Friday, April 20, 2018

It's a never ending journey (162.4)

After decades of battling my weight, I've finally come to peace with the fact that this journey to maintain good health never ends. I always thought if I'd lose the weight, get to goal, then I'd be on easy street. That's never worked before, and I've finally accepted that it doesn't work that way. 

People always say that losing weight is just half the battle. Maintaining the weight loss is the other half of the battle. For me, maintenance is the hardest part and the biggest part. I struggle every day, and in spite of what people may tell you, it never gets easy. At least, it's not easy not for me. It's an uphill battle every single day of my life.

Looking back at my old Weight Watcher weight records, here's my past ten years:

2/12/2008 - 238.0 pounds 
Started Weight Watchers again, and making an honest attempt to lose weight. I remember I felt miserable. I had plantar fasciitis, I had chest pains when I walked, even walking slowly. I was completely miserable.

3/1/2009 - 154.4 pounds
Not at goal because I had set a goal of 135. I don't think I was at this weight more than a few days before  I started the slide back to gaining weight.

2/23/2015 - 233.4 pounds
A restart of Weight Watchers for the at least the 10th time since 2008, I just don't have all the weight records from those years. Although I know each time resulted in a weight loss and a subsequent weight gain..

2/13/2015 - 205.8 pounds
And then I stopped Weight Watchers again, for almost two years.

1/8/2917 - 218.4 pounds
Another restart

4/15/2018 - 162.4 pounds

Net loss since 2008, ten years, is -75.6 pounds

The difference this time is that I've been between 161 and 167 pounds since November 5, 2017. I've been in an "accidental" maintenance mode for almost six months. That's not necessarily a thing to brag about, but it's also not a bad thing. In fact, it's better than anything I've done in the past ten years when it comes to weight loss. 

The past is the past. I can't undo the mental and physical damage I've done to myself after years of big weight losses and weight gains. I think I've learned something over the years. Mainly that I can't do something to lose weight that I'm not willing to do the rest of my life if I want to maintain my weight loss.

I can't eat a 100% clean diet 100% of the time. Ideally, I'd cut out all processed foods. Realistically, I can cut out a lot of processed foods, but not ALL processed foods. I like some processed foods, and they make me happy. If I'm going to be real about this, I will eat them. Maybe some Halo Top or Enlightened high protein ice cream. Or some seaweed chips, and a slice of healthy bread. Or maybe a slice or two of real sharp cheddar cheese or homemade pizza with turkey pepperoni. 

I could provide a long list of things I eat that some people would tell me that they're unhealthy foods. Perhaps they'd be correct. I don't eat these things every day, but I do eat them occasionally. Like I said, they make me happy. Being happy about my food is a key component for me to maintain my weight loss.

As far as exercise, whatever I'm doing now I will have to maintain the rest of my life. If I don't, I will have to eat fewer calories. I'm not really willing to do that at this point. Right now my average calorie intake is between 1800 and 2000. According to my Apple watch, I'm burning about 300-400 calories a day between exercising and walking. I'm not 100% convinced my Apple Watch is accurate. I think it exaggerates my calorie burn. Regardless, I eat a lot of food every day, which is probably why I'm in a maintenance mode.

I still want to lose another 8 pounds. My goal this time around is 154, which will give me a healthy BMI of 24.9 (I'm 5' 6"). I'll get there, but I'm not in any big rush (although I'd love to stop paying Weight Watchers $44.95 a month). 

That's my update. Nothing earth shattering. Just my experience with weight loss and what seems to be working for me. However, I still know I could regain the 75 pounds in a heartbeat. I've here before and know the dangers of losing a large amount of weight and regaining it. 

I truly doubt anyone reads this, because blogs seem to be a thing of the past. However, I want to keep some kind of record of how I'm doing. I read some of my old posts from 2008/2009. They are truly cringe worthy. It made me a little sad, because I was so happy at one point and then so sad because I gained all my weight back. My emotions are tightly coupled with my weight at that time. Here's a post from one of my happy times (and I'm currently five pounds above the weight in the video). By the way, this is from my very old blog started over 10 years ago in 2008. 



Lyn said...

I will always read you Diana! We are sooo similar in our process, and in the way we think and feel about food and exercise. I relate to so much of what you've said here and come to some of the same conclusions. We have to be happy with food, even if people tell us we should *never* link food and emotions. I have found it is better for me to keep a flavor or two of Halo Top in my freezer and have one serving here and there when I want it, than to yearn for forbidden ice cream for months and then flip out and buy a couple pints of Ben and Jerry's and snarf it down with regrets. Often I end up tossing the last half of the Halo Top because it's been in there so long it's freezer burned! But just having it there as an option makes wanting ice cream a non-issue.

You sound like you're in a good place emotionally and physically. Being within ten pounds of goal is a great thing! No rush, just do your thing and stay calm and enjoy :) We've both really got this this time. I hope you have a line in the sand weight... one where you refuse to cross so if you hit that number you pull out all the stops to get back from the line at least 3 or 4 pounds. Well, this comment is getting long so maybe I will drop you an email later! Take care.

Diandra said...

Looks as if you are doing not too bad! I usually maintain during the colder months and lose during the warmer months - this means I "only" lose 10-12 pounds per year, but in the long run it's not too bad, if I say so myself. Keep it up!

MaryFran said...

I’m still reading (and posting)! Thanks for this post, it helped me to see your ups and downs and know that this journey I’m on is normal!!!o

Sharon Whites said...

Great way to record your weight loss journey. And don't forget that like in every sphere of our life, we too have our fair share of ups and downs--but don't lose heart. Persistence is the key!

Grace said...

I still read, Diana, and I'm always glad when you post an update. I'm glad you are doing well because I always worry when you don't post for a long time.

Michelle said...

I read via my RSS feed. I’m always excited when your posts show up!

Sherry Griffin said...

I just started blogging again and was happy to see you are still posting! I'm inspired by you.

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