earlier meeting. She was leaving when I arrived. She was friendly, said hello, and asked me how I was doing. Even though I'd never met her I felt a positive energy from her and thought she might be a good leader.

Exercise has been horrible for weeks now. I finally made it back to the gym last weekend only to find out it was closing for all of last week for renovations and new equipment being brought in. So now I'm kind of excited about getting back to my morning routine this week and see what type of new equipment they have and what it looks like. It was definitely in need of an overhaul.

I have my CT Scan on October 16 to see if the cancer has returned, and appointment with my oncologist. I don't feel sick, but I didn't feel sick before until right before the surgery (before I even knew it was cancer). Usually this cancer, Uterine Leiomyosarcoma, comes back in seven to eighteen months after surgical removal. I'm only at six months so even it they don't see anything, it's still early.
I don't mean to sound pessimistic, just realistic. It's a very aggressive cancer so there's a very real possibility that it will come back. I hope it doesn't but only time will tell.

Well, that's it. Life goes on.