It's been a while...

I was reading the Runs for Cookies post today and remembered how much I used to love reading blogs. Back it their heyday, it was very fun and inspiring to read fellow bloggers who had similar interests as me, health and fitness, and of course, weight loss. 

Now that I'm retired (since December 2020), I should have all the time in the world to write blog posts. Right? Wrong! The first eight months of 2021 was crazy busy. I unexpectedly went into the house remodeling mode. 

After working from home for nine months in 2020, and then retiring, I couldn't stand looking at all the stuff in my home that needed to be painted, repaired, or replaced. Including 25-year old toilets and bathroom vanities and removing the hardwood floor throughout the house and replacing it, just to mention a few things. It all started with one light fixture replacement that made everything else in the house look  old and outdated. The house was in disrepair and needed some loving attention (not to mention a lot of money).

Dealing with numerous contractors caused a lot of anxiety and frustration. It's 95% complete and I'm so happy! It was a nightmare, and one that I hope to never repeat in my lifetime (since I'm 66 I'm pretty sure that was it). 

Now it's time to focus on I what I tried to do when I started this blog in 2009. Health. I'm 66 and currently a good 50+ pounds overweight. For those of you that want to do the math, I weigh 197 and have a goal of 145. Okay, that's technically 52 pounds but I like the sound of 50, plus I'd be thrilled with 147.

In an effort to not make this a ridiculously long and drawn out posts, I'll follow up tomorrow and write about my newest plan to get healthy. It's nothing new, well, not exactly, but kind of. LOL!

Death to 2020

I'm 65 and this has definitely been the craziest year I've experienced (so far). What a crazy, mixed up and downright confusing year it's been. On the attempt to be positive, I won't go into the miserable stuff too much (maybe just a little). Here's what my year has been like:

Event #1:  March 12, 2020 3:00pm - Due to the pandemic, my entire work department was sent to home. We were told to gather all the things we'd need to work from home indefinitely. Computers, monitors and some even took their office chairs home. Most of us are still working from home (except me - which I'll explain later). 

Event #2:  March19, 2020 - We adopted a cat! There'd been a stray in our neighborhood for about two months. No one knew who he belonged to, but he was always begging for food. At first we thought he was feral because we couldn't go near him. Since we'd lost our beloved 18-year old Missy October 2018, we still had a large supply of cat food on hand. We started feeding him, and he kept coming around. He would practically inhale the food. 

This went on for two months, then he went missing for three days. We thought maybe a coyote had got him. On March 19, he showed up on our back porch, with a huge abscess on his side. I tricked him into coming into the house to eat, then slammed that slider shut behind him. He went crazy, bouncing off the walls, as one would expect a feral cat to do when trapped inside a house. I used a large silicone oven mitt and approached him, I started petting him with the mitt and he started purring. The rest is history. I leash trained him in our back yard, but now we walk around the fenced yard with him just wearing his harness and collar. He never tries to leave the yard. He's such a love, we absolutely adore him.

Event #3:  June 12, 2020 - I got sick. I was sure it wasn't Covid-19, just a cold or flu. My symptoms were a fever of 102 degrees, exhaustion like I've never felt in my life, and my head felt like it was going to explode. After three days I called my doctor and was basically told to come in immediately for a Covid test. I laughed and said, it's NOT Covid, but okay. It was Covid. It ran its course for ten days. It never got in my lungs, no hospitalization, and obviously, I lived. But it was still very scary, especially since I was 65 at the time.

Event #4:  July 25, 2020 - I got married to the love of my life! It was literally the best day of my life. We had plans for a May wedding and a honeymoon in Paris (which was all paid for). Then the pandemic came along, and all plans were put on hold. After my Covid experience, and realizing life really is short (I was sure I was going to die from Covid because I'm old!), we decided to have a Covid wedding. Just my best friend and her husband were the guests. The pastor, a photographer and the lady and her daughter that own the little chapel were the only other people present. I bought my dress from Brides for a Cause, and I loved it. Our reception was prepared by my best friend's sisters, at a private beach, on a picnic table. It was the absolutely most fun day I've ever experienced. 

Event #5:  November 1, 2020 - I retired after 37 years with the same company! I had actually been planning it for a year, but unfortunately, 600 other people retired two months before me. I work for an airline, and they were begging people to retire. Since I'd already planned mine, I wasn't offered any of the early out packages. I missed the boat on that one. In addition, my pension benefits are going to be delayed for four months. Usually they're dispersed in two weeks. It's still the second best decision I've ever made (first was to marry my wonderful husband, Charles).

So, now you are all caught up on my life. I'll be back tomorrow to post recent activities, which have been crazy!

Day 2! I made it through one whole day!

Yesterday was a good day. I was determined to get through it with getting in some exercise (6-mile hike in the hills in the woods) and not eating everything in sight. I ate 1,557 calories, with 1,205 active calories burned, so I was definitely in a calorie deficit. Although I don't know if I really trust Apple's active calories burned estimate. I certainly don't take it as the absolute truth. Regardless, not bad for my first day of actually putting in the effort to do what I need to do.

This morning I was down one pound, from 190 to 189. Even if I could stay at 189 for a week, and not go up again, I'd be somewhat happy. Not exactly thrilled, but happy I'm not inching my way to 200 pounds again.

Today's plan, to continue with putting in some real effort. My daily maximum calorie allowance is 1,700. Although I allow myself the option to eat some of my active calories if I feel like it. I'm working hard to be kinder to myself and not so strict (which translates to stop beating myself up about eating food).

Today's plan:
1. Take my measurements and post here. This sort of horrifies me but it needs to be done.
2. Pick up my grocery order of healthy food.
3. Return my mini trampoline (rebounder). It sounded like a good idea, but I hated it.
4. Get some exercise. Maybe an outdoor walk, although it's only 33 degrees, but it's sunny. Maybe the gym which is just down the street from my house.

Truthfully, I'd love to just not leave my recliner today, and sit next to the fireplace all day. However, that's not an option. I must move. I must eat healthy. I must live.

~I'm strong, I'm powerful, I can do this!

Day 1 of really trying to lose weight

I haven't posted in months, mainly because I had nothing good to talk about. I mean, what can you say about gaining weight other than it's just really depressing? However, after reading Runs For Cookies most recent post, I feel compelled to say something.

Most of my recent posts have had the same theme, "this is hard" or "the struggle is real", "still trying", et cetera. Post after post talking about how I can't seem to get myself in the mood to lose weight. I don't have the motivation, or more important, I don't have the determination. I've been in the same state for months, just as Katie talked about in her recent Runs for Cookies post.

I still don't have the answers or the solution, but I may have a touch of determination. At least for today. For one day, I'm trying to give it my best shot. For just today, I've tracked every bite of food in My Fitness Pal. Just for today, I hiked six miles in the woods with my boyfriend. It was and still is a good day.

A little off-topic here, but my boyfriend is really my fiance, but that's a weird word, and always reminds me of this Seinfeld episode, which cracks me up every time. So I'll keep calling him my boyfriend until after the wedding, then he'll be my husband (which much less pretentious sounding).

Maybe, if I can make it through one whole day of really trying, maybe tomorrow I can make it through day two. At least, that's what I'm trying to do. One day at a time as they say.

You would think my wedding on April 18, 2020 would make me determined. Or my 10-day Paris honeymoon in May. Nope, it doesn't seem to faze me whatsoever. It's like the more I think about these two big events, the more my mind runs in the opposite direction towards eating everything in sight. It's been very strange that I can't seem to get my eating under control. I've done it before, yet it seems harder this time. Or maybe this is just my mind playing games with me. Is it really harder or is my mind just telling me it's harder so I have an excuse to be lazy?

I'm not saying it's not hard. I'm saying it's not impossible. Life in general is kind of hard. Getting up and going to work every morning. Being challenged every single day at work. Just a reminder, I'm 64 years old working with a group of twenty and thirty year olds in software development. Maybe you can relate, or maybe not. Let's just say it's a fast-paced world I live in, and it's not easy. But also, it's not impossible. Just like controlling my eating. Hard, but not impossible.

As a new source of encouragement, I have a new favorite podcast, "We Only Look Thin". I love this couple. They're so inspirational and funny as heck. I've been listening to them every day for the past two weeks, and I credit them with helping me get back on track.

I didn't mention my weight yet. I bet you thought I'd ignore it. Believe me, I wish I could ignore the fact that I'm a full 25 pounds heavier than my marathon weight in 2018. I was 165 for the marathon (and that was 10 pounds too heavy). Today I'm 190. Ouch! It sort of hurts to type that number. That's really close to 200, and I honestly in my heart thought I'd never see that number again. 

Last parting thought, how many of you want Michelle Obama's arms? I've been wanting her arms since the first time I saw them. I'm on a mission to get arms that at least look similar. Here's her workout:

Until next time, au revoir!

The struggle is real

I'm still struggling with my eating, but I have improved a little bit since my last post. The night of the 4th was awful. I was basically up most of the night because my neighbors think blowing up things and making a lot of loud noise is a fun experience. I really don't understand why there's even a law here that says fireworks are illegal, since everyone just ignores it. I was up comforting my poor little 17-year old kitty, Missy. She was traumatized by it all. Anyway, I used that as an excuse to eat most of the night (until 1am). Nothing horrible, unless you call rice crackers, avocado, a few almonds and a couple bananas horrible, but it was a needless intake of calories. 

My exercise since my Wednesday has been spot on. Now if I could just do the same with my eating. New day, new plan. It's simple really, today I'll track all my food today and stop eating at 1600 calories. Although I might adjust my calorie limit depending how our 10-mile hike goes today. Marathon training isn't easy at 180 pounds. It was so much easier at 160. That alone should be incentive to get my act together with my eating, but so far it's not really working.

I plan on taking a few pictures on our hike today and posting them here tomorrow. I love our trail at Dash Point State Park. It's three miles from our house so it's very convenient. It's 400 acres and has 17 miles of dirt trails. It's also right on the Puget Sound, and it's absolutely beautiful. 

One thing that has really helped me this week is the Phit-N-Phat podcast. I love it! I use to listen to Corrine all the time, but somehow got side-tracked with crime podcasts (addicted is more like it!). Corrine is hysterical and has a lot of insight and personal experience with weight gain and weight loss. I found her again when I was reading the Confessions of an Addict blog that I really enjoy, and she mentioned how she enjoys the Phit-N-Phat blog. The most recent podcast really hit home with me and was a tremendous help this week:

How Do You Stop a Craving to Overeat?

Well, I guess I'd better stop talking about hiking, and actually go do it. Even though sitting in my recliner with cat at my side and my boyfriend napping on the couch sounds like so much more fun, it's not the healthiest pastime (mentally yes, physically no). LOL!

One last note, I walked in the Seattle Pride Parade last Sunday with my niece. It was so much fun. Here's our team picture, she's on the far right with the pink and blue flag around her shoulders (3rd row back), and I'm the blonde to her right with the white framed sunglasses and white tank top. She's 17 and such an incredibly sweet, smart young woman. I love her to pieces. 

Seattle Pride 2019 

Fighting the good fight

It's been six months after my last post, and I'm still struggling with my weight. I've accepted that this is a lifelong battle, but one I'm determined to win.

According to my Happy Scale app (now an unhappy scale), my weight back on December 30, 2019 was 166.2. Today, I'm 183.2. A net gain of 17 pounds in 6 months (but there's still a loss since December 2015, of -46 pounds).

I'm trying to regain control of my eating and amp up my exercise. Although I know, as does anyone that's fought the weight loss battle, what you eat is of the utmost importance. I know this first hand because during my 17-pound weight gain in the last six months, I continued going to the gym and walking at lunch, averaging at least an hour or more of exercise a day and usually 15,000+ steps a day. 

Unfortunately, during this time I was eating too much, and especially too much of the wrong foods Too many sugary treats and processed foods, and too much of the healthy stuff too. I've been on an eating frenzy. I also quit Weight Watchers six months ago. Even though I haven't followed the plan for the last couple years, there's something about the accountability of weighing in with someone other than yourself, every week.

Today is a new day, and a new start. Part of my new start is this blog. My plan is to check in every day and update it with my progress, or lack of progress. I just really need some accountability in my life. 

I'm also in training for my September 21 marathon in Fairbanks, Alaska. I completed it last year at 63, and I'll be 64 this time. Today's training schedule is an easy 5-mile run (I actually jog/walk). It's especially difficult to do these runs at my current weight, which is even more incentive to lose it. 

See you tomorrow!

Update: I walked/jogged 6.5 miles on a dirt/rock trail today. It took me one hour and 45 minutes, which means I have a lot of work to do before my September 21 marathon! Average pace was 16:03 mile.

2019...new year, new me?

The title of this post is a joke, there's no new me. It's just the same old me, doing the same old stuff. Just for fun, I went back to my first blog (Diana's Original Blog) and read my January 1, 2009 post, ten years ago. It's cringeworthy, and so freaking boring. My goals were eat right, exercise, seek counseling for my compulsive overeating, and of course, lose weight. There's something in there about working on my marriage, but we all know how that went! That actually made me laugh out loud (I was so funny!). 

But this post caught my eye.Please excuse my potty mouth. I really try to keep it clean, most of the time. I was extremely frustrated when I wrote this.

Posted January 8, 2009:

Why I'm not going to screw it up this time

This has been the forefront thought in my brain lately, don't fucking screw this up again! I'm talking about my weight. I'm talking about every time in the last ten years as I reach 160 pounds, 25 pounds from my goal of 135, I screw it up. Every single time.
Taken from this post: http://diana1359.blogspot.com/2009/01/why-im-not-going-to-screw-it-up-this.html

I could write that same post again. I was 165 the beginning of December 2018, and today I'm 175. Ten pounds in a month. No excuses, just the same old pattern that I have chosen several times in my life.

The good thing is that I didn't return to my January 2017 weight of 218 pounds, or even worse, my 2008 weight of 238. However, January 2018 I was 167. I bounced between 160 and 170 during 2018 (I was 158 for a brief moment). This month I made several bad choices and managed to get up to 175 as of yesterday, and I lost a $100 DietBet, after winning three in a row. That was very humiliating.

It's a new year in a couple days, and new beginnings. I love the start of a new year. It's so fresh, and I'm always filled with high hopes for what the new year will bring. 2019 is no different. There won't be a new me, I'm still the same. But the old me is always hopeful for the future, and that's the part of myself I love. That in spite of past failures, I know success is still within my reach. So bring it on 2019, this will be my year! 

P.S. Part of my new year plan is to update this blog in 2019. I know blogs are a thing of the past, but they're so fun, and an interesting documentation of a person's life  (albeit somewhat embarrassing at times). I checked on several of my old, favorite bloggers, and most of their blogs have been abandoned. I know there are a lot of people on youtube talking about weight loss/exercise, but I can't find any of the old blog people I used to follow. I miss them. If you read this and still blog, please leave a note in the comments. Or if you have a youtube channel, please let me know. I'm considering a youtube channel when I retire in 2020. There aren't enough old people on there, everyone is 20-something!