Confession is good for the soul
This is not easy. Of course, if it was easy there wouldn't be any overweight people (how many times have we heard that one?). Losing weight is hard work, and keeping it off is even harder.
I have a confession to make that I haven't told anyone, except my boyfriend. I feel guilty about this, but here it goes. I have a very good friend, who is also my ex-sister-in-law. She is one of my dearest friends, although we don't see each other as often as we used to. She was about 130 pounds overweight. In April last year she had a vertical sleeve gastrectomy (bariatric surgery). In the first six weeks she lost 40 pounds. She has since lost a total of 120 pounds, which I found out from her husband. I'm very happy for her, because I know how important this was to her. I'm also insanely jealous and envious of her success.
I hate myself for feeling like this, and for trying to avoid her. She's texted a few times to meet for coffee (she doesn't really eat anymore), and I made excuses to not see her. She texted me two night's ago asking for my vet's name because she had a very sick kitty, and my vet is open until 10pm. I ended up calling her and we talked for an hour about everything. I admitted to her I was jealous, and she was so sweet to me. She understood. We're meeting for coffee next week and I know nothing will be different between us. She's still my good friend, just a skinnier version.
I would love to have this surgery. I know my friend was miserable for the first month and could barely swallow the smallest bites of food without them getting stuck in her esophagus. She said she feels great now. She still barely eats because she can't eat much without getting sick. She has to drink the bariatric shakes to get enough nutrition and take supplements - for the rest of her life. She's still losing weight, but not as quickly now. She wants to lose a little more weight, but she wouldn't say how much.
I know weight loss surgery is not an easy fix. There's still a lot of mental issues that need to be dealt with. If my friend is going to therapy, she hasn't mentioned it. She's one of the sweetest, most loving people I know. I also know no one gains 130+ pounds unless there's something else going on. I know her marriage is difficult. She's married to my ex-husband's brother. Although he's a nicer version, he still has some serious issues.
If I hadn't had Uterine Leiomyosarcoma (cancer) a couple years ago, I'd seriously consider this surgery. At least, I think I'd consider it. My boyfriend thinks it would be a huge mistake to mess with my body chemistry after I had the surgery to remove the cancer. Plus the fact that the cancer has a 50% chance of coming back. Having voluntary invasive surgery just seems like I'd be asking for trouble. Plus the long-term effects of the surgery aren't something I want to deal with (possible malnutrition).
I'm not having the surgery, but I can't help the feelings I'm having about my friend's rapid weight loss. I wish I could let go of the these feelings, but I guess I'll just have to deal with them as I continue to do my best to lose weight the old fashioned way (called Weight Watchers...diet and exercise).