Sunday, December 30, 2018

2019...new year, new me?

The title of this post is a joke, there's no new me. It's just the same old me, doing the same old stuff. Just for fun, I went back to my first blog (Diana's Original Blog) and read my January 1, 2009 post, ten years ago. It's cringeworthy, and so freaking boring. My goals were eat right, exercise, seek counseling for my compulsive overeating, and of course, lose weight. There's something in there about working on my marriage, but we all know how that went! That actually made me laugh out loud (I was so funny!). 

But this post caught my eye.Please excuse my potty mouth. I really try to keep it clean, most of the time. I was extremely frustrated when I wrote this.

Posted January 8, 2009:
This has been the forefront thought in my brain lately, don't fucking screw this up again! I'm talking about my weight. I'm talking about every time in the last ten years as I reach 160 pounds, 25 pounds from my goal of 135, I screw it up. Every single time.
Taken from this post: http://diana1359.blogspot.com/2009/01/why-im-not-going-to-screw-it-up-this.html

I could write that same post again. I was 165 the beginning of December 2018, and today I'm 175. Ten pounds in a month. No excuses, just the same old pattern that I have chosen several times in my life.

The good thing is that I didn't return to my January 2017 weight of 218 pounds, or even worse, my 2008 weight of 238. However, January 2018 I was 167. I bounced between 160 and 170 during 2018 (I was 158 for a brief moment). This month I made several bad choices and managed to get up to 175 as of yesterday, and I lost a $100 DietBet, after winning three in a row. That was very humiliating.

It's a new year in a couple days, and new beginnings. I love the start of a new year. It's so fresh, and I'm always filled with high hopes for what the new year will bring. 2019 is no different. There won't be a new me, I'm still the same. But the old me is always hopeful for the future, and that's the part of myself I love. That in spite of past failures, I know success is still within my reach. So bring it on 2019, this will be my year! 

P.S. Part of my new year plan is to update this blog in 2019. I know blogs are a thing of the past, but they're so fun, and an interesting documentation of a person's life  (albeit somewhat embarrassing at times). I checked on several of my old, favorite bloggers, and most of their blogs have been abandoned. I know there are a lot of people on youtube talking about weight loss/exercise, but I can't find any of the old blog people I used to follow. I miss them. If you read this and still blog, please leave a note in the comments. Or if you have a youtube channel, please let me know. I'm considering a youtube channel when I retire in 2020. There aren't enough old people on there, everyone is 20-something! 

8 comments:

Roxie said...

Hi Diana!

KB said...

I abandoned my blog for a while but I am back to it as I enjoy it so much. I'm also on a health journey so it would be good to be in touch.

Deniz said...

Hi Diana,
I am still here and I am delighted to see your blog post. Old fashioned I may be, but I prefer the blog world too.
I empathise with the gain, having done a similar thing. I have to admit that I've fallen off the wagon with non-keto eating (regret the sugary crap, but too late).
A return to work hopefully will bring a return to sanity, or at least structure, in this respect.
Here's to a successful 2019.
Hugs from the UK.
Deniz

MaryFran said...

I am with you...blogging is a great way to document and for me a great way to get thoughts out of my head and it also gives me accountability! (Excuse the run on sentence!!!). I have been around for a while it it is crazy how many people have come and gone!!! 2018 wasn’t a great year for me in terms of weight loss.....but I’m determined to make 2019 a fantastic one!!

neca said...

Been blogging since 2004, although I did get pretty scarce for a while. I love this historical record of it! Best wishes for the new year!

Diandra said...

Similar here ... the magic number being 68.6 kg (exactly - isn't that hilarious?). I aim to get down to 63 kg eventually, but I never get any lower than 68.6 kg for more than a day or two, and then something in my lizard brain panics and lets me "unstarve" myself to 75 kg or something. Ah well, we'll keep trying. And it's still better than those annoying 90 kg I dragged with me before.

Good luck!

Michelle said...

I still read your blog. I’m delighted every time a post from you shows up in my feed!

Michelle said...

I have missed you!! You've got me excited to start writing again to my whole 7 readers! LOL. Seriously it is cathartic to write it all out, even if nobody is reading.

I'm still struggling with my eating, but I have improved a little bit since my last post. The night of the 4th was awful. I was basicall...