Sunday, January 18, 2015

It's not rocket science

Yesterday was sort of a fail. My eating was very healthy, but I didn't track my food after  breakfast. I didn't track it because I was lazy. I'm sure I was well within my Weight Watcher Points of 30, but I just didn't feel like making the effort to document everything I ate. I had a huge salad with about 3 oz. of cutup chicken breast for dinner, with homemade balsamic vinegar and olive oil dressing. It was delicious and the first salad I've had in about a year. I'll do better at tracking my food today.

Exercise yesterday was non-existent. Sometimes I wonder if I could become fused to my chair. Like I've read about that can happen to extremely overweight people when they never leave their recliner or couch. In my weak defense, I still have a terrible sounding cough from a cold I had over a week ago. It sounds a lot worse than it feels, but I didn't want a lot of stares at the gym as I hacked away while exercising. Not that I need an excuse to not exercise, because sometimes, I'm just lazy.

Today I have three simple goals:

1.) Track my food in Weight Watchers online tracker
2.) Stay within my 30 Points
3.) Go to the gym!!!  (this should really be number one)

I ordered this last week, and I'm really looking forward to listening to these CDs -- The Mind-Body Code: How the Mind Wounds and Heals the Body. Unfortunately Amazon delivered it to someone else in a different city so I won't get it until tomorrow. I think my problem is the negative voice in my head telling me I can't do this. Somehow I need to stop listening to it and get that positive, supportive voice to come back to life. I need to heal my body. 

The formula for losing weight is so simple. Eat less, move more. It's not a secret, it's not rocket science, but it's so difficult. Something is causing me to fail at this and I think it's me. I should be the one in control of what goes in my mouth, but it seems like there's something else going on here. I really need to figure it out. 

The sun is out, a real rarity this time of year in the Pacific Northwest. I think I'll go for a walk. I love the sun. Sun mixed with some exercise, it's like an antidepressant for me.

Until tomorrow....

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Off to a turtle pace start for 2015

It's been three weeks since I posted anything. Three weeks of constantly thinking I really need to do something about my weight, but not putting much effort into it. I sort of tried, but not really. I didn't eat a few boxes of cookies or bags of candy that I would have normally eaten. I only ate fast food once. I walked during lunch a few times and hit the gym once or twice a week. Isn't it strange how we make our new normal? Mine had become no exercise and eating every piece of junk I wanted.

This morning I logged into Weight Watchers. I signed up for online three weeks ago and logged my food twice during that time. Today I told myself is the day that I get serious about losing weight. Of course that voice in my head said "ha, I've heard that before!". Shut up head if you can't stay positive.

I entered my food in the tracker for today and looked at the weight tracker. I had added my weight on December 28 but hadn't touched it since then. I weighed this morning, and I really wasn't sure what my weight was before I started my half-assed attempt at losing weight. I was very surprised to see I'd lost 7.2 pounds in three weeks. Although I'm a little happy about it, part of me can't help but think if I had really made an effort, I could have lost a lot more. I know from my past efforts that when I start out at a high weight, 236 pounds this time, the weight comes off pretty easy to the beginning. At least I didn't gain 7.2 pounds. Yes, that's the bad voice in my head that wants to make me fail at this, now allowing me to be happy about what it considers a mediocre weight loss. I'm working on shutting down that voice, but a lifetime of listening to it make it hard.

I got a Fitbit Flex as a gift from where I work (we could choose anything from our company store for $100 - I chose the Fitbit). I love this thing. The few times I've actually used it, it really motivated me. Well, at least for a few days. When I didn't make an effort to exercise it was depressing to look at it. I walked yesterday at lunch and was delighted to see the walk was three miles. I had measured it on a few years ago, and I was happy to see the fitbit came up with the same distance. Fitbit results from yesterday (fitbit emailed me that I was an over achiever. Hahaha!):

I don't have an exciting scheduled today. I had a healthy, late breakfast, now some house cleaning (I love a clean house but hate to clean), a gym visit and maybe a walk with my boyfriend (he joined my gym and loves going to the gym...nice, but sometimes annoying too). Then something light and healthy for dinner. 

One day at a time is all I can do. It would be great if I could keep up a two pound a week weight loss, but I know that's not realistic. As long as I give this at least some effort, I'll be happy. I doubt I'll become a crazed maniac going to the gym five or six days a week and tracking every single bite I eat - at least not every day. That's just not me anymore. I'm pretty sure that "do or die" attitude I had was exactly what helped lead me down the path to cancer. I'm a little more relaxed about stuff these days. It's the key to a happy life.