Showing posts from 2015

Forgiving myself

This should have posted last Monday because I set it up on a schedule, unfortunately, I never hit the "Publish" button. Since I haven't been back for a week, I didn't even noticed it didn't post. Oh's week old news.

I've been on and off diets since I was 14 years old. I've lost varying amounts of weight each time, from the ten pounds when I was fourteen, 97 pounds when I was forty-three, or 85 pounds I lost when I was fifty-four. I remember each grueling diet, each day being a struggle, and every diet was a hard-fought battle. I also remember each subsequent re-gain of the weight and the depression, embarrassment and self-hate that went with it. 

I'd like to think my weight doesn't define me, but that's simply not true. It controls my life. When I'm fat, I'm uncomfortable in my own skin and it shows. I'm not only weak physically, but my personality changes. My ex-spouse told me several times that I change when I …

I love my new 30-year old doctor!

I had my physical on Friday. I was apprehensive since I had to establish as a new patient with a new doctor. My last doctor, which I adored, moved to a clinic that's an hour and a half drive from my house. My regular clinic is about a 10-minute drive. I decided it just wasn't worth the drive to stick with my old doctor.

There's something to be said about a young doctor (she's 30). She graduated medical school in 2013 and finished her residency in 2014. At first she was a bit standoffish, but that was probably because of the email I had sent her when she canceled my first appointment five weeks ago and rescheduled for last Friday. I wasn't happy, and her response was rather curt. Not a good start for either of us.

Fortunately, after we started chatting, she warmed up to me and me to her. She's pretty cool. She had already read through my entire medical history and knew all about me, which was really nice. She pointed out that two medicines I take now can affect …

Happy Friday!

I had every intention of coming back here and posting every day, but it was a rough week! After my bout of pneumonia, I've been a lot weaker and tire very easily. I just don't feel 100% back to myself. Just walking up one flight of stairs at work took everything out of me. Each day I get a little better, so I'm definitely one the mend, but it took a lot more out of me than I realized.

I was off work yesterday and today on planned vacation time. I'm not really on a vacation (I wish!). Yesterday was my company's annual awards banquet where there honor a small number of employees nominated by their peers as outstanding, exceptional employees. My best friend of 20+ years was one of the thirteen people that received the Legend award (from a company of 13,000 employees). I was invited as one of her guests so had the pleasure of an evening at the Four Seasons in downtown Seattle (fancy!). It was very fun, and I was super excited for her. She's an amazing person in gen…

Good health should never be taken for granted

The title of this post is a given, common sense, and everyone knows it. But do we really think about it until that good health has been compromised? If you're like me, probably not. We expect good health, until it's not there.

My bout with pneumonia this past two weeks was a real wake-up call. My attention and dedication to living a healthy life went on vacation the last of couple years.

I have excuses, really, I do. Let's see, there was the most horrible divorce ever. Even my attorney said he'd never seen such a contensious divorce in his 45 years of practicing law. It was also extremely expensive. This due to the other party fighting me tooth and nail on every single issue. It was very bad, but it's over and it was worth every penny and every agonizing moment to get rid of 250 pounds of ugly fat (that was my attorney's saying).

Then the rare, extremely aggressive cancer that I was diagnosed with two years ago, and hasn't resurfaced yet. Even though that s…

Did eating healthy give me pneumonia? Nah!

Four weeks ago I rejoined Weight Watchers, cut out sugar, made healthy choices, started taking my daily vitamin again, actually tracked my food. I started back to the gym, was wearing my Fitbit, walking at lunch and getting in my 10,000 steps a day. Things went pretty good for two weeks. Down a few pounds, feeling better, more alive. Life was good.

Then it all went to hell in a hand basket last week. A coworker came to work with a bad cold. Next thing you know, I'm sick. The cold turned into the flu, with 103 temperature, vomiting and diarrhea. I thought I was going to die. The flu turned into pneumonia. This all happened in one week. I saw the doctor last Monday, she sent me home for another week. My blood oxygenation was 91, which is pretty low (I've never seen mine below 98). At 91 the red blood cells can't get enough oxygen and organs can get damaged. Breathing has been difficult, and then there's the coughing. I coughed so much and so hard that my ribs ached.


It's not rocket science

Yesterday was sort of a fail. My eating was very healthy, but I didn't track my food after  breakfast. I didn't track it because I was lazy. I'm sure I was well within my Weight Watcher Points of 30, but I just didn't feel like making the effort to document everything I ate. I had a huge salad with about 3 oz. of cutup chicken breast for dinner, with homemade balsamic vinegar and olive oil dressing. It was delicious and the first salad I've had in about a year. I'll do better at tracking my food today.

Exercise yesterday was non-existent. Sometimes I wonder if I could become fused to my chair. Like I've read about that can happen to extremely overweight people when they never leave their recliner or couch. In my weak defense, I still have a terrible sounding cough from a cold I had over a week ago. It sounds a lot worse than it feels, but I didn't want a lot of stares at the gym as I hacked away while exercising. Not that I need an excuse to not exercis…

Off to a turtle pace start for 2015

It's been three weeks since I posted anything. Three weeks of constantly thinking I really need to do something about my weight, but not putting much effort into it. I sort of tried, but not really. I didn't eat a few boxes of cookies or bags of candy that I would have normally eaten. I only ate fast food once. I walked during lunch a few times and hit the gym once or twice a week. Isn't it strange how we make our new normal? Mine had become no exercise and eating every piece of junk I wanted.

This morning I logged into Weight Watchers. I signed up for online three weeks ago and logged my food twice during that time. Today I told myself is the day that I get serious about losing weight. Of course that voice in my head said "ha, I've heard that before!". Shut up head if you can't stay positive.

I entered my food in the tracker for today and looked at the weight tracker. I had added my weight on December 28 but hadn't touched it since then. I weighed t…