My weight is back up in the 220's. I'm not even sure what I weigh since I haven't been on the scale for a few weeks. My 59th birthday was last Thursday. I'm out of shape and feel every year of my 59 years.
I've noticed about 75% of the bloggers in my blog roll are gone. I wonder if they did the same as me and just gave up and decided not to write about it anymore. I completely understand that line of thinking because that's where I've been for months.
The thing I can't figure out is why this weight gain happened. I'm not depressed. I'm madly in love with the man of my dreams. He treats me like a princess and is actually probably a little more in love with me than I am with him (and he reminds me of this every day). I love him like crazy, but he loves me a little more. It's really a nice feeling to be appreciated and loved and to love someone back that deserves it.
Last year was a bit rocky, cancer and divorce. This year my sister passed away about three days after my last post. Which was three weeks after my niece, my sister's daughter, committed suicide.
Even though those were sad events and maybe a little stressful, it doesn't explain the weight gain or giving up on exercising. I was sure this time was it, and I'd never gain the weight back. I've thought that so many times in my life that it "almost" makes me think why even bother to try this again.
I can't just give up on myself. I have so much to live for, so many things I want to do before I die. Since I'm definitely in the last phase of my life, I don't have any time to squander on being fat. So I'm making another attempt to get healthy.
I'm not sure which "diet" or food plan I'm going to do this time around. I rejoined Weight Watchers two months ago, but I just couldn't get into the swing of it. Since my favorite leader quit I can't find a leader that I even sort of like. They all sort of annoy me. I'm still trying to figure that part out.
I am back at the gym and boy is that hard. Working out is painful when you're 220+ pounds. My body feels like it has lead weights attached to it. Every minute on the elliptical was pure torture. I only did 20 minutes today but it felt like an hour. I had done five minutes warmup on the the Stairmaster, which was even worse torture than the elliptical. Twenty minutes of weights and I was out of there. How on earth I ever did 90-minute workouts I'll never know.
So I'm back. Back to posting, back to reading the few blogs that are still out there. Back to diet and exercise. Hello world!